DH has just revealed that he has nothing to show from 30k inheritance

They are married!

I think the title of this thread is misleading. Having nothing to show from a modest inheritance years ago isn’t an issue. It’s the way he think the will should be split that is very dubious. OP hasn’t made it clear what the assets even are that would be split. Sounds to me like finances and wills best kept separate and OP should leave her own assets to her daughter.

But why would the OP even want to know? It's a fairly small amount, for a start. Asking people about their money is just odd.

Er, why should he tell you, OP? He received an inheritance 10 years before he met you - how is that relevant to you?
Not to mention the fact that it was left to him, so even if you'd been married at the tine, still none of your business. My husband received a substantial inheritance after we'd been married 20+ years - I know the rough ballpark amount, but never questioned how much nor what he did with it because it was his money. He was named in his parent's Will - I wasn't. Simple.

I think the issue here is that your DH is a bit crap with finances. He can’t have that much equity in his house if it’s been interest only forever. If he sells it, is he planning to keep the profit all for himself?

I’d go as far as suggest you wouldn’t be wrong even if you’d want to leave all or most part of what is yours to your child. His child is for him to provide for.

He seems to want to make advantage of you because he fucked around with his house, frittered 30k away but still wants to leave 2/3rds for his side. 2/3! This is wrong.

Maybe a bit late but i would be very wary of him financially, now if he sells his house he won’t even have a place to go back to if things go wrong.

He sounds financially irresponsible and holds some entitled views, be careful.

Only if it's when they're married and pooling their money. Nice of you to conflate events from when a person was single ten years ago with a present day state of affairs between a man and wife. I couldn't care less what my wife did with her money a decade before I met her.

Edited for a spelling correction.

Agree with this.
it does matter if he’s good with money now but this is not your business really a 30k is a nice amount but it’s not necessarily life changing.

Keep your money separate.

Perhaps he could but doesn't see what it has to do with the OP.

I'd let him keep his house and tenant and that's his worry. He must run it as a business - you should not help out financially with that or put your name to anything l. Keep your name solely on your house, keep records of anything you pay for in upkeep and I've he does pay for anything, note that down. I'd make a will - your house to your children. Any personal ISA savings or cash in your own name - to your children, too.
It's not greedy or grasping, if he's no good with financial things now, he never will be and would be much worse if you were not around to steady things.

I don't disclose my inheritance or assets to my husband at all.
It's none of his business, plus his assets are worth roughly fifty times more than mine (in another country).
Speaking for myself.

30k 15 years ago? It really isn't that much money, a few holidays, a car and some high interest mortgage months and it's gone.

YABU.

No but you can easily explain where the money went, unlike op’s husband.

I received £27,000 from my dad's will and bought a car £11000, paid off my son's debt (which he was supposed to pay back) £10000 and the rest went on home improvement. It's really not a huge amount of money.

Wow, he should be making a very tidy profit. Unless he has been cashing in equity ? Sounds like there must have been a regular pattern of taking out bigger loans as the value increased...
Hope you can keep a handle on his financial choices going forward 🤞

He’s had the house for 20 years, he got the inheritance 15 years ago.
It did not help him get the house although would’ve been useful in paying down the capital on an interest only mortgage.

Nice misogynistic insult there. What about a man who wants to check how his wife behaves around money, or is it ok the other way round?

It’s not nosy to want to be sure of someone’s approach to money if you’re going to be legally financially connected. You’re taking a risk if you’re not bothering to check.

He owns a house , granted he's paying interest only which is very silly, but he clearly got a deposit down on his own. That 30k would have been very helpful in putting him that position to buy. Plus general life costs, you can't really question money from that long ago. And even if he went and blew it on a massive holiday, that's exactly what inheritance is for in my books. My family wouldn't want me using it to pay off sept, they would want me to use it to make memories

Absolutely this. And if she's upset about how he handles money, this is something that should have been discussed before marriage. Or been enough not to marry him.

Wasting money while single isnt the business of a wife or husband

£30000 over 10 yrs is nothing, it's like a nice bachelor holiday a yr, it's like a night out once a wk for 10 yrs, it's not your business what he spent when you weren't together unless you found out it was for illegal activity like drugs, it was his money to do as he pleased with it, if he wanted to waste it he could

I don't think I would have asked about the £30k. But since you did, his defensive reaction would have worried me. It suggested to me that he is embarrassed by what he spent it on....

On the inheritance, I'm interpreting that as he is expecting your joint assets to be split three ways to include his grandson, not just his own assets. I would be interested to know his reaction if you ask what will happen if your daughter has children in the future. In his plan, would the will be re-written to leave them a share. What if your daughter has 2 children? Would it then be a 20% share to each child and grandchild?

It’s not about “getting hold of and having an influence over” their money 🙄. It’s about knowing their attitudes and behaviours towards money, as I said.

Personally I wouldn’t want to be financially tied to someone who thinks that for 20 years an interest-only variable rate mortgage is a good idea, for example.

He bought it 20 years ago it’s likely gone up in value