DH has just revealed that he has nothing to show from 30k inheritance

No that all changed in 2008. They want capital paying off these loans because the increases are no longer guaranteed not that they ever were.

Aren’t most BTL mortgages interest only?

I would add that you should know and understand someone's financial history and attitude to finances before you marry them too!

Even more risky than buying a house together...

From this reply and your previous before that it’s clear you’re not really financially intelligent as you don’t seem to see any issue in having a long term interest only mortgage even after having being given a 30k lump sum.

Buying a house with someone else is one of the biggest financial decisions and risks you take in your life. You should know someone’s financial history and behaviour before doing so and the mysteriously disappearing 30k along side the interest only mortgage and his hostility towards talking about any of this is hugely concerning.

Your attitude of “it’s none of OPs business” is immature and naive.

@DaisyChain505
You do have a flair for drama.
I certainly would not want my husband questioning and critiquing me on how I spent my own money over a decade before I met him.
It is none of his business and the same goes for OP wanting to conduct an HMRC style compliance check on his finances from 2010.
So, I’d like to suggest you modify the ‘full of shit’ and ‘without an ounce of brains’ towards those of us who actually have healthy boundaries when it comes to overly intrusive and obsessive questioning about whether we spent too much of our money on (whatever) in 2010, ten years before we even met our future husband or wife.

? Sorry what? No plans to pay it off? His plan is to sell it and take the equity for another house because he is sick of being a landlord. That is all in the OP.

As for refusing to discuss money sensibly, all he has done is refuse to discuss the details of exactly how he spent a paltry £30k inheritance he received 15yrs ago, 10 years before he even met his wife. Her demands to dig into the details of distant past are what is not sensible.

Anyone saying “it’s none of your business what he did with the money before he met you.” Is full of shit.

You wouldn’t be committing financially to a man yourself if they had a shady past with their finances. Blowing 30k and having nothing to show and not wanting to talk about it coupled with the fact he’s had an interest only mortgage for ages is financial red flags.

Anyone saying it’s none of OPs business or that they wouldn’t care isn’t actually thinking about how they’d legitimately react themselves in the situation.

No woman with an ounce of brains would tie themselves financially to this man without having answers to questions and legal documents drawn up.

I was only trying because you kept replying to my posts but don’t worry I’ve given up now 😄.

Have they been given the new government paperwork?

Okay, don't try, then. Problem solved.

I’ve already said this - an indication of attitudes towards money. I can’t help you any further.

Why does he have to, ffs? It was long before they met. Next, people'll be saying he should admit to how many women he slept with before he got married.

Agree but the issue is they’re talking about where the inheritance of their current combined assets will go, as I understand it. And he wants 2/3 to go to his family. But we don’t know who currently owns the assets in question. The 30k spent inheritance is a completely different issue to the one of how their joint assets will be left in their wills.

I know, but they weren't when he got the £30,000 inheritance. In fact, it was ten years before they met, so how can that be any of her business?

They’re married, so I’m afraid likely everything is a joint asset of the marriage… plus he might own assets by the time he dies!

Maybe he hasn’t spent inheritance and it’s in the bank and he didn’t want to tell OP, then that would be his money to pass on. Any money in his account would be classed as his money, it could be the money from his house sale he’s planning on sharing out. Non of those are OPs business

OP, I don't think you're being unreasonable. This is a red flag as regards finances and his lack of responsibility with money. An interest only mortgage is for idiots, frankly. He's not the only one that's done it but it does mean he's just renting, from the bank rather than a landlord but renting all the same. If he sells it for what he paid for it, you'll be still be out of pocket on the fees. If he sells for less than he paid, you very much are 'cutting your losses'. What was his long term plan for that house assuming it was his main residence? £30k is a sizeable chunk of money, if he won't tell you what he did with it he's pissed it up against a wall. Not a good look. If he already had kids by that stage, (and he clearly did if his son is now an adult and he has a grandson aged 8) he's an irresponsible man. I'd be seeing him in a very different light if it were me. I don't understand why more posters aren't calling him a cock lodger, but it's an inheritance one and normal rules don't apply on here it seems.

None of your business what he spent money on before you were together. Slightly surprised that you are married and - by the sounds of it - don’t have wills? Or at least haven’t talked about what’s in your wills.
If you die tomorrow (god forbid) he will get everything and could leave your DD with nothing in future. If you want to protect t her inheritance you need to put it in writing.

It may not be op’s business but i would certainly be questioning why he felt so strongly about keeping her in the dark.

She has a say if it is her money. She hasn’t made it clear who the assets to be passed on belong to.

3 ways between his adult DS, my teenage DD and his DS’s son (age 8). I said no that’s not right, your grandson will get his inheritance via your son

Who are you to say what someone leaves to another? There’s no wrong or right with inheritance he can do what he pleases. If he had the inheritance before he married you that’s also non of your business

Kinda see your point… he blows £30k doesn’t pass any on to his son or put anything away for him. But you have been frugal and saved for your daughter. Then it comes to inheritance and his son and grandson benefit 2/3 from your frugalness and 0 from his recklessness.

Almost like as he got his inheritance direct from his nan (which he spent) so he should provide the same (from you) for his grandson…

That said… it’s all done now. Personally, if you are in it for long haul and do generally share finances 50/50 your daughter and his son 50/50 or his son+grandson getting 25% each seems fair.

if he generally doesn’t share with you, like he earns more and only does 50/50 on bills, I’d be tempted to leave more like 70% or all my assets to my own daughter.

She has a right when it’s her assets that are being disproportionately split.

Both bonkers. You controlling, him weird.

I wouldn't appreciate my DP telling me something was "none of my business" and stropping off over something minor such as this. I do think that's rude, and actually I do think it's a bit odd that he won't disclose it in conversation at all, though I suspect that is due to how it was approached. None of it comes across as healthy communication.

With that being said. I'd assume he pissed it up the wall in some way and doesn't want to feel judged, or have to explain or defend himself when it doesn't affect you and your opinion on it is likely to be negative. He's not done anything wrong so he doesn't need to confess it to you or explain his rationale. It is what it is, it being so many years ago.

I'd focus more on aligning your opinions on current finances. Given you're so recently married it's a bit odd to not have reached a conclusion on these matters before doing so. He can leave his money to whoever he likes, though I would want a sensible and amicable conversation about what we are both doing. It isn't right to say to someone that their estate planning is 'wrong' because it doesn't mirror your preferences.

When he sells the property he owns, presumably there will some element of profit given it was purchased in 2006? Does he refuse to discuss this element of his finances with you as well, given it is his own property, not yours?