Shocked by DP arranging for a woman to join us in the bedroom

Points for proactivity I suppose 🤣

OP, he is never dropping this. He’s going to chip away at you to make you do this.

leave now. There’s no fixing it.

If you love and respect each other, the last thing you’d want to is share each other. 🙄

Did he go and make a sandwich?

I'm of the opinion that a woman's sexual fantasies are often things she would never actually want to do, but imagining them tips her over into orgasm. Men's fantasies are things they are gagging to do. A wise woman keeps her fantasies to herself.

Not sure why but this just makes it all the worse!

imagine the conversations he must have had with this old colleague...if the fact he wants to have a threesome with a sex-worker doesn't slam your legs shut, surely this does. 😬

He sounds like a charmer alright. Tell him to hold off for a bit, you’re busy looking for another man to join you too. Need to find the perfect bloke. See how that goes down.

I wouldn’t want a creep like this near my kids, whatever age they were - so he wouldn’t be my partner, end of.

I'm going against the grain here. I think you are being unreasonable to blame him for believing that "never say never" was not a green light to further exploration of the subject.

But for him then to suggest the imminent use of a prostitute, as opposed to a romp including the woman next door, is utterly, utterly gross.

200% sounds like he found a prostitute and is passing her off as a swinger or something.

Ynbu. I would say that you have organised a man to come round for dinner to see if he’s a good 3rd person fit and that he has a much bigger package then him, so it might take some practice.

I don't want to appear dramatic OP but is he controlling in any other way? I ask because my xDH behaved similarly with me to participate in his fantasy and I eventually gave in. He was controlling in other ways to to the point I eventually got help form a DV charity. They helped me see that him not dropping was in itself is a form if sexual abuse.

I wish people wpuld stop berating OP for saying 'never say never'. This was part of his manipulation- he badgers her about it constantly, and then brings it up when they're having a nice, fun, tipsy time so that OP is put in the position of being the buzzkill and ruining the evening. I'd put money on it that he gets sulky about being told no and OP knows and dreads it. So she ends up trying to placate him. It's another reason to leave him - this pattern won't stop - but that OP said it is just his browbeating working, not a stupid decision by her.

Just because it's stated on this woman's profile, doesn't make it true! Yes, it very well might be true but actually he, you or his colleague have no idea! Traffickers don't announce a woman has been trafficked on a profile. In fact I'd have thought they'd make out the woman is the exact opposite!

And in the mind of a desperate, sad little tosser, it means he’s finally worn her down.

I’d dump him. Let’s be honest here, he’s brought it up before so he’s probably been looking at the websites and letching over women for a while. Then as soon as he gets a sniff that you’d be up for it, he chooses someone?? Yeah right, he’s had his eye on her for ages.

That would be an instant see you later 👋 from me.

But it opens the door to the possibility.

He's awful.
You should not have said 'never say never' and laughing as you said it did not help. It made him think it was OK. A firm 'no' was the appropriate answer.

As he's still banging on about this after all this time, there is no way he has left this as just a fantasy.

I would be turning everything in his life over to find out the truth looking at his spending at the barest minimum.

This is really grim. I'd end things after this behaviour and you just don't sound well suited

Oh wow jusf seen this, come on girl, just send him a f--k off' text and get on with your instantly better day!

'He said it would be at his expense'. 😄

You are completely right to be mindblown over this. It's horrible and its beyond obvious that you were joking. I can't believe he did that. If you wanted to leave over this and everything it signifies noone would blame you.

You were drunk. That sort of thing needs a very sober conversation before going ahead with anything. What a dickhead he is.

Ha, yes! Totally this.

I went out with someone equally fixated on threesomes when I was much younger. He bored me shitless about them until I couldn’t take it anymore and told him to fuck off.

He once refused to walk to the shop over the road to get me paracetamol when I had a broken wrist as he was “too hot” but man, if I’d had said there and then, “you know what, a threesome sounds great, let’s do it tonight”, he would have been off his arse and trying to find someone like shit off a shovel.

These stupid little men are such a waste of space.

You aren’t sexually compatible.

Also, he’s a fucking dickhead.

Leave him.