AIBU to ask my ex to contribute to school trip costs?

Not if you break down absolutely every cost, no. Look at all the studies that show how much it costs to raise a child to adulthood.

My ex husband pays CMS each month it's around £600 a month based on his earnings. My son (13) has a school trip next year which cost £1200. I have asked ex to pay half as I assumed maintenance didn't cover extras like trips.
He has refused and said it was my choice to go to CMS and I will have to deal with it.

He was offering a private arrangement which was for less than half of what CMS said he should pay so I felt like I had no choice.

I know there is nothing I can do, just wondering if I was being unreasonable asking him for extra for a trip. I'm going to have to struggle to cover it by myself.

Not if you break down absolutely every cost, no. Look at all the studies that show how much it costs to raise a child to adulthood.

https://www.moneysupermarket.com/life-insurance/how-much-it-costs-to-raise-a-child-calculator/

Moneysupermarket suggests more but I suppose it depends on the standard of living you aspire to.

Not if you break down absolutely every cost, no. Look at all the studies that show how much it costs to raise a child to adulthood.

What a nasty man. Can’t be bothered to fund his own child. £1200 isn’t even that much for a school trip at a state school. Our last one was close to £2500 (week skiing). Honestly, he shouldn’t be surprised if his DC want nothing to do with him once they’re older. We give our DC all the opportunities we can and are happy to sacrifice other things to do so. I can’t imagine a decent parent being any other way!

I did ask him before I said yes to the trip. I said have you seen the information about the trip DS would really like to go, are you able to contribute half.

I find it difficult as my DS (13) doesn't see him out of his choice but my other DS (11) does see him and he gets taken on weekends away, holidays etc... feels unfair he can't contribute to something extra for DS1.

CMS is clearly not half the cost of raising a child. It’s pitiful! So no, he may part fund his child, but he’s clearly not pulling his weight when it comes to raising his child. A contribution to a school trip is the bare minimum I’d expect if I was getting a paltry £600/month! Plus, he can’t be that hard up if he’s funding trips away for his younger child. Raise your bar! Pathetic sperm-donor-only dads who opt out of the bare minimum should not be defended!

CMS is clearly not half the cost of raising a child. It’s pitiful! So no, he may part fund his child, but he’s clearly not pulling his weight when it comes to raising his child. A contribution to a school trip is the bare minimum I’d expect if I was getting a paltry £600/month! Plus, he can’t be that hard up if he’s funding trips away for his younger child. Raise your bar! Pathetic sperm-donor-only dads who opt out of the bare minimum should not be defended!

What a short sighted opinion. He does fund his child every month with CMS. You can’t say he’s nasty or cba to fund his child just because he isn’t paying £600 towards a trip. You don’t know his finances, maybe he can’t actually afford it! Great for you that you’re such an amazing parent you sacrifice so your child can have ridiculously expensive trips, maybe his dad isn’t in a position to do that.

What a nasty man. Can’t be bothered to fund his own child. £1200 isn’t even that much for a school trip at a state school. Our last one was close to £2500 (week skiing). Honestly, he shouldn’t be surprised if his DC want nothing to do with him once they’re older. We give our DC all the opportunities we can and are happy to sacrifice other things to do so. I can’t imagine a decent parent being any other way!

Why not? Noone forced you to read or comment🤷‍♀️

Probably for the same reason most people do, they want to hear other people's opinions about whether they, or others, are being reasonable or not.

You asked, he said no, apparently you don't expect anything.... so why make a whole MN post weeks later?

You asked, he said no, apparently you don't expect anything.... so why make a whole MN post weeks later?

so the 13 year old refuses to visit his father but you expected him to spend an extra £600? If someone wanted £600 out of me the least I would expect is that person to ask in person!

Shit Dad who is financially abusive to his son because son doesn't want to see him, probably because he's a shit Dad.

Why do you expect a shit Dad to suddenly stop being a shit Dad?

Thanks for all the responses, some various opinions.

There are reasons why DS doesn't see his Dad he has been aggressive while he was in his care and has said some awful things to him. I was emotionally abused by him for years. We have CAFCASS recommendations that contact with his dad is harming rather than benefiting at the moment. Other DS has different experience of his dad. It's very complex.

In terms of the trips, yes it's an optional nice to have trip. I asked his dad a few weeks ago, he said no. I thought about it and figured out a way I could afford it on my own and then booked - I don't expect anything from him after he said no.

He earns upwards of 80k a year and doesn't appear to be struggling for money. I guess I had hoped he would have been able to contribute towards his son having an experience like this.