To think extreme weight loss is not taken as seriously in overweight people

To be fair OP your initial post did come across kind of like you didn't think she deserves the praise for managing to lose a lot of weight. Correctly you've further pointed out that she isn't doing it in a very healthy or safe way and she needs medical help for her to lose weight and still be well and healthy. My weight isn't the best either but it is better than what it was. At my heaviest 5 years ago I was very close to 22 stone and edging into size 26 clothes. For me being under 5ft tall that was definitely not a healthy weight. My marriage ended brutally and I was hugely depressed and not eating properly. Within 8 months of splitting from my now ex husband I had dropped to 13 stone. Whilst I felt a lot better and my mobility has massively improved I know now that I didn't lose weight by any major lifestyle changes or changes in my eating habits and if I'd carried on dropping weight the way it dropped off for me I'd probably be dangerously ill by now. I'm now at a size 18 in clothes so I'm still overweight but I also know that starving myself isn't the way to go about losing more weight. Hopefully your friend can get the help she needs to lose and maintain a healthy weight

This is totally bizarre. OP isn't commenting on the weight loss as much as how it's being achieved... (and it's not a problem or judgement - it's a concern).

Why is someone asking why OP was concerned with the loss of weight and not the gain of weight?!?!? Or accusing people of not realising that being overweight can be a sign of an ED too. Did OP say in her post that she didn't have a concern about her friend gaining weight? Is it not possible to be concerned about both but just comment on the current problem?! Have I missed the comments that say this?!

The fact that most people here are cheering on the fizzy drinks diet is quite frankly alarming. It's not the calorie deficit she's putting herself through, it's the fact that she's not eating and powering herself on energy drinks (with a bit of chicken and apple thrown in occasionally). How are people saying that this isn't an eating disorder simply because she needs a deficit to lose weight? Again, she's living off energy drinks!

Also, what's with the multiple ridiculous comments like "obviously it's unhealthy for underweight people to lose weight" - the comment was made about people showing more concern for a "smaller person" following the same diet (the "smaller" person might be at the high end of normal or even marginally obese). This diet wouldn't be good for anyone, regardless of size.

These responses just highlight the problem OP is having. How can she show concern and try to help her friend towards healthier choices if seemingly most people are calling her out as jealous and judgemental and telling her friend she's "doing a good job"?!? OP, I really feel for you. You are in a difficult position and clearly have your answer. Obviously most people (on mumsnet anyway) do think that obese people should focus on losing weight over healthy choices. Clearly only people of a certain size deserve to be encouraged to think about a healthy diet 🙄.

Loads of vitamins in meat

it is such a weird attitude “yeah she got an eating disorder but at least she’s thin”

surely what actually matters is the severity of the eating disorder, which you can’t tell by looking at someone

.

But I think it must still be better to be a healthy weight with an ED than obese with an ED. At least in terms of the damage visceral fat causes and the pressure on your joints. Neither is good of course and treating the ED would have been better, but in terms of choosing between two evils...

OP you are correct it can be dangerous, people can die from effectively starvation whilst still technically overweight if they have a lot to lose. I think something about the body essentially digesting itself and particularly the walls of the heart can thin and lead to a heart attack - it is an issue but provided her calories aren’t too low it is, as you say, probably more of a vitamin deficiency risk than anything more serious.

You can’t possibly know she’s better off. You have no way of knowing whether she would’ve developed any condition that obesity puts you at higher risk of.

Yes I know. I said so on the previous page. Still, people saying she’s better off aren’t acknowledging that

Someone at 24 stone is very likely to aldready have an eating disorder. You don't get to that weight by having a healthy relationship to food.

The thing is, she is still better off in many respects.
Shes just swapping one disordered way of eating for an also damaging, but different way.
Whilst shes at the mid point- and struggling with vitamin deficiencies (probably) constipation, hair loss and skin issues, those issues would have been hypertension, type 2 diabetes, breathing issues- these issues are more serious than what she was dealing with.
However, yes i agree, she needs to get ahead of the issues but she has some time to do so whilst she continues to lose weight.

The eating disorder service can help, however most areas have a very long waiting list. Many people with EDs swing from one end of the scale to the other and back again.

The OP had no right to moan at another poster when she couldn't be arsed to include a few more words in her opening post.

It was obvious the posters friend had an eating disorder from the first post, the drip feed didn’t change that

So maybe don't drip-feed.

I’m surprised by the comments here. Yes, it is a concern. Living off chicken, apples and energy drinks is not nourishing her. She needs nutrition. Just being in a calorie deficit isn’t healthy. You could eat one Twix a day and be in a calorie deficit and lose weight, but you are going to become very unwell.

It’s natural to be concerned about your friend, could you tell her you are worried?

Well done to your friend.

i can’t believe people are so dumb that they think it’s better to have an eating disorder and lose weight than it is not to have one.

How can you possibly know that? Just because a person is over weight doesn't mean they aren't struggling. You've no idea what's going on in her mind. I have permanently damaged my body through what I did in my teens and early 20s, I'm still suffering the effects now at 40 years old. All of it could have been avoided if I'd have had access to help earlier, I tried and was brushed off and left to spiral.

Sounds like she's killing it. Hardly at risk of dropping dead at 16 stone!

Eating only chicken and apples or fizzy energy drinks certainly isn’t a balanced diet!

👏

I lost significant weight through diet/extreme exercise then through a gastric bypass. Nobody bar my dm was worried. I was very overweight, almost 24st. People have just been happy for me. I’d say pretty much everyone who’s significantly overweight-I don’t mean putting on a few stones over the years/menopause/baby weight-has an eating disorder. On my gastric surgery groups, people frequently talk about addiction transfer and have developed alcohol dependency or are obsessive about weighing themselves.

Given the extremely restrictive nature of what your friend is eating, I’d say she might benefit from some kind of therapy, it certainly isn’t healthy. I had a pretty restrictive but balanced diet when I lost weight ‘naturally’, but nothing that extreme. I hope she is taking a broad vitamin and other supplements: I was told to take copper, calcium, vitamin D as well due to absorption issues but your friend’s limited diet probably means she needs more.

Trouble is, the comments from those noticing the weight loss will be her new endorphin and being able to buy clothes in any shop, plus how great she probably feels with less weight on her will mean she won’t stop. Without surgery, she will easily be able to put weight back on and she knows this so she’ll probably not want to change anything.

It’s not an eating disorder. An obese person eating a low calorie diet to lose weight isn’t an ED.

Well if she was thin to start with then losing that much weight would be dangerous.

It's true rapid weight loss isn't great but it's not life threatening unless you get to below a certain BMI.