What number?

Dishonour your husband by spending money? Strange!

Probably £500 or more.

joint account

Ignoring the complete tangent the thread went off into, and returning to the original question, the 'number' or figure' would totally depend on what stage of life your were at or where you were financially.

I totally agree with this.

About 20 years ago we would have to ask each other if it was OK to do the grocery shopping that day or do we have to leave it until some money came in we were that skint. Both of us working, neither of us spend thifts but the financial crisis hit dhs buisness hard.
However with a change of fortune, mortgage paid off , kids left home and dh's business becoming successful again and I'm still working, life is easier.

Go back to work? Well if they’re young you can go back when they’re older. If you want to.

Seems reasonable. Though again all your examples in the thread - 100k car, 1k coat, 10k-+ watch - cement why you’re so keen on the ‘financial protection’ of marriage.

Bit Stepford wife for me, a man putting clothes on my back, but it works for you that’s great.

I (being bold here!!) wonder if non-married couples have a problem with marriage - possibly that they think people who are married think they're better than them - for whatever reason - which is why they're bashing you op. Even though you actually aren't bashing at all and I completely empathise. I understand what you're saying about marriage being more financially secure.
Correlation doesn't equal causation, but I'm intrigued that there may well be a correlation between spending habits and marriage... Because people who are married may be statistically more likely to share all that they have ("all that I am I give to you and all that I have I share with you" etc) ... Because of the nature of what marriage means... A union... A mutual trust and respect, where you've promised to honour the other person. The putting of someone else before yourself and being one etc etc.
Why would I as a married person want to dishonour my husband by spending all our money and why would my husband do that to me? Or why would I want to waste our money so we had hardship and couldn't afford what we needed. And vice versa. Therefore we have mutual respect with our shared assets because we have grown together in value and are doing this life together. My dh and I have surpassed the average at which married couples divorce. So it encourages me that we are grown together in union and therefore in spending habits.

This is just my ramblings !! Thanks for the thoughts op.

We have a joint spending account, I’ve gone to Tesco before scanned it all through £98 💀 I called him to explain, he didn’t care but I felt that was a bit much in one go, I’ll usually call and say hey I need to get xy&z itll probably be about £60 he never cared but I’ve been finally abused in the past so I check if it’s over £40/£50

if also depends where we are in the month, if it’s the day before payday it’s essentials only 🤣

Not really. If I was the sole breadwinner I wouldn’t be consulting. If the money was available I’d just buy it.

So I’m curious, you say to others you think respectful to consult before making purchases with joint money, so as a comparison how much would you spend without asking, and what kinds of child related decisions would you make without asking?

I wouldnt consult him on any spending or expect him to consult me. We each put money into a joint account for bills petrol food shop holidays and extras and the rest is our own

Hes spend thousands on golf clubs. Nothing to do with me!! I might spend ££££ on a girls trip/holiday a handbag... again nothing to do with him!!

We earn our own money and as long as hes paid his half to the bills then he doesnt need to tell me what hes spending on what.

Married for years, I might tell him if I was thinking of buying something for a few grand but apart from that no, we have separate accounts, he sends me ££££ every month to put in savings that are in my name only.
He and I trust each other!
The only time we really consult each other about money is for a budget figure when buying a car or looking at more than 7/8 grand holidays, buying a house., big stuff
I know what he earns as he tells me and shows me his bank statement every month ( he is ND as am I but different) I never show him mine and I don't think he has a clue what I earn.
No debt, happy this way.

Do you consult him on every decision to do with your children, or is there a threshold for that?

Never going to happen in this house. I earned more than him.

Apart from 'I really fancy a bar of chocolate' ... I'd buy that without asking 😂 infact, I did that today 😆

Lol, it's an interesting question OP! I'm curious, what makes you ask?

Me too. And to the post which followed this one I AM a wife!

this isn't about who earns the money.

Of course it is. I don’t consult anyone about how I spend my money - nor should I. It’s mine.

Of course you wouldn’t expect that, it’s obvious that you think these things should be done in consultation. As the sole earner, he may not agree.