What number?

It's not meaningless at all. I personally would find it incredibly bizarre to have a partner who thought they had any say over what I was allowed to spend my money on. I mean, if DH ever asked me if he was allowed to buy X I'd think he'd lost the bloody plot.

They discuss and decide as a partnership for both sides. Seeing that as "tell me I couldn't spend my own money" means you aren't capable of that kind of adult partnership and relationship, which is fair enough you can find your own partner who wants the same thing instead and have that kind. But it's meaningless as a comment on a relationship using that very system. What is anyone supposed to take from it?

I genuinely can't imagine letting my DH tell me I couldn't spend my own money on something I wanted.

Another benefit of marriage that surprised me is that I get more than £2k a year extra on my state pension as a widow.

Then we'd talk about it and decide what to do, together. I can't think of any examples that he's declined... we are pretty aligned with our wants and values, so we don't really have this issue. Dh lets me do the hobbies that I want and vice versa for him... It's just courtesy to not go behind someone's back and buy stuff, when you share all that you have.

Not in any relevant way. You have extra rights when the other cant do something for themselves, but have zero extra rights or anything legal with them over what a partner does for this conversation.

You keep talking about huge sums of money. We don't have money like that to spend and we know each other well enough to know neither of us will get in debt.
But if I want some earrings I buy them he probably wouldn't even notice. If he wants a new watch he would buy one if I need a new mobile phone I get one. Neither of us need to know how much each other spends on personal items.
We have been married over 40; years we have had plenty of disagreements over the years but never any about money. So our approach works.

That sounds tough, and yes 40 years in you’re probably over the risky period! I tend to think things are more likely to work out in the modest financial set ups, like me and most of my friends grew up in. The disasters I’ve seen are those where men have lots of money, the wives splash the cash and a strange dependency builds up that isn’t really a family/partnership anymore. Obviously that’s only what I’ve seen, but money does funny things to men sometimes.

You keep repeating the same thing over and over and not once have you said what you mean in any logical way. Honestly, OP…. Admit that your ‘legal’ argument has no legs in this scenario!

Ha! I too have dishonourable botox twice a year too! And I buy hell of a lot of disrespectful Kerastase!

I think a thread of how we have all been dishonouring and disrespecting our spouses over the decades would be far more entertaining and amusing than the circular nonsense of the OP

I regularly dishonour mine by having my hair cut and coloured at about £200 a time. And occasional botox and facials, which he doesn't need to know about. He dishonours me by buying cases of fine wines to lay down in storage for later, but I occasionally find an invoice for sitting around.

It's differed based on the fact that people and relationships, including marriages, are different.

We have a general idea and a general idea of what each other earn. Nothing’s secret as such.

I spent £700 recently without discussing it first, but it was my money so of no real concern to anyone else.

If it was a joint account purchase I’d probably mention anything over £200 ish, but only in case he also splurged on something and we needed to top that account up.

I'm guessing she wouldn't get it, but her husband's honour would be intact so that's ok.

I've found this a really interesting thread, different ways couples organise their spending - the kind of thing you'd rarely discuss with friends IRL unless you were super-close to them - the shamelessly nosy part of me has had a ball - thanks for starting it, @coulditbeme2323

It’s exactly the same to me 😌

What would happen if you wanted something your DH was "uncomfortable" with?

It isn't behind his back. My original reply was that personally dh and I don't bother checking unless it's a 'want purchase'. We trust each other to buy whatever we need without asking.
I'm saying that it would be dishonouring to intentionally make purchases that you know the other person may not be comfortable with, without consulting them first. You took one sentence out of my whole post. It was meant to be read within the spirit of the entire post.

Eh why would it be behind his back? The question was about checking with your spouse before making a large purchase. Some people spend freely without ‘checking’ first, that doesn’t mean it is behind someone’s back…

Also I suspect we all have different interpretations of ‘financially irresponsible’

Why? Im marire d and we have separate bank accounts and dont ask each other what we spend the money on- there is a shared pool for mortgage, childcare, food, and the rest we spend however we want.

I’ve dishonoured my husband today by putting a 200 quid deposit down on my leg tattoo for June out of my hard earned money. I haven’t told him. He dishonours me every year by spending on a fortune on season tickets for his football club. It’s his money.

We’ve been dishonouring each other in this way for 24 years now.

I think several people have explained, checking in with your spouse isn't (for many of us) about seeking anyone's "blessing", it is about ensuring the money is there for essentials first, and not taken up by either partner spending on a whim.
If you are blessed with enough money not to have to do that, you are in a more privileged position than most. For most of our lives, if either of us bought tickets to a gig, let alone a holiday, without planning, then there wouldn't be enough left in the bank for the water rates or utility bills or mortgage.

Absolute nonsense

Dishonour him by spending behind his back or spending to the extent that it was financially irresponsible... Yes, it would be disrespectful.