AIBU to just block... or mention the unpaid debt first?

@neoneo definitely call her out about the money she owes. There's nothing to lose doing that. Tell her you won't be giving anymore money. Also warn anyone else she may ask for money then it's their choice if they still want to give her money.

Just tell her it’s not okay to ask for money, not pay it back, then ask for more money. No need to block, I doubt you’ll hear from her again anyway.

Tell her you won't be lending any more money and you want the £900 back. Also tell the entire family and tell her you're doing so.

Option B. Ask for the money back and don't lend more.

We had the same problem in our family. I just ignored communication with them.

It's not fraud or a scam, uts a request for money which was given. Nothing to do with the police. Its a civil matter.

You can warn the rest of the family without saying specifics, so “Dear Fam, it pains me to need to warn everyone that someone in this group is badgering me plus at least one other person for money. I don’t want to embarass them but do not give money unless you accept it as a voluntary mugging. I am willing to share details to prove this is true, but am hoping this is sufficient to put an end to this situation.”

No, it's not worth blocking over. Blocking is pathetic and childish. Go with option b and send her a message.

Definitely don’t lend again though. She’s had her chance to pay it back as a relative and she messed that up by not paying. I would be tempted to tell wider family but only if it doesn’t upset/cause embarrassment particularly to older family members who may have health concerns.

As others have suggested, sometimes relatives abroad in certain countries think that we have an endless money supply.

I helped out various relatives at various points when their country was in crisis, but even so I do feel a bit taken advantage of.

Last time I went for a visit (for a family wedding) I realised that the various branches of the family are no longer in touch with one another.

I'm okay financially, but by no means wealthy - I could have done with keeping the money that I (freely) gave to myself: my living room still has the 1970s, carpet that was here when I moved in 40+ yrs ago. Ditto the stairs and landing. I think that the upstairs bedroom carpets are from the '80s and I have other work that I need to do on the house.

My own fault...I felt guilty that I was doing okay over here and that they were living in a country which was going through various spells of turbulence, to say the least. (I was born in the UK to a Scottish mother, but Dad came from another country.)

Anyway, when I went over, it dawned on me that one cousin has a house in town and the family farmhouse (and farm) in the country; another has been able to afford holidays in the states...

I should have realised, given the behaviour of the previous generation and I've since realised that I've been kept in the dark about certain family inheritances. (That's probably why there's been in a rift in the family over there.) Guess I'm naive.

You can try mentioning the debt, @neoneo , but I suspect that your family just sees you as a money tree.

ETA

Thinking about it, there were times that I was asked for money and times I gave it freely out of guilt. All together, it must amount to a few thousand - I helped to put family members through university as well as sending money when a cousin phoned to say that she was in trouble over a debt. (I suspect that her husband gambled.)

How would the legal proceedings work if they live abroad? The lendee.

I would respond saying she still owes you 900 and when would she be repaying that (knowing she won't)

Then make sure the rest of your family knows what shes doing

I think Coolwind's option C is a fair reply.

I would just send something along the lines of: That reminds me, you still owe me repayment of £900 for last years loan. When can I expect to receive it?

Option B - but would also add we don’t have the money to spare

If you've written off the £900 then option A.
You know you are never getting the cash back so 🤷‍♀️

I would block her but tell her why. I would also warn any other relatives you think she might target.

I’d tell I was starting legal proceedings to recover the £900 loan, and that I would be flagging up her grifting to the family at large.

B and never ‘lend’ her any more money!

If you aren't interested in pursuing the £900 or having a conversation around that then its pointless bringing stress to your door.

So block.

Definitely remind her of her debt.

I’d do option B btw.

Why are you giving an amount of £50 as you do?

Why send £900 to someone who’s a distant relative? Even if they promise to pay it back?

This does sound like someone not originally from UK with the sending money and expectation to help. Reminds me of a close Nigerian friend living in London who often asked me for £250 loans, paid back, when she got short of money. She sent money home too. She targeted me as she knew I had money to lend her.

This sounds like the family arent in britain? Are they in a poorer country, where the custom is that relatives in the west help those 'back home?'

Anyway, shes taking the piss out of you and i'd tell her to get to fuck! I wouldnt be nice about it, i'd tell her that you will tell everyone about her ways and that she will never hear from you again.