How many people have you slept with?

Somewhere between 20 and 30, but I’m past 60 so would have to make a list
Quite happy with my life and past decisions - these days im more into friends than relationships

Sleeping with people is only natural if your happy about it and you get on then its ok.
Im not sure how many people i have slept with but most have been really lovely people where ive just been caught in the moment. Either way ive no regrets, if your phyically attracted then why not.

Really? Never thought of that, it’s a bit weird

Only 2.
Ex dh.....married 17 years
Dh..........married 22 years

They want to think about other men instead of focusing on the woman in front of their eyes

In my experience, some men get off on hearing about previous partners, rather than being jealous.

12 or 13? Honestly, I’m not even sure. I’d have to sit and think about it. I know mine is about twice dh’s number and I think his was 6, but can’t remember if the twice included him or not. 😂 Nope, would never occur to me to lie about it. I mean, it’s not like anyone asks anymore. I probably wouldn’t shout from the rooftops who some of them were because definitely my standards are higher now than they were 30 years ago.

Sorry this happened. So wrong! I feel for you. ❤️

I had a horrible childhood, and ended up with a variety of horrible men: one was much older than me and knew I had nobody. My family didn't care. I was working in nightclubs, life was chaotic. I thought he was my boyfriend until it was too late.

Took me a long time to get away.

Apologies if the thread has discussed this already and I missed it, but how are we defining full sex, if it's women? My best friend and I had a debate about this recently when we were comparing body counts (I'm bi).

For men I would think (rightly or wrongly) that it needs to be PIV to count as sex.

Oral with women? Or is touching enough?

Either way, I don't actually know mine. I'd estimate about 50, but when I just say down to count, I only got to 37! Entirely possible I missed a few though.

I'm gonna estimate 40-50. No shame about it. I'm 47, I've enjoyed a full and active sex life. Had a few LTRs and was always busy in the in-between times!

There are a couple of incidents I regret within that, but not too many!

I don't make a point of discussing it with partners, but will be honest if it arises, and only one partner judged me - my 4th LTR - I was about 40 and he was late 50s and had only slept with 3 (me being the third). I don't think he ever forgave me for that!

There is a lot of misogyny, double standards and hypocrisy on this thread, which is sad in 2026. Add to that the use of language, even though it’s in common use; why cant we say “had sex with” rather than “slept with”. I’ve had sex with people I’ve never slept with. Why use the term “lost virginity”; l didn’t lose anything for goodness sake.

l’ve no idea of the exact number; l never thought of having a velvet covered visitor’s book in my bedroom. I’m happily well into double figures and no regrets, but if l did know the figure it is nothing to do with anyone else.

i am more bemused by those who say “one”, l could only say that for a few days. Once l got started, within the first week l wanted to know what someone else felt like.

Why should they know? Anything that happens before you meet is irrelevant.

10, I’m 40. Most of them were in my late teens early 20s.

I estimate my total was about 35, (including a few one night stands) lost my virginity at 16 and was very active between the ages of 19 and 22 especially, but then met my husband and that was 30+ years ago. I told him my history. I don't discuss the number with anyone but if it crops up I do say I got around a bit 😂

I posted early on on this thread.

The number has increased significantly since then.

Obvs
😎

Absolutely! I was also DH first. We like it this way. We see nothing wrong with it.

I always remember in school, other girls would ask why I would want to be in a relationship when I could sleep with lots of people because if I didn't I would never know what I would like sexually! Looking back, it shocks me girls were talking like that at under 16 and thats 20 plus years ago.

Your dammed if you sleep with 1 and dammed if you sleep with "too many".

Genuinely no idea. Not less than 10, and I don’t think more that 25. Zero interest in going through my memory to count them up. I used to know but have long since forgotten. Can’t remember if I ever told DH, my number was higher than his, and he knows that. In my 50s and married for 20 years, so it’s a lifetime ago. Was never embarrassed and it was the 90s…

The only way men could guarantee women weren't talking about their bodies or women could guarantee men weren't talking about their bodies would be to never go out anywhere, ever, let alone have sex with anyone.
Some people just have no class, but I don't see that as a good reason to live like a maiden aunt.

And if anyone asked me, id openly tell them. I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Im 41.

Ive slept with about 35 people.

Crikey! Think you always have to think that everyone has agency.
Coming to terms with some events is such a struggle. Not like we can just edit or delete.

Not that its any excuse but I was drunk when we slept together. Had I been sober, it never would've happened.

Our whole friend group knew he was off, he never exactly hid it per se but it was still a surprise to find out he did it - all because she was pregnant.
It actually gets worse than that but I cant say why because it would be quite outing as it made the news so would be an easy google search.

He and I grew up together so I've struggled to come to terms with who he became as opposed to who I rode bikes and played football with.

I'm sorry if this has hit a nerve. Some people can happily have ONS but I've still got this romanticised idea of a happily ever after - contrasted with the idea all men are potential serial killers!
I think I need to accept the reality of whats available and not worry too much.
Its difficult being older and single, life is designed for couples unless you're financially solvent.And I'm not !
In my experiences historic abuse messes with teen years when women are consolidating education and careers.
I did go back and get my education but by then life had happened and finding time to work on myself and commit to a new relationship has somewhat passed.
If ONS works for you then thats great!

I am exactly the same. At the beginning of a relationship I'm hyper sexual and 'too much', then most of my relationshios end when I can no longer bear to be touched by them. I always found ONS easier because it seems to me the problem is caused when emotions and sex go together, like I had to separate them as a child and now as an adult I can't join them back up. I've had so much therapy, but it never changed.

Its so damaging, hard to to frame sexual encounters in relation to it. I've tried - believe me!
I'm too full on, no boundaries, great for most men but ultimately makes me d*e a little inside and the respect goes.
I dont know how to behave with men its either full on or sexless and distant.
I'm happy to sit this one out now. Love to see loved up couples but it really isn't for me.
Maybe if the right man comes along but can't see it .