To be a bit upset about this at a toddler session?

The whole situation makes me concerned that the leader/teacher has not done proper safeguarding training.

I personally would not have asked but I would have kept my eyes on the door waiting for the parent’s return. Then when she did not appear I would have popped out to look. If you take money to run a class then this is the level of responsibility taken on.

The leader is there to facilitate the activities, not babysit the children or the parents. You also said that the other parents were twats for not knowing that OP had left the room, surely it's not their resposibility to keep track of the other parents too?

I think we will just have to agree to disagree. You think the leader is responsible for knowing what everyone in the room were doing, I don't in this situation because all the children had a parent there.

So if a parent leaves the room she has to ask them why, then give it a certain amount of time and go looking for them?

That's different because the teacher is responsible for the child. In this scenario, the OP was responsible for the child. The OP left the child and didn't tell anyone. Even though she didn't know she'd be that long, it is still odd that a parent did not tell anyone she was leaving her child alone. It only takes a second for something to go wrong.

I suspect in a few days the OP will realise that this ridiculously excessive response is actually shock related to the fact she left her child unattended rather than a door locking and that she's not 'valued'. (Or at least that's what we have to hope from a responsible parent!).

The job of a teacher is to run the room and to notice EVERYTHING. The person running the room has to be hyper vigilant.

A teacher runs the room. Your example is where you are just a passerby. This woman is being paid to run a class, so the wellbeing of the participants are her responsibility.

It completely makes sense that you would be upset about this if you think about it in terms of your nervous system, it’s just biological. We are social animals and we are primed to get distressed when we are separated from our young ones, especially if we know that they may also be distressed. We also need to fill valued and cherished as part of our social groups. I suspect this has touched something quite deep in you OP. I wouldn’t stop going if it’s otherwise good but definitely say something about the door.

In that case the teacher is the responisble adult, in this case the children had their parents with them and they were each responsible for looking after their own child.

Even if the teacher in your example missed that a child walked out of the classroom because they were writing something on the board or whatever, that doesn't make the teacher a twat. It's just one of those things that can happen because they are human and sometimes have to take their eyes off of the children. We don't need to call people names and place blame every time something unfortunate happens. It's easy to do because for OP, it makes herself feel a bit less guilty when she can place the blame with someone else. OP should have told someone she was just going out to get a tissue, but she didn't.

What a silly thing to say, it’s the teachers job to ensure the children don’t do that, it is not the leaders job to watch the parents, nor is it anyone’s job to be looking out for people falling behind them, how odd of you.

Just to offer a different perspective op, I organise and run groups and you often don’t notice things because you are so preoccupied with everything going smoothly and going through the motions and in your head about what you’re doing and what comes next. Even more so if you’re in a new unfamiliar venue. So I wouldn’t be too hard on the leader - she had her own shit going on.

It all sounds awful but sometimes shit happens, and thankfully no harm was done. One day when your child is a teenager this will all be a distant memory and a funny story about when mum got locked out of the toddler group.

The leader probably thought you'd asked another parent to watch your DC whilst you stepped out. That's how it worked at groups I went to if a parent popped to the toilet or needed to take a call.

So if a primary school teacher doesn’t see a child quietly leave their classroom because they happen at that moment to be focused elsewhere, it is not their responsibility to know a child is missing? Of course it is. Like this group leader should be aware of the mums and toddlers attending their class.

Your ‘trips up behind me’ analogy is way off in this case.

So if a primary school teacher doesn’t see a child quietly leave their classroom because they happen at that moment to be focused elsewhere, it is not their responsibility to know a child is missing? Of course they it is. Like this group leader should be aware of the mums and toddlers attending their class.

Your ‘trips up behind me’ analogy is way off in this case.

I really agree with all of this!
The leader had no idea what you were doing. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t value her customers. Taking it VERY personally.

@myfavouritedinosaur I thought you said it wasn’t stay and play? So was it just a drop-off session?

@likeafishneedsabike How can you be a twat for not noticing something? If somebody behind me falls over and hurts themselves but I don't notice and carry on walking am I a twat? No, because we can't be held responsible for things we don't know is happening. This was just one of these things that happens due to poor communication and unlucky circumstances.

Well, these responses are peak mumsnet bat shittery. Obsessing about viral particles on a tissue is so off topic. And it’s not crime of the century to forget tissues and pop to the loo for some paper.
OP, the leader of this class is an absolute twat. She is the teacher and it’s a teacher’s job to be hyper vigilant of the comings and goings of a class. And yes, she should definitely thank you for coming - your attendance is helping her make her living! She’s right up her own arse.
Don’t go back. The other mums are also twats for not noticing your absence. It’s takes a village to raise a child. Any normal human would notice a 2 year old on her own and act accordingly.

From the leader's point of view you left the room for 15 minutes and you left your child unattended. You didn't say you were going, you also didn't say anything when you came back. From her perspective you probably looked like you took your sweet time going to the loo by yourself whilst your child was left on their own. I don't think it's fair for you to pin this all on the leader and say that they don't value their customers. You are taking it all way too personally.

Send the group leader a polite email to explain what happened. It might happen to other mums

Yes or bin of course. Calm down.

Washing your hands after wiping her nose surely? If you had taken her with you the whole task could have been completed in the bathroom. Instead you left your child unattended (clearly not the same as a house as this had a big self locking door between you) and wiped her nose in the the class leaving you with a dirty tissue and a germy hands. I feel I've explained plenty of times now and you're probably on the wind up!

You're not 'valued'. 🤣 Wow. You're not there to be valued. What is wrong with young people today? You need to grow up, get some resilience and stop being so entitled. I cannot believe you're considering pulling your child out of this because you didn't feel valued. Your poor child. Not everything is about you. Put your child first (and find a sense of humour whilst you're at it).

And by the way, I don't disagree that the door locking behind you is something that needs highlighting with some signage. It does. But your reaction is so ridiculous that it takes away from the actual intelligent response to this which is to suggest they put a sign up.