AIBU to say no to hosting 12 family members in October?

I've re read this thread and I can't see that it's Canadian Thanksgiving?🤔

I'm assuming having a small kitchen and living room means you don't have a 12 seater table😂 I'm assuming when you say small you mean small and just because someone can fit 50 people into their home, you actually can't. I've an average size house not huge but 12 in my living room would be crammed, am thinking a few mansions are being lived in here.

As some have suggested a buffet is the only way to go, when we have parties we move furniture and everyone is happy to eat off their laps, the ones who moan get a corner of the table.

Our home is small but we have regularly hosted 12 for Christmas, Burns Night and the like. We have beer garden furniture (a table and 2 benches) which we put up against our dining table in a T shape. Me seated nearest to the kitchen, DP seated near the back door to take care of drinks (we keep these outside, in a bucket of ice if weather is warm). Starters and desserts are cold dishes that can be made in advance, only the main needs heating. Sometimes a buffet instead with salads, pizzas, pot of chili or stew, ready made desserts. Extra chairs, cutlery, crockery can be borrowed. Offers of help always accepted.

It's crammed and chaos but fun! We hosted an Oktoberfest once with chickens roasting in the oven, potato salad to accompany, Bavarian cold cuts as a starter with bread and pretzels, bought apple strudel as dessert. Room decorated with Bavarian flags and bunting. Was a great time.

Most people don't have a table to seat 12. In a tiny house I don't think I would want to be buying an extra temp table to store either.

But she is likely to be able to seat at least 4 on sofas and at least 4 round some sort of table and no one will mind bringing a few extra forks or plates if she doesn't want to buy disposables, or bring camping chairs.

Op could cook and clear up. Surely they would prefer that to being squashed?

People are suggesting that the kids sit at the table and the adults eat from their lap, maybe she doesn't have a table and not enough seating for all adults.

Put a large table in the living room to seat 12 - again, maybe her living room wouldn't fit a table big enough for 12 (my last house wouldn't) and even if it did, where would you get the large table and 12 chairs from?

I have lived in a tiny house in the past and certainly woudn't have been able to host 12. My house is bigger now so room may not be so much of an an issue but having enough crockery/cutlery/chairs certainly would!

It might help if the OP came back and advised exactly what the occasion is.

That's not fair on whoever's house they use though. They would still have to do all the cleaning and prepping beforehand. And if the OP is as cheeky as she seems, dodging her turn over the years, probably end up getting caught for the washing up as well!

I don't think it's crazy to expect the OP to host once when it sounds like she has enjoyed eating at other peoples homes multiple times.

Cooking at someone else's house is an option but I think it'd be more hassle than it's worth. OP has a living room, 12 people isn't that many.

Don't get a tent. It'll be cold and miserable,

Do a buffet or put a large table in the living room to seat 12.

Canadian Thanksgiving?

It's doable inside. Borrow crockery and folding chairs. We did 10 in a one room bedsit, so I'm sure your living room will cope!

We have a large, fold up plastic table. It is set up as a buffet table for occasions like yours, and then gets folded away to make more space after lunch.

Just do it inside Op. It will be cosy, but after all they have insisted, and 12 isn't impossible, even in a small room. We used to squeeze about 15 of us into tiny student accommodation rooms and had fun. Keep it cheerful and don't get too stressed over the details.

How many kids? They can sit at the table, adults on seats in living room. Just need enough seating.

12 for a meal fine!! 12 to sleep over…no

Just 12 in total or 12 plus the people who already live in your house? 12 doesn’t seem outrageous when you have 2 rooms. I would borrow/buy/hire a trestle table and ask people to bring extra chairs (and possibly plates etc) and sit at the table. 12 crammed on a 2-seater sofa eating of laps isn’t ideal.

I regularly have 12 people sitting in my living room, I can sit 5 on the settees and the rest sit on dining and kitchen chairs that I bring in. I serve a buffet style meal in the kitchen and people go and help themselves then go back to sit down. I have a couple of folding garden type chairs as extras. Yes it’s rather crowded but fine for a discussion type meeting. In a more social setting, I find visitors sometimes stand up in the hall or kitchen for a chat.

Yes it’s crowded and ideally I’d prefer fewer people but once in a while it’s fine.

I had 24- which includes some young kids the other day.

Luckily not squashed in the same room.for the whole time.

But for food. Have you considered a cloth/ mat on the floor- with chairs/ seating around for people who would find it difficult to sit on the floor?

Hire a hall, or a room above a pub or something similar.

Keep it substantial but simple, something like jacket potatoes with a couple of different toppings and some salad, or lasagne. You can serve that up in a kitchen however tiny, and people can squeeze into the living room and eat on laps.

My friend has fed 16 in her tiny, exquisite cottage. Admittedly some were children who you can squeeze in anywhere. Lunch, nice walk, back to hers for tea and cake. Fab. I wouldn't hire a gazebo, just embrace it. They already know how big your house is.

So you should never ever host?! I can see why they are putting their foot down about it. A lot of people don’t like hosting but everyone needs to take their turn

People are offering suggestions about buffets and food choices but is Canadian Thanksgiving a time when guests will expect certain food because it’s traditional?

Gazebo in the garden with chairs and table for one element of the party to sit, kids/adults. Other half in the house. Or everyone eating from bowls on laps.
Big pot of chilli made in advance.
Nachos/tortillas/salsa/guacomole/sour cream.
All served buffet style from kitchen counter.

That's crazy. So they would rather be squashed together than be comfortable just to make you host?

Couldn't you offer to cook at someone else's house?

That reminds me. I had a studio flat and hosted a party for 29. I think it was only party food though.

OP bite the bullet, do it with a big smile and know they'll never ask you again! Don't be hiring tents. Just squash them all into your house.

Do a buffet so people don’t all have to sit at a table.

Tell them that you are hiring a tent for it and they might reconsider.