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Original poster

Son and I were talking daily, now I’ve helped him financially he’s dropped off the planet.

34 replies

hoardingwealth · 29/04/2026 21:01

I’ve just helped my son to buy his first house. I provided the whole deposit. We had to talk daily about this for a while because it was a special Family Springboard mortgage and there were lots of things to tie up. Anyway, it all went through and he’s now moved in. Since then, he doesn’t reply to calls or messages for days on end. In fairness he was a bit like this before, but I just feel so sad that now the financial transaction is over he has gone back to being low contact, when he wasn’t low contact in the middle of the legalities of getting his mortgage.

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 30/04/2026 13:44

You gave him money, he got what he wanted, and now he's back to his norm of low contact. He was in frequent contact with you during the financing process because he had to be.

I'm sure you feel used. But did you really expect him to change and be in frequent contact because you gave him a large sum of money?

TomatoSandwiches · 30/04/2026 13:22

That's disappointing, looks likr he's got what he wanted from you and reverted back to the man he really is.
This might be normal (read common ) behaviour but it shouldn't be.

Gardenimp · 30/04/2026 13:18

Isn't that the normal relationship for a 29 yo son and his mother?

My DS1 is 25 and recently moved away. He does contact me when he he has something to tell me about (or to ask) but I don't hear from him more than a few times a month, he's busy living his life, in a new and exciting phase. I don't think I contacted my parents much when I first moved out.

ChristAliveHelp · 30/04/2026 13:17

My brothers like this, will speak to our mum when wants or needs something otherwise you won’t hear from him in months he does it to all family members just reads & ignores their messages.
I don’t know why she puts up with it in all honesty.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 30/04/2026 13:11

In fairness he was a bit like this before,

You've now got the 'normal' him back.

Not meant in any nasty way at all but he wanted to get his mortgage sorted and that involved talking to you daily, that's now be delt with so he's just doing as he did before, he probably doesn't think its a case of now he's got your money he no longer needs to communicate with you.

He's reverted back to getting on with his life and now he's a house owner cracking on there.

My DC never reply to a message straight away but that's fine, it's not really important that's why we message, a phone call on the other hand is pretty much used when its important and an answer/discussion is needed straight away.

Original poster
hoardingwealth · 29/04/2026 21:10

Thanks guys. He’s 29 and moved in 4 weeks ago.

OP posts:
pinksquash13 · 29/04/2026 21:04

Feel for you OP. How old is he? I remember feeling like I wanted space from parents when I'd just moved out. It's an exciting time for him and he's getting on with being an adult and a 'new' life. Now I'm in my thirties, I call my parents everyday 😅

JacknDiane · 29/04/2026 21:03

Well he must be busy moving in or planning his move. Im sure he appreciates the money.

TheChosenTwo · 29/04/2026 21:03

That’s a shame, you must feel a bit used/disapponted.
Not sure really, if he was always like this maybe it could have been a bit expected?
not heard of that type of mortgage!
How long ago did he move in?

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