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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to dislike being asked to sponsor colleagues and friends?

71 replies

Needablueskyholiday · 29/04/2026 20:00

I wanted to gauge popular opinion on being asked to sponsor colleagues / friends etc. - the exception being kids.

Do you happily oblige? Or do you cringe inside, that it’s £xx you hadn’t budgeted for and you really wish you’d not been put under pressure to agree. To add to this, often giving more than you feel comfortable for fear of being judged as tight.

AIBU - Don’t be tight, it’s for good causes.
YANBU - I hate sponsoring people. I try where I can but hate the pressure of being asked - often by the same people.

OP posts:
Allswellthatendswelll · 30/04/2026 01:46

Yes: people at work running or walking long distances for hospitals or cancer charities

No: friends husband cycling to Paris to raise money for their child's school (which my DC don't go to)

Ponderingwindow · 30/04/2026 01:15

I don’t need someone to go through the faff and expense of doing a run or a bake sale. That distinctly turns me off. Just post on your social media about a worthy cause or even send me an email. Tell me why it matters to you and why it might matter to me. Sometimes I will be inspired to donate. Other times my funds will already be committed or the cause might not meet my threshold. The advocacy work is still completed without unnecessary steps.

Flatandhappy · 30/04/2026 00:18

A number of my friends do big annual charity walks and ask for sponsorship in our group chats but I have never given, partly because going on long hikes is their hobby so it’s not exactly a hardship. I have also never asked for sponsorship/ ticket sales etc. for my kids. I mainly regularly support one homeless charity I think does amazing work and have made anonymous donations to charities supporting children with various disabilities that affect friends’ kids but they wouldn’t know that.

thehaplessgardener · 30/04/2026 00:01

They're like unavoidable chuggers you know. I can't bear it.

Uppitymuppity · 29/04/2026 23:08

I would hate this also and wouldn't dream of asking others to sponsor me. Further to this I also hate being asked every two minutes to donate to someone's birthday/pregnancy/wedding/leaving present. I started to decline contributing to any of these things so I no longer get asked which is perfect. I'm sure I get slagged off big time for it but I truly don't care. Consequently I don't get bought anything for any events which is also perfect for me as I hate fuss.

sunnydisaster · 29/04/2026 23:00

Depends who it is and the cause.
A good friend who I see regularly I’ll sponsor, or if it’s for a really good cause.
If it’s just a randomer on FB who I barely know then def not!
I hate being made to feel ‘bad’ about it. You def have to draw the line somewhere.
ATM I’m not working in an office but when I did I don’t remember getting a lot of sponsorship request.

Sunshineandoranges · 29/04/2026 22:55

One lady who didnt know me but worked in the same department cornered me in the tea room to ask me to sponsor her husband to cycle somewhere abroad .... i said i would think about it but didnt . I liked the people who bought in homemade cakes, i was always happy to sponsor their cooking!

DrCoconut · 29/04/2026 22:47

AgnesMcDoo · 29/04/2026 21:30

My DH ran the London marathon this weekend.

he was going to run it anyway (ballot place) but i encouraged him to get sponsored

he raised £1600 for our local scout group - money they would it have otherwise received

decline if you don’t want sponsor someone but they are doing a good thing - don’t knock it

My DS has just raised money for his scout group. It surely preferable for a teen to be physically active and do something good than some of the alternatives?

TheSmallAssassin · 29/04/2026 22:14

I've never felt pressurised by anyone to sponsor them, people sometimes post their fundraising links on our internal social media, and I do donate from time to time, especially if it's a cause that resonates with me, or it seems like an amazing achievement (someone rowed across the Atlantic!) or just because I've benefited when people have sponsored me when I've raised money (approximately once a decade) and I want to pay it forward.

Stardancerintheskye · 29/04/2026 22:04

I remember the big,big boss at work wanting us to sponsor her for some bike ride abroad with her husband

All the 'minor' bosses where like 'its only £50!shes doing it for a good cause!' (a charity i wouldn't support if it was the last charity on earth and I had a spare fiver to give)

Im on minimum wage

Shes worth upwards of 20 million-she could afford to pay for her own holiday!

Apparently the 'minor' bosses where 'disappointed' in us as they all coughed up and they got about £20 out of the colleagues mugs that did pay up

Fuck that-its cheeky fuckery at its best

PollyBell · 29/04/2026 21:41

It depends on my mood at the time but put me on the spot no chance in hell

SonyaLoosemore · 29/04/2026 21:41

I would support a sponsored litter pick.

AgnesMcDoo · 29/04/2026 21:30

My DH ran the London marathon this weekend.

he was going to run it anyway (ballot place) but i encouraged him to get sponsored

he raised £1600 for our local scout group - money they would it have otherwise received

decline if you don’t want sponsor someone but they are doing a good thing - don’t knock it

Nevermind17 · 29/04/2026 21:26

7238SM · 29/04/2026 20:40

I can afford it, but will donate to a charity of my choice. I'm not going to sponsor 'Barbara' because she managed to walk, run, sleep the normal amount a VERY average person should do daily anyways!

I absolutely agree. I don’t mind sponsoring a marathon or something similar that people are putting some effort into. But I begrudge sponsoring people doing a 5K walk, or bloody dry January. If you struggle to get through a month without alcohol you should be visiting your GP, not asking for payment.

Mycarsmellsoflavender · 29/04/2026 21:20

I used to hate this too, especially when it’s something mundane (eg sponsor me to walk 10,000 steps each day for a month from an averagely fit person, just do it ffs) or when they approach you directly and you feel under pressure to comply.

But the past few years, I’ve noticed that the usual way is to make a post on FB with a link to a donation site, or even not asking for sponsorship at all. This way, it’s easier to ignore it if you don’t want to donate. I have discovered this week that 2 people I know unconnected to each other ran the London Marathon last weekend with no publicity beforehand and no sponsorship requested. When I found out, I offered to sponsor them and they were happy to send details. I donated more than I would have done had they asked me directly as I felt it came from the right place. I am also really impressed as one is a young person in remission from cancer and the other is a woman in her fifties.

Lemonbutters · 29/04/2026 20:53

I will happily sponsor colleagues I like who are fundraising for what I think is a good, genuine cause! I do get requests from a lot of ladder climbers who are happy to step on others on their ascent. They’re blatantly just trekking the Amazon etc to raise their profile and couldn’t care less about the cause, so I ignore those!

Poulaphooka · 29/04/2026 20:50

Newnamethisway · 29/04/2026 20:08

I don’t mind being asked but am also confident saying no. I also find children awkward- I give though often it’s not a charity I’d have chosen (not that I actively dislike but for example I tend not to give to animal charities)

This. I’m happy to say no to ridiculous ‘sponsor my seven marathons on seven continents in seven days’ vanity stuff, or charities I wouldn’t support. With children I’m more open but with small amounts, and I still won’t support a cause I’m really not in tune with. But I don’t mind being asked.

attichoarder · 29/04/2026 20:48

I do not sponsor those who I work with and when my children bring home a form we just fill it in with family members and give the money to them ourselves. I find it difficult to say no at work but i now do. I feel its wrong to put pressure on people as we all have charities we prefer and it is a choice how we allocate our money.

AImportantMermaid · 29/04/2026 20:45

I don’t. I hate sponsoring people to do things they want to do anyway. I don’t care that you’re running a marathon or abseiling down the Great Wall of China, or having a charidee bake sale (no, I don’t want your muffins) but I’ll give anyone £20 to

: wash my car
: mow my lawn
: clean my oven
: drive me back from a nice country pub
: clean my shoes
: make my dinner
: a half hour piano lesson
: a guest pass to their gym
: uploading or posting Vinted stuff

(obviously the £20 is in addition to me providing the ingredients/cleaning products/packaging)

If someone on my street sent a message to the neighbourhood WhatsApp offering to make a charidee lasagne for £15 a head I’d be all over that.

AnotherDayAnotherNameDay · 29/04/2026 20:44

We use Monzo and each month budget a small amount which goes into a "pot" we've named "Being generous to people". It gets spent on sponsorship / get well soon presents / GoFundMe for local causes, credit on a local homeless person's electricity card, charity donations etc. etc. For us it acts as an additional prompt to think of others and we enjoy it. (This is in addition to our regular monthly charity standing orders.)

mixedcereal · 29/04/2026 20:42

I hate it unless it’s something genuinely difficult and not fun. Sponsored sky dives, running or any kind of hike I would not sponsor!

7238SM · 29/04/2026 20:40

I can afford it, but will donate to a charity of my choice. I'm not going to sponsor 'Barbara' because she managed to walk, run, sleep the normal amount a VERY average person should do daily anyways!

tilyougetenough · 29/04/2026 20:40

Pretty sure TAATs are banned.

Adelle79360 · 29/04/2026 20:39

It’s really frustrating. Just last week I had one colleague plugging her daughter’s fundraising page and one of the school mums sharing the fundraising page of another mum (whose child is in a different class to mine) in our class WhatsApp group. I didn’t sponsor because I don’t know either of the people! It gets a bit ridiculous. If it was someone I knew I’d suck it up and sponsor probably. The cost of everything is so high it’s wrong to make people feel pressured to donate. Yes you can say no, but people would really rather not be asked than made to feel awkward for saying no.

Framboisery · 29/04/2026 20:31

I'm fine with it if it's not excessive and if it's a quick message with no pressure.

I've sponsored 1 colleague and a family member this year. There was no pressure and I could have kept the amount anonymous.

In my previous job there was a woman who always had a thing that she was doing and wanting sponsorship from.
And she would ask and ask and ask. If you avoided it, she would remember and ask again. And she went on ad nauseum about the thing.

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