Matcha, leggings with socks over, botox, yada yada yada

I have heard people say that they can't be friends with people because they are 'girly girls', privately educated, state educated, vote labour/reform/conservative, too rich, too poor, too foreign, too old, too young, too gay, too cliquey, too blond, too nerdy, too straight, too working/middle/upper class, too flashy etc. Your lot are too 'basic' for you.

When I feel like this, which I sometimes do, it is because I am being prejudiced or insecure. I tell myself to stop being a dick and talk to people. Or sometimes I justify it in my head and wallow in it.

This is true but how do you explain the matcha? Do they all like it or are they all just sheep? People are just buying what social media tells them to like.

People have always followed fashion aka 'lacked originality'. Look at any painting and you can date the century/era. People in Tudor times didn't dress like Elizabethans who didn't dress like Victorians.

More recently, look at any photo of a group and you will accurately be able to identify the decade in which it was taken. Every period and era has its 'look'. There will always be rebels and outliers but even they will probably reflect something of what they see around them.

My mum was always very scathing about people who followed trends completely ignoring the photographic evidence of her as a young mum in the 60s with mini skirts, long white boots, bouffant hair enhanced with 'switches' and multiple false eyelashes.

There shouldn't be any shame in wanting to look au courant or dressing to identify your tribe any more than people should be embarrassed by expressing their individuality.

🤣🤣🤣

I get what you mean OP. I'd go further to say that even people with so called "interesting pasts" can be shallow or self absorbed, assuming the other person just wants to listen about how interesting they are 🤣
I also know smart, accomplished people (according to societal standards), ready to discuss politics and current events at the drop of a hat. That doesn't appeal to me personally, I see it as nothing but dry intellectualism. My interests lie elsewhere and mean nothing to them so we have no common ground.

Why don’t YOU open up more ‘down to earth’ conversations?

It is nice. There are many different types of people who live there, just like any place. I don’t recognise the version of it that the PP describes.

I’m with you OP. Late to the thread but yes basically they are following what they see on social media. Plus what they see at the school gate. Lots of ‘new money’ where we live too. Also lots of wellness coaches. Whatever they are. No one seems to be going to a normal job.

Its quite sad if women get so influenced by social media that they do this.

Haha glad we didn’t buy there then! I thought it looked nice with lots of eateries.

Do they also say ‘obsessed’ a lot and everything is ‘gorgeous’?

OP, can you try to think of other ways of meeting people?

Ah the white sock wankers as I call them.
Sneering at anyone who's different and ignores you when you say hello.

And the irony is, OP has been called out as ‘judgey’ but her accusers have said some awful things about her (‘thick as shit’ is just one lovely example). The words pot, kettle & black come to mind

And the irony is, OP has been called out as ‘judgey’ but her accusers have said some awful things about her (‘thick as shit’ is just one lovely example). The words pot, kettle & black come to mind

And the irony is, OP has been called out as ‘judgey’ but her accusers have said some awful things about her (‘thick as shit’ is just one lovely example). The words pot, kettle & black come to mind

OP ever heard of shadow work? I think you should give it a go… there will be a reason why this ‘bothers’ you so much and perhaps why you see yourself so superior.

I have mixed group of friends and we all talk about different things I have a friend with learning difficulties whose speech is slow but she has so much insight into the challenges she’s faced in society - trying to navigate for herself and family , I have friends from different nationalities - some who migrated through several countries - I have friends who have school level education all the way to a spinal neurosurgeon… I have a friend who might be your worst nightmare because she wears sweaty Betty, socks over her leggings and van cleef jewellery but she’s a multi millionaire after creating her own company and selling it on (but you’d prob only see the reformer pilates and Botox)! What I’m trying to say is - all these people reflect different parts of me too!

You’ll find it’s easy to judge but even harder to truly get to know people if you come from a place of judgement - all these women you disregard will bring their own value to the world and their families.

Good luck with finding people who you can call a friend.

I think OP has expressed it quite badly (I think she's trying to be funny but it doesnt come across that way) but I sort of get her point. My small fairly nice town is full of people who tick all these boxes and while I'm sure some of them are very pleasant and interesting it does make me a bit depressed how nobody seems to have much individuality any more. From the school girls in identikit Nike Pro shorts to the Matcha Mums they just feel like clones and I can see why someone might judge a bit for that.

Wow OP. People are being mean on this one.

I see your point and also that you are broadly asking for a little more originality. Not against all these things specifically as such. Read between the lines people.

OP I kind of agree with you - I fit half this stereotype myself but am often disappointed and surprised at how little some others seem to be willing to voice an opinion about….very much at all ….? And also that they seem to viably all want to be matchy matchy? Sometimes it happens by necessity but there is an appetite for the ‘look’ that I do not share.

This!

Can't believe all the negative reactions saying they wouldn't want to be YOUR friend

So many mean girl vibes

You sounds pretty nasty and judgy … what make you so much better and more interesting? Maybe they’ve realised what you’re like and can’t be bothered to make the effort!

I’m all of you describe but also all of what you describe wanting in a friend.
I am poor as shit though and have a regular job
You sound pretty shallow tbh

You're getting pulled apart but I agree, some women are basic. Probably depends on your area. It is alienating when you are only meeting bubbleheads. I hope you meet some more interesting women soon.

To be fair, one of my good friends is a yoga instructor coffee enthusiast but also good fun, lots of interests.

I’m no longer a school gate mum but I know what you mean. I worked full time so had no time for coffee, the gym or classes. I drink black coffee, decent but not in a Stanley or disposable cup, usually made at home or work. No idea what matcha is, heard of it but never tasted one or seen one. I don’t like milk in coffee so have never explored the Miriam of variations on milky coffee.
There is so much performance involved nowadays. Maybe there always has been but I was late to the mum thing so a bit set in my ways by the time I was a parent.
I have one lively mum friend from school drop off days. We get on because of our rather quirky shared interests rather than our lifestyle choices. If I fancy visiting an interesting graveyard and church or one of the more niche museums she’s always up for it. I recently needed to sell some scrap gold and she was really interested in accompanying me to the bullion dealer. There aren’t many of the women I know that enjoy the less ordinary so I suspect our friendship will endure.