Matcha, leggings with socks over, botox, yada yada yada

Why? Surely you drink it whether it’s fashionable or not? I hate tea so it could be the most fashionable thing in the world and I still wouldn’t touch it.

I wear leggings and socks, hate matcha but love an iced latte which I'm sure falls under the same umbrella. I'm pretty funny I'd say, I've definitely got an interesting past and have plenty of topics of conversation from politics, to travel to sport if any of those would pass the test. Not sure what my comfy clothes and choice of drink would have to do with my ability to hold a conversation?

I don't know about anyone else, but school gate chat is superficial. I'm not going to go into depth about things unless we're good friends.

Also, I wouldn't hire a handyman without a recommendation. Similarly a cleaner or aesthetician.

Being healthy (pilates) is essential when you're a parent. I was reading an article recently that said that our healthy life expectancies are going down and, in some areas, the healthy life expectancy for a woman is only 53 years. If you don't take care of yourself in a way that you enjoy, then you're going to spend a large portion of your life unwell and on medication. That doesn't make you vapid.

Matcha is disgusting to me though. No thanks. And, as a millennial, I refuse to wear anything other than trainer socks.

Trainer socks, come to the dark side 😂

White sock wankers - ha yes!

I don't move in these fancy circles luckily. Haven't got any problems with doing pilates, that's good for you. But I only have to think about doing those plank thingies and I have to reach for some ibuprofen. If that makes me a pick me person, who cares?

Unless they are close friends they're not going to be having deep conversations with you. If they are close friends perhaps you could mention you are bored with these subjects? Live and let live I say.

It's just trends op, you mustn't get so uptight about it.

I like latte and even wear crocs on dog walks what does that make me I dread to ask .

People have always followed fashion and trends it is not a new thing. Unclench and try to be more tolerant!

Ok. Enjoy your sticks and Pilates class 🤣

And I’m not deeply offended, I find it comical and stupid that people actually make assumptions like this from people enjoying exercise or a drink

How does she know that though? That’s an assumption again, it’s a relatively new drink to the uk and lots of people actually like it as it tastes nice

I don’t actually. I started Pilates at the age of 46 and it’s been amazing for my condition. At the studio I go to I have met woman all ages and from all walks of life, some “new money” some “old money”. Me and my friend go to a cafe afterwards sometimes, I get a matcha because I love the taste and she gets a coffee, we both have socks and leggings on as that’s what you need to wear. She has a cleaner. There might be really young girls following social media trends but I don’t think that’s the age group she is talking about. As I said there are people at Pilates and in cafes drinking matchas from all walks of life. Making assumptions about people is not a good look

Food fashions change just as much as appearance. In the 70s Leibfraumilch and Cinzano were seen as sophisticated . Takeaway drinks were instant coffee or tea in polystyrene cups from greasy spoons or a vending machine. Skimmed milk was a niche product and dairy free alternatives didn't exist.

New products become available. Some people try them and like them, some try them and dislike them (I tasted a relative's matcha and it's not for me).

Some people are very set in their ways and won't try new things. My late MIL was very suspicious of cheese and pasta and referred to fusilli as 'the wormy things your kids eat'. If it wasn't meat and potatoes with cabbage, carrots or peas she wasn't interested. She later amazed us when she went into a care home in her 90s and developed a passion for pizza.

Whether you prefer to stick to what you know or like trying new things you won't stop food fads coming and going and I'm quite sure these maligned women in leggings and socks wouldn't be paying £5 a pop for matcha if they weren't enjoying it.

Yes but OPs point is they’re all into it. Because they’ve been told they should like it by social media. I’m waiting for tea to come back into fashion.

I don't do anything on that list but its all on my aspiration mood board

You know exactly who she and I am talking about. You don't need to pretend to be deeply offended, it's OK, this is a safe space.

That’s not judging, that’s reading someone’s judgment and knowing that it’s a really stupid thing to say! It’s evidence based on what she has said, not assuming because she drinks fresh orange and goes to the gym that she’s basic and lacks depth, because as I say, that would be thick as shit

what the same as coffee? It’s no different, you either like it or you don’t.

Basic and bubbleheads? Because they go to Pilates and have cleaners? Wow

The world is full of vacuous people who become triggered at the drop of a hat. Sadly they are in the majority and everyone else has to accommodate their vacuous outrage while pretending they are vacuous too if they want to assimilate.

The world is full of people who go home and despair at the shallow nature of their social circle. Men in particular. I’m seeing women become more like men by having lots of superficial boardline competitive friendships where is traditionally women would have a few close deep friendships. That’s sad, but adults don’t really have the opportunity to develop deep friendships anymore. Proximity is the biggest factor in developing friendships but people move house, their children move school, they move job, they work remotely. People aren’t in proximity to each other long enough to form deep friendships anymore.

You are not alone, but the other people like you are having to pretend to be shallow and superficial- so they are not instantly recognisable to you. You will have to talk to people and get to know them and find the ones who only drink the matcha to get by socially- kiss a lot of frogs so to speak.

The problem then is the superficial friendships you’ve formed with vacuous people while trying to find your tribe. They stay superficial and you’d happily drop them, but to another person outside the group it looks like you’re all matcha drinking, Pilates ‘obsessed’ idiots. And the cycle continues.

Genuine advice. Stop worrying about what other people are doing, completely. Focus on being yourself, wearing what you like, doing things you like and you will find your people.

People are allowed to enjoy a drink!

Also how do you know they like matcha? It's hard to imagine this coming up in conversation. Are you making assumptions based on the leggings and socks?

Very judgmental OP! You shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Once you get past the school gate small talk, people can be very interesting. People can be multifaceted - it's possible to care about one's appearance, like a certain type of drink, AND be interesting and well-read. Sounds to me like you need to improve your conversation skills.