Matcha, leggings with socks over, botox, yada yada yada

Milky green tea often with sauces added like cherry or chocolate 🤢

What is matcha?

so you have your own friends who are more like you, what’s the problem with other people being different to you? Not everyone has to be the same.

Maybe you are giving off a judgy vibe and they don’t feel comfortable opening up to you.

Well I’ve heard of totes toasties but I haven’t heard of grippy socks so I’m not sure their marketing department is all that much better!

I’m a basic leggings and socks wearing, botoxed mum, drinking my matcha and minding my own business but I also like to think I have a lot of depth- I’m political, I’m an activist, I’ve got an interesting job and have had far more interesting jobs in the past too, I’ve played sport to a very high level and travelled the world pre and post kids. I’m opinionated and educated with two masters degrees and most importantly to me, a feminist and advocate for women.

I find I’ve developed such lovely deep rewarding friendships with other mums over the years where we will talk about anything ranging from our deepest fears and traumas to our favourite place to get matcha 😉 but that’s probably because I’m not a stuck up, misogynistic mean girl who think I’m better than someone based on what they wear or drink so am able to develop these friendships.

It is very sad because growing up I sometimes got underestimated in sports and academics because I was blonde and bubbly and pretty (pre kids and living off more than 0.2 seconds of sleep per night). Then I was treated the same way in the working world by sexist men, over looking and under estimating me based on my appearance. I thought I’d be free of that kind of judgement especially by other women in this day and age as a mum but apparently not.

Let’s hope you don’t have daughters OP x

Reliable cleaners and handymen are worth their weight in gold! The number of times I've been given numbers of people for odd jobs and they either don't reply or don't turn up! I will happily wear the socks and pretend I like matcha to get connected 🤣

They’re totes toasties with a better marketing department.

You take issue with "thick as shit" but refer repeatedly to "the flock". But cover your arse by saying, effectively, "it's ok, not every one can be special". Unlike you, who wears a uniform but specified it's "scrubs", just in case we thought it was the uniform of a Tesco shop assistant.

From my perspective, intellectually and politically you're very much wearing a uniform, and blend in perfectly with a crowd that some of us find as legible as the leggings and socks.

I will and I do, don’t know what you mean by sticks?

You can do Botox and have depth. They aren't mutually exclusive. But, I do know what you mean. If I meet someone now who is dull, I will make zero effort. I just don't give two fucks. Life is too short to spend time with boring people but don't judge them cause they are wearing long socks. At least wait for them to chat to you about something meaningful before you jump to conclusions.

You know nothing about me. Pilates has been about for decades. I have never followed the crowd or am part of a flock! Judging people on what they drink and how they exercise is more like a teenager. The socks and leggings is non negotiable for Pilates so it’s not a trend. I’ve been told all my life I’m different, I’m autistic, finding and exercise that helps my joints and a drink I love the taste of doesn’t make me part of a flock! You sound ridiculous

Take it that you do Pilates and drink matcha.

Not everyone is comfortable with blending in. Trends are set by those who don’t follow the crowd. You only need one of the popular to change their car and within 12 months the car park is full of them, necessitating the trend setter to change again, and onward it goes.

If you are happy being part of the flock that is absolutely fine. It’s a safe secure place for the majority. But it is unfair to call out someone, who is not a flock member, thick as shit. You are no longer a teenager.

Some of us like to be different it’s part of our makeup. I spend my working life in a uniform ( scrubs) so in my private life the urge to be different is very strong. Even if I did take part in the flock activities I would definitely not be wearing the “uniform”.

true 😆 I agree. I think you kind of missed my point though.

honestly….mumsnet. Is anyone here capable of reading between the lines?

I hate small talk but I know you usually need to go through a bit of it before you really get to know a person. Are you sharing your deep and interesting thoughts with them? Or is there a chance you come across in the same way you perceive them to be?

One of the funniest, most intelligent, down to earth, well-travelled, well-read interesting mum I know just happens to wear socks over leggings and do pilates! Not sure about matcha though, I think she's a coffee drinker.
Anyway, try looking past the exterior and you just might be pleasantly surprised.

Im a mum to an 6 and 2 yo and have never experienced other mums like this nor have I ever seen any like this.

It's a lot to expect everyone to look different, there are all sorts of reasons why people dress the way they do. I tend to wear a variation of the same thing all the time, a uniform of sorts, because I can't be bothered to put together a unique outfit. I don't judge those who do though, in fact I slightly envy their energy and motivation. Oh no, what if people think I am a sheep for wearing the same thing most of the time which may or may not be similar to what a lot of other people are wearing?

I don't think wearing trainer socks is really coining the market of individuality

So OP, what sort of drinks, clothes and hobbies do you deem to be acceptable and non-offensive to you?

I do reformer but don’t wear the white socks. (trainer socks til I die) My good friend does it with me and is definitely a white sock wanker. I tease her about this.
She thinks it makes her look young. I have told her it makes her look like mutton dressed as lamb, because it highlights that’s she’s trying to dress like all the 20 something Ananola ponytails in our class….

im sure I’ll get told I’m judgey but this thread has made me realise that she is just more interested in conforming generally than I am. I would prob try to go the other way - ie: ‘fit in but only to a point’ This is NOT because I think I’m better - just that ive always tried to not look the same. We had different upbringings and possibly very different childhood messaging about conforming. I guess people are different 🤷🏻‍♀️

I do think OP that the pendulum has swung towards more people wanting to look alike than they used to want to. But I was a teen in the 90s when the trend was to try to look a little more individual if possible, it’s prob stuck with me.

Obviously I drink tea. Unlike the matcha drinkers. Just one day my on trend era will come.

Precisely! I'm the only person in the entire office that doesn't drink tea, I don't feel social pressure to down it, even when it's free at work... I'd feel even less inclined to do so if the social pressure meant I had to buy and drink it in my own time

Some people like to ‘fit in’ some people like to ‘stand out’
I think this says a lot more about you than them.
I would question to myself why is it that I feel this so deeply. People’s judgements are often deep insecurities about themselves. Do you struggle to fit in? Do you like yourself? Do you worry people will find you boring?

What should I wear to communicate that I have an "interesting past"? Is it ok to do yoga? Can I drink matcha even if I have "real worries"?

Gosh, so much to consider. I'm wearing jeans today, and yet could still recommend a handyman.