Was sex at school less stigmatised in the late 90s?

There definitely is this attitude around but I'd say that's extreme. Plenty of Gen Zs at uni are dating without being shamed.

So is "frigid" not really a term that is thrown about these days at school?

@Waitingforthesunnydays I can only judge by my DD (20) but I think it’s more common to wait longer now tbh. A few of DD’s friends became fully sexually active at 16/17 but many waited longer. Not because they didn’t have opportunities, but because their parents talked more openly about choice and not being pressured into anything.

Agree, I live very very near 3 pubs and a micro-brewery bar type thing. Before covid lockdown binge drinking with youngsters was still very much a thing, we'd get fights most weekends and a lot of them was the 18-20 group and younger. It was like the wild west tbh. Lockdown just seemed to change everything, those kids just disappeared and never returned when the pubs reopened. It's amazing how quickly the attitude to drink has changed.

I was at school in the 70's/80's and body count seemed shameful back then.
I presume the shame being brought back (if in the 90's was deemed ok) is just part of the general trend towards misogyny that is happening at the moment. Thanks to the Andrew Tates of this world and social media influencers.

It might not be cool to have a high ‘body count’ for girls these days but I’m guessing it’s probably still a bit embarrassing/uncool to get to 16 or 17 and still be a virgin..although I don’t know, my kids are still in primary, maybe someone with teenagers can comment on whether that’s accurate or not?

Yeah, I remember that too everyone around me sort of went "ewwwwwww" at that number 😅 From memory it was high 30s.

High body count has always been looked down on, always will be unless we change in some huge evolutionary sense. Nobody likes sloppy seventy seconds - and that goes for both sexes. The actual number may vary, below ten was ok for both sexes, now it's probably below 20.

But you are fooling yourself badly if you think it doesn't matter to most people. It just does.

Men always pushed the narrative that slutty men were somehow cool, but most women always preferred men with a low body count too, they just weren't as vocal about it.

Fashions in everything including how we talk about or societally endorse screwing around come and go. Human nature remains basically stable.

Generally earlier the better at my school in the 90s.

As a very old woman I've not heard the term 'body count', even when I was teaching in the NW, but I remember watching 4 Weddings and a Funeral where the Andi McDowell character lists all her experiences, I was amazed at her memory!

Really? Was it a very working class area (no disrespect there)?

None of the boys made fun of slim girls with small breasts at my school. The prettiest girls were asked out and fancied most by the lads. I can understand that some teenage boys were probably Lads Mag and Page 3 obsessed though. I hope the “flat” (hate that term) girls put those lads back in their place; doubt they were Brad Pitts 🤣

I left high school in 1999 and whereas there was definitely a stigma for the boys who had never had sex, there was also a stigma for the girls who had. Girls were in an impossible situation actually where they were accused of being easy if they had sex, and frigid if they did not. Looking back it was all about point scoring for the boys, and controlling the bodies of young women. I hope things have changed!

Who remembers the AIDs campaigns ?

I started secondary school in 2001 and it was worse to be frigid than to sleep around. I was called frigid for not kissing a boy at age 12!

I don’t know that it’s more stigmatised now exactly but teens certainly seem to be more sensible about it all as a whole. I think probably because parents are generally more open about it and teens are better educated about it. It’s not treated like some sort of exciting forbidden fruit like it was when I was a teen anyway.

Yep, nothing new under the sun, including men shaming women for their 'body count' whilst considering theirs is, of course, no consequence at all.

I was at secondary school 1996-2000. I’ve never really thought about it being better but yes, without doubt it was less stigmatised than it is now. I lost my virginity very early to my ‘long term’ school boyfriend. Some friends did the same, some much later. No judgement, the usual silliness from boys but nothing like the misogyny that is present now. That makes me really sad actually - no idea that the times we were living would be so much better then than now.

Although thinking about it, there has been some postive progress; the term gay was very much used as an insult. I can’t recall any boy being openly gay and definelty not any girls, lesbian was used even more as an insult. I’m so glad that sexuality is so much less of a big deal now.

Quite a few in my year group started to loose their virginity around 12/13 years old.

The 16 year old virgins definitely the anomaly.

Being sexually active was fine where I went to school in the 1990's, but I remember that a couple of girls were known as "bikes" because lots of people had a ride on them. Not a nice way to refer to them.

Literally my username, early 90’s. A heady mix of trying to stay mysterious, not getting pregnant and not shagging anyone but also shagging hot blokes. Not teachers or pervs who were clearly wanting shags from 15-18 year olds.

Fucking hell - 12??? That’s so sad

I would echo this. Boys quite vile about the girls, heavy use of slag and slapper. I recall a a boy telling his mates he had fingered a girl (at the under 18 disco) and she was a right slag for bouncing up and down on his fingers and enjoying it. A 19 year old asked me why I hadn't shagged him yet, I was 16 and when I said I wasn't ready he said "What's wrong with you are you frigid?"

I think amongst the girls there was a sort of awe for the girls who were having sex but actually they were probably pressured into it and everyone was calling them names behind their backs.

I love how everyone who grew up in a rough area was told it had the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe. When I read that I thought you must be from Burnley, because I was sure we held that crown for a bit too. 😂

You're definitely right. Culture swings from one extreme to the other and my experience was early noughties rather than 90's but it was definitely cool to sleep around. I got the piss taken out of me for being a virgin at 16. I don't think they all neck a full bottle of MD 20:20 then pass out on a park bench anymore so some of the changes might be for the best. The "body count" thing is misogynistic though, all a bit red pill.