To ask what poor theatre etiquette you’ve witnessed?

Completely agree with this

If that's the worst theatre etiquette you've come across you've got off very lightly!!

I haven’t been to the theatre for a while but it has got worse over the years. Rustling and eating. Talking and people getting up and down are the worst. I’ve completely given up going to the cinema. I just wait for the film to be available on Sky Cinema. It’s worth every penny to watch the film in peace!

I'll never understand why some buy tickets & then arrive so drunk they can't appreciate it, as some pps describe ..

I understand where you're coming from in principle but I disagree with making excuses for this:

"So things like wanting to record on phones or (quietly) video call family, I know is super annoying but I also know they do it because they are so excited to be there and they really do see it as a once in a lifetime thing. It's a big deal to them."

That's not about some secretive unknown etiquette, it's literally announced at the beginning that you mustn't film, take photos or use phones during the performance. Just like you're not allowed to do that at the cinema.

It's also a matter of basic respect for the people around you that isn't unique to the theatre.

And you're assuming that visiting the theatre is not also a big deal to the people around them whose experience they're ruining. Why is it ok to ruin someone's special birthday present? You don't know that the person behind them whose enjoyment has been spoiled by the video call hadn't scrimped and saved to attend as a special treat for the first time. Or is there for bucket list reasons because they're dying from cancer and wanted one last special trip with her daughter.

Besides which, if they're video calling people at whatever volume (there is no acceptable volume to do that during a performance), then they're not even paying attention to their supposed once in a lifetime experience.

Don't infantilise them like they're incapable of taking responsibility for their own behaviour. That doesn't help anyone. It's incredibly selfish to think that because you're excited it's okay to spoil it for everyone around you by doing things you have been expressly told not to do - and that are quite obviously disruptive. Trying to make out that it's inaccessible to ask people to be considerate and respectful is disingenuous and unhelpful if you want genuine accessibility issues to be taken seriously (such as your other example about why some people may need to step outside partway through).

Certainly puzzling! At least the poor man appeared to enjoy it at end...!

I was once head hunted for a FOH role as my skills were extensive and transferrable, once I found out what it was it was a straight "thanks but no thanks"! You are braver than me!

Six in Nottingham last night, had to ask the lady next to my dd to put her phone away, she was texting someone. She really wasn't happy, i thought I was going to get punched.

The lady at Phantom who checked the train times every 5 minutes, told her to put her phone away. I think I scared her.

The teenage lad who sat in front of me at Back to the Future who must have been 6 foot tall (not his fault), but did a big stretch and sat there with his hands on his head. I has to tell him to put his arms down, I definitely scared him and I honestly asked really nicely.

The man who sang all the songs in act one of Wicked, he obviously hadn't watched the second film as he was quiet during active 2. And the very loved up couple who arrived late, then went to get snacks, then kept kissing and spent most of the show with her head on his shoulder.

I am also a Front of House Manager so I could give you loads more from when I am actually at work!!

We were in the back row at Hamilton and some guys were just standing behind us frequently having a conversation at normal volume!

My cousin has thing in circumstances when people invade her personal space, she out weirds them! She does it on trains, planes and presumably automobiles! Mainly does it to men it has to be said.

So a man spreader, she will put her hand on his knee and give him a really weird creepy smile. I have seen her do it and its amazing! She is a lot braver than me, I would be the person that got assaulted or find the weirdo that liked it! They, without fail, look horrified and move!

Oh that’s just disgusting. 🤢 My worst experience was sitting next to a man with really strong BO. I tried to breathe as little as possible but it was unbearable.

As a massive treat,dp got us tickets to see only fools and horses at the haymarket in Londona few years ago

I was so excited and really looking forward to seeing it

Two older ladies in the seats just behind us,moaned loudly all the way through it that they hated only fools on the telly,never watched it as it was crap,hated 'del boy' the most and where not enjoying the stage performance

Really ruined the whole show for us-we ended up following them out at the end and dp had to hold me back from asking them why they had bothered to come see it if they hated it so much

Omg, I wonder what she'd have done of you gripped her really hard, or started stroking her.
This stuff upsets me so much, when tickets are so expensive. Have booked a show for July and thankfully it hasn't been mentioned yet ...

unfortunately sold out when I’m in London. Gutted!

Hamilton, the woman in front of us spent the whole time explaining the plot to her boyfriend (in fairness, she did stop when asked, but I shouldn't have had to).

Worst was Comedy About Spies; it's recommended for 10+ but i would say really aimed at teenagers and adults. Small child in front of me(parents insisted he was 10) was bored silly and spent the whole time fidgeting, starting with simply bouncing up and down on his chair, moving on to kneeling on his chair and leaning backwards, so his head and arms were nearly in my face, progressing to actually sitting backwards, waving his hands around so he hit me several times and then reaching backwards and feeling up my legs and arms.
Parents did nothing.

The woman who sat next to me at a matinee for Manma Mia was astonished when the users walked around at the beginning with the signs stating no photos etc. Her daughter had bought her the tickets and she wanted to take pictures throughout to show her.

I told her in no uncertain terms that she couldn't. She then proceeded to sing along but so did many many other people. I suppose a Saturday afternoon two weeks before Christmas was not the best time to go...

I’ve had a drunk couple at a matinee for War Horse who laughed at the sad bits and hooted during the funny bits.
Another drunk couple who had apparently just got married, the wife sang at the top of her voice during Moulin Rouge. It was so loud that we could barely hear the professional cast. During the intermission, every single person who sat near them (in front, both sides and us behind) asked her to stop, which thankfully she did.
Another couple (not sure if drunk or not) who talked all the way through ‘Only fools and horses’. I think one was explaining what was going on to the other. It was a bit of a crap play but it was still annoying.

My daughter is diabetic and if she has to eat, she has to eat. And check her phone in fact. She tries to prepare quiet hypo treatments before the performance starts though.

I think if you're a regular theatre goer, then just standing for exceptional performance might make sense. If its more of an occasion, the experience can be really different and quite intense though. I rather like the shared experience of genuine appreciation. I think it's quite moving.

making a bloody noise eating and rustling. Why must people eat in the theatre?????

The little match girl is a beautiful story, and so so sad. I didn't know they made a play of it, but I've read it to my 6yo DD many times. She was shocked and sad when she first heard it but as you quite rightly say, the whole point is that she dies. Why would you take your child to see that if you're going to lie about the end? Totally pointless.

Not really irritating but puzzling. The Sound of Music had just started a run in the West End and I went to see it with a friend. A Japanese family sat next to us, the mother and teenage children looked vaguely bemused throughout. The father however, who was seated beside me, cried constantly until the end when he applauded rapturously.

Took my daughters to see Phantom in January, the woman in front of me spent the entire time stroking her husband’s bald head whilst trying to rest her elbow in my lap. The first time she put it there I assumed she didn’t realise it was a person so I moved my legs a bit and she still didn’t budge. I had to push her off, and she kept putting it back again and again for me to push it off, so bizarre!

Went to see Macbeth a couple of weeks ago. Fantastic production but in Act 3 there is a speech by Ross. Its the first time I had seen Macbeth in the theatre so I am not familiar with the speech and........I'm still not.

A woman in the second row was roaring with laughter, I mean properly shrieking. I have had it explained that its a bit like the grave diggers scene in Hamlet, a bit of light relief but more of a wry smile moment. Nope, she lost it.

Now I understand that sometimes something tickles you and you lose it, my sister and I (who I was with) are chronic gigglers and can set each other off with just a look, but this woman didnt even try to stifle it, I would have had some sympathy if she had. She was out and proud guffawing to the point where there was a lot of eye contact between audience members with "WTF?!" expressions. Couldnt hear a single word past the first line that the poor actor said.

I agree, same at the cinema

I do get that a lot of this is annoying - the wanking thing - oh my good god!

Equally i work with marginalised young people and a big part of my job is trying to give them experiences that they wouldn't otherwise get. And it can be hard in the likes of the theatre where there's an etiquette if they get excited about the novelty of it or don't realise what's expected of them. So things like wanting to record on phones or (quietly) video call family, I know is super annoying but I also know they do it because they are so excited to be there and they really do see it as a once in a lifetime thing. It's a big deal to them. We nearly got kicked out of the panto the last time we went for phones being out and partly I was just cringing because i kept telling them off but then at the same time I kind of thought that it's going to be harder for some people to get the etiquette 'right' and that makes things like theatre really inaccessible to marginalised groups. And that also doesn't sit right with me.

Same for when people need to use the loo, a relative now often needs to use the loo with real urgency and has limited ability to hold his urine after cancer treatment. He usually would try to book seats near the aisle or at the back but those are not always available so I'm not sure what else he'd be expected to do.

I think anyone being antisocial or deliberately rude then fair enough, but there needs to be allowances for vulnerability and the difficulty is that's not always going to be visible.

The arts is so under resourced and funded as it is if we aren't making it accessible and encouraging everyone to be able to properly engage with it then i think you're kind of undermining it in the long run.