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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what poor theatre etiquette you’ve witnessed?

217 replies

AllaMova · 29/04/2026 19:16

Admittedly, I had never experienced poor theatre etiquette until I saw Phantom of the Opera in the West End last week.

A woman next to me kept lunging forward and then flinging herself back in her seat throughout the performance, which was very distracting and made my seat shake each time. Then, she kept whispering to her companion.

A man kept kicking another man’s seat. I didn’t notice until the man in front turned around and told him off doing so. (Not that I blame him in the slightest!)

Another woman a few rows in front of me got her to text several times. An usher intervened, but she kept doing it.

Some people also arrived late and missed the start of the show and distracted everyone else in the process of finding their seats.

I can’t believe all of this happened during one single show. Until that point, I had been so lucky.

OP posts:
SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 30/04/2026 22:22

Virtually everything mentioned in these posts and more. Same poor behaviours also in Cinemas. Including talking loudly non stop from start to finish during a performance. And even heckling.

Often thought about someone inventing headphones where you can hear the performance . But not shall we say the ambient noise

SomethingFun · 30/04/2026 21:50

I get cheap seats at the back of the stalls or front row because everyone else who goes to things is really annoying so at least if I’ve only paid £15 or they’re all behind me I don’t mind as much. Loads of really drunk people screaming along, families with full meals, phone users, latecomers. Lots of people who see comedians are absolutely feral and we end up remembering more of the stupid shit the audience say than the acts 😁 I don’t get it, because even at £15 a ticket at the back it is still far cheaper to chat to your husband or get off your face at home so I don’t understand why people go to the theatre if they have no intention of watching the show.

pinkpie · 30/04/2026 21:35

I once watched a group of about 10 people open paper wrapped fish and chips and eat them throughout the first act of a musical!
And was in front of someone singing so loudly along with the show that I couldn’t actually hear the songs on stage. I asked him to be quieter politely and got utter abuse. No one stopped him. And he continued to abuse me even after the performance. He was scary to be honest and I think no one around me wanted to challenge him.

Givemeausernamepls · 30/04/2026 21:09

Went a fair few times last year and was shocked by the amount of actual chatting not even whispering and phones going off.

The worst for me (not bad etiquette but not a great experience and has put me off) was last time I went. The woman next to me was very big and encroached about 3 inches onto my already small seat. I really don’t like people in my personal space and it did ruin it for me. She didn’t smell great either

Calliopespa · 30/04/2026 20:48

Nevermind17 · 30/04/2026 16:16

I’m an end of row hogger! I’m disabled so I always get end of row seats when I can. I’d love to wait in the bar but there are never any seats and I can’t stand, so I have no choice but to go straight to my seat.

I don’t have a problem with letting people get past, but something I noticed recently was that when we stand to let people though, people (usually women) always thank my husband and not me. I pointed it out to him as he hadn’t noticed, but he always comments on it now.

Also, it isn't so bad to seat yourself if you are pleasant about people getting past to their seat.

But it is very annoying when these people race in early then groan and huff that people need them to let them past. It is lovely to have the luxury of time to arrive early, but for some rushing from work, settling DC with babysitters etc, that extra half hour before curtains up just isn't feasible.

Calliopespa · 30/04/2026 20:11

Nevermind17 · 30/04/2026 16:16

I’m an end of row hogger! I’m disabled so I always get end of row seats when I can. I’d love to wait in the bar but there are never any seats and I can’t stand, so I have no choice but to go straight to my seat.

I don’t have a problem with letting people get past, but something I noticed recently was that when we stand to let people though, people (usually women) always thank my husband and not me. I pointed it out to him as he hadn’t noticed, but he always comments on it now.

That's odd, isn't it. Is it because you, perhaps, shuffle your legs out of the way and he stands up?

HalfasleepChrisintheMorning · 30/04/2026 18:23

Florally · 29/04/2026 20:07

I went to see stranger things and was in the dress circle.. so tiered seats and the people in front of having their heads quite obviously in our eye line.

The people in front were a mother and a son, the son being about 10/11 and it was absolutely bizarre. She was stroking him, his head, his hair, his chin, kept kissing him, it was so so inappropriate and uncomfortable. Everyone I was with commented on it. It was like he was an emotional support animal.

I think the Stranger Things theatre is particularly badly designed.
Only time my view has ever been totally obscured by a tall person.
He was really tall though!

Deadringer · 30/04/2026 18:19

Any time i have been to the theatre latecomers are not admitted. However a couple of years ago we were at a Broadway show sitting in the second row and about 15 minutes in 2 women arrived and took their seats in front of us, in the front row. What made it worse was that they were faffing around taking off their coats and rootling in their handbags, barely 2 feet from the actors on the stage. It was a drama (Doubt) perhaps it wouldn't have been as bad if it was a noisy comedy or musical.

MMUmum · 30/04/2026 18:13

AllaMova · 29/04/2026 19:16

Admittedly, I had never experienced poor theatre etiquette until I saw Phantom of the Opera in the West End last week.

A woman next to me kept lunging forward and then flinging herself back in her seat throughout the performance, which was very distracting and made my seat shake each time. Then, she kept whispering to her companion.

A man kept kicking another man’s seat. I didn’t notice until the man in front turned around and told him off doing so. (Not that I blame him in the slightest!)

Another woman a few rows in front of me got her to text several times. An usher intervened, but she kept doing it.

Some people also arrived late and missed the start of the show and distracted everyone else in the process of finding their seats.

I can’t believe all of this happened during one single show. Until that point, I had been so lucky.

What I took to be 2 Gps, discussing a patients urine and blood results, although admittedly this was during the interval but still in loud voices😡

Tichter · 30/04/2026 17:58

ArtAngel · 29/04/2026 19:34

I was about to post about anyone and everyone who gets their phone out at any time, the light catching the eye of anyone in any rows behind.

But then I read about the wanking…

Oh Lordy

Theatre disability apps for sound are phone based, just so you are aware

Tooty78 · 30/04/2026 17:50

At a performance of The Full Monty, a large hen party arrived at the last minute before curtain up. All drunk and spent the first half of the performance either heckling the poor performers or going to and fro to the bar During the interval the staff kicked them out, as so many of the audience complained. I felt sorry for the cast, as it was at the Lyceum in Sheffield, and the home crowd was hyped up! The second half was brilliant.

Bumblebeeforever · 30/04/2026 17:42

OtherS · 30/04/2026 17:33

Someone once had a coughing fit at a really climatic moment, then rustled the cough drop wrapper. And someone once had a heart attack, though thankfully they had the decency to wait for interval. Though I tend to only go to the Royal Opera House these days, largely because I can't cope at all with people eating, talking, playing with their phones etc. Let alone singing, dancing, vomiting or masturbating! It's a shame as I used to absolutely love the theatre and was there at least once a week once upon a time. I know a lot of people like me who just don't bother anymore as they can't cope with the behaviour.

But what I don't understand is why if people can behave in the ROH, why can't they behave anywhere else? I don't think it's because it's a 'certain kind of person', as it's the same people you'll find at the Coliseum or Sadler's Wells, and the seats cost about the same as any other west end show. Maybe as they have special 'relaxed' performances where presumably people do behave more like 'normal' audiences? Pretty sure they're still not allowed to eat though.

I think it depends on the show, we went to see BFG which attracted lots of people who probably don’t ordinarily go to the theatre, and the standard of behaviour was really poor compared to normal RSC audiences. It’s not the money per se, they’re just not used to being expected to sit quietly.

OtherS · 30/04/2026 17:33

Someone once had a coughing fit at a really climatic moment, then rustled the cough drop wrapper. And someone once had a heart attack, though thankfully they had the decency to wait for interval. Though I tend to only go to the Royal Opera House these days, largely because I can't cope at all with people eating, talking, playing with their phones etc. Let alone singing, dancing, vomiting or masturbating! It's a shame as I used to absolutely love the theatre and was there at least once a week once upon a time. I know a lot of people like me who just don't bother anymore as they can't cope with the behaviour.

But what I don't understand is why if people can behave in the ROH, why can't they behave anywhere else? I don't think it's because it's a 'certain kind of person', as it's the same people you'll find at the Coliseum or Sadler's Wells, and the seats cost about the same as any other west end show. Maybe as they have special 'relaxed' performances where presumably people do behave more like 'normal' audiences? Pretty sure they're still not allowed to eat though.

Jellybelly80 · 30/04/2026 17:04

My post
Jellybelly80 · Today 17:01

So things like wanting to record on phones or (quietly) video call family, I know is super annoying but I also know they do it because they are so excited to be there and they really do see it as a once in a lifetime thing. It's a big deal to them

So what about everyone else there? Did it occur to you that it may be a big deal to them even if they’re not disadvantaged? Frankly if you’re going to take these young people to the theatre then teach them to behave before you go.

Bumblebeeforever · 30/04/2026 16:30

Someone coughing right through Hamlet, not a little one-off cough but a dry choking non-stop cough, for gods sake if you can’t stop coughing you need to get up and leave. In the end an usher removed them.

Walig54 · 30/04/2026 16:16

Sometimes a Box is just as economically viable as 4 seats in the Circle or Stalls. You can munch and drink your way through without disturbing others.

Nevermind17 · 30/04/2026 16:16

Calliopespa · 30/04/2026 14:24

I do understand the frustration about people coming late, but equally find it annoying when people with seats towards the end of a row arrive early, park themselves in them then huff and eye roll as every other person in that row on that side has to ask if they could please squeeze past them to get to their own seats. Just have a drink in the bar and come in once the bulk of the audience has arrived!

I’m an end of row hogger! I’m disabled so I always get end of row seats when I can. I’d love to wait in the bar but there are never any seats and I can’t stand, so I have no choice but to go straight to my seat.

I don’t have a problem with letting people get past, but something I noticed recently was that when we stand to let people though, people (usually women) always thank my husband and not me. I pointed it out to him as he hadn’t noticed, but he always comments on it now.

dancinfeet · 30/04/2026 16:09

Lion King- parent sat behind us allowing their kid to kick DDs seat, then he put his feet up on the back of her chair and managed to kick her in the back of the head, at which point I told him off and his mother was extremely offended.
Matilda- I know it’s a musical with kids in it, and the audience has a lot of children, but the parents in front of us who allowed their kids to get up and down, up and down out of their seats constantly standing up and blocking our view (they were about 7 or 8 so not tiny tots) then the whole family proceeded to munch their way through an entire packed lunch including crisps, sausage rolls, and endlessly rattly food packets of this and that were complete twats.

HHCrochetDiva · 30/04/2026 16:05

Watching The Mousetrap and the American couple in front started loudly debating the plot and who could have done it. I became extremely polite in tone and told them in no uncertain terms to shut up and watch the play and leave that discussion to the interval. Funnily enough they complied!

Lifeomars · 30/04/2026 15:49

At the last live event I went to there were what I assumed to be a family of three in the seats adjaent to me who spent the whole performance talking and showing each other their phones. Why come out if the live performance is just background to your day to day interactions?

Peonies12 · 30/04/2026 15:34

I was at a west end play and the couple next to me arrived late, she was so drunk she fell asleep immediately with her head back. Didn't really bother me, but it was ridiculous.

Jessamy12 · 30/04/2026 15:32

mustwashmycurtains · 30/04/2026 15:31

Huh? How was he supposed to know this was medically related? Based on this thread I’d say this man was well within his rights to reasonably assume this was just a teen using her phone?? I would have told her off too.

not sure why you had to turn this into a man-bashing exercise

It's my experience that people are far quicker to jump into fights they think they can win. It's unlikely that he would have told off a man in the same situation. That is my point.

mustwashmycurtains · 30/04/2026 15:31

Jessamy12 · 30/04/2026 10:03

Some men love to tell off women and girls, don’t get me started.

Huh? How was he supposed to know this was medically related? Based on this thread I’d say this man was well within his rights to reasonably assume this was just a teen using her phone?? I would have told her off too.

not sure why you had to turn this into a man-bashing exercise

Jessamy12 · 30/04/2026 15:25

drspouse · 30/04/2026 13:13

With cricket matches being so long and also not always the same length, I get the impression people only have that day off/said they'd be back at such a time not knowing it would run longer than that.

It's a good point, but in this case it was (I should have said but didn't think of it) a one-day international. So 50 overs in total, and it looked like we were way too far behind to catch up.

APinkAndSpottyGiraffey · 30/04/2026 15:25

TheFallenMadonna · 29/04/2026 21:58

My daughter is diabetic and if she has to eat, she has to eat. And check her phone in fact. She tries to prepare quiet hypo treatments before the performance starts though.

I think if you're a regular theatre goer, then just standing for exceptional performance might make sense. If its more of an occasion, the experience can be really different and quite intense though. I rather like the shared experience of genuine appreciation. I think it's quite moving.

Dextrose energy tablets or a bottle of oj. Both are near silent. As a diabetic theatre goer…