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MIL 23 years in uk doesn’t speak a word of English!!!!!!!

108 replies

Aidensmum123 · 29/04/2026 18:03

Am I right to find this crazy and infuriating!

when I say doesn’t speak a word of English, i don’t mean her English I bad.

I almost literally mean won’t speak a word of English!!

other than ok, maybe, good, bye, hi.

oh and she can’t do basic stuff like use email, use banking, etc

its absolutely insane.

now, I usually won’t care as not my business, but she has been forcing me, her daughter and my husband to constantly translate for her and do admin work for her. Before us, it was her ex.

this takes sometimes HOURS!!!!!

FOR YEARS.

appointments, online shopping, tax returns, banking, etc etc etc etc

when we are out it’s constantly what did he say, what did she say

calls and text everyday, make appointment for me, I need to buy this online, I need to send this email etc etc

It got to point recently she began shoving phone in our face, do this.

we showed how to use google translate and translate page she still insists she can’t work computer and do any of this.

She is treating us like her personal secretary.

(her sibling same age who lived in uk 10 years speaks English and she was housewife for 12 years to well off man she could of learned then)

I had enough and stopped but my husband and his sister can’t because she is their mum.

like “oh she’ll get in trouble if she doesn’t pay this on time! Or this appointment is very important for her health! It’ll just be quick”

my husband signed her up for English classes she would skip them. He said he will only help if she tries learning English 10 minutes a day. She got very angry and began yelling at him fine!!! Fine!

Her sister who lives with her confirmed she isn’t. She watches tv and YouTube all day on couch in her free time.

we realise this is our fault to enabling this so we decided to set boundaries.

we confronted her about this and said either you will learn English or you will pay us or hire someone for your services. We have been enabling you and please understand this cannot continue. This takes up a lot of our time. We feel used.

She then tells if we do this, she will cut contact with the grandkids and my sister in law disabled son!!! And they will never see her again.

she hasn’t spoken to them in months how and the kids are upset asking why and they want to see her.

the grandkids love her so much.

am I right to be very disgusted by all this.

sorry I’m just so annoyed and ranting

OP posts:
Aidensmum123 · 29/04/2026 18:13

KittenSu · 29/04/2026 18:11

OP, yes it does sound irritating.

What was her educational level in her home country? Do you think she is embarrassed generally of her academic abilities and is avoiding learning because she’s scared of humiliation?

It is incredibly isolating for her. Have you managed to ask her why she didn’t try and learn?

How old is she? If she is much older, this will be a struggle for her to learn now.

She was a primary school teacher!

uni degree

she also gives kids here in uk private language lessons

OP posts:
canuckup · 29/04/2026 18:13

Which language does she actually parlé?

Motnight · 29/04/2026 18:12

Let her children deal with MIL. Drop the rope quietly.

LittlePinkWeed · 29/04/2026 18:11

Can she read and write in her native language? Might be masking that she's not adept at that, which would make learning another language even more difficult.

KittenSu · 29/04/2026 18:11

OP, yes it does sound irritating.

What was her educational level in her home country? Do you think she is embarrassed generally of her academic abilities and is avoiding learning because she’s scared of humiliation?

It is incredibly isolating for her. Have you managed to ask her why she didn’t try and learn?

How old is she? If she is much older, this will be a struggle for her to learn now.

Isekaied · 29/04/2026 18:11

YANBU

Ilikewinter · 29/04/2026 18:08

Well I agree with you OP but I hope you've got a tin hat on 😁

Locutus2000 · 29/04/2026 18:06

Yikes. This will go well.

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