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Found out I have half brother my mum stopped my dad from seeing

231 replies

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 15:33

Hey guys

a few months ago I learned from a relative that I have a half brother one year older than me.

my father fathered a child in Russia when working there.

the story is allegedly my mother learned about him when she was about to give birth to me.

Allegedly the woman kept quiet she was pregnant and till the kid was one and then decided to tell my dad when my mum was about to give birth to me.

my father kept in contact by phone and visited him till I was 3/4. Think this Lady didnt know about me/my mum, not sure.

then one day she calls mother told her over the phone when she called “it was your choice to give birth. You were 38, last chance to have a kid. You wanted the kid for yourself so now raise him yourself” and hanged up.

some time later this woman called my mother had her friend say wrong phone number, this phone was sold.

my father never spoke to him after that. I guess he thought she disappeared again and wanted nothing to do with him? Idk? I am not sure if he continued paying child support.

now obviously you can’t stop a father who wants to see his kid but my father is a very weird man. He also has a relationship with my other much older half sister from previous marriage because her mother kept in contact. I really believe if my mother didn’t do this he would still be in contact with this boy.

now my mother says

it’s not her fault she found while married and pregnant he has a kid and she was very sick of this woman being annoying and calling non stop, very often, for hours when they were busy chatting about their son. Says “I was just sick of her calling constantly! We couldn’t get anything done! Maybe if she didn’t call everyday and wasn’t so annoying!!!”

I don’t know how to feel about all this. I am disturbed my mother did this. Am I right to think this was very cruel? And look at her differently now? My sister says I’m over reacting.

OP posts:
MandyMotherOfBrian · 29/04/2026 16:33

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:23

Where am I making excuses for him?

did you miss the part I said I haven’t spoken to him in decade.

im just disgusted my mother did what she did, I expected better from her

You’re excusing him by looking for someone else to blame for something that is wholly 100% his fault.
Even if she did tell the woman to leave them alone, so what? The waste of skin that fathered you made his own choices after that point about whether to see and support yet another child he’d fathered or not. He chose not.

What did you expect your mother to do? Welcome her with open arms? In the circumstances under which she discovered this information and a time in her life when she was also vulnerable? There would also have been an element of her protecting you, her small child.

You’re disgusted by her? I imagine she is equally disgusted by you.

Let’s hope, if you ever find yourself in a situation where a man treats you in the way your father has treated multiple women and children, other women aren’t queuing up to place the blame squarely upon your shoulders.

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:33

InterIgnis · 29/04/2026 16:30

You’re expecting a lot from someone that has just had her world turned upside down by the actions of your father. She was almost undoubtedly in shock, and suddenly finding herself having to deal with a relationship and family that had been totally destabilized out of nowhere. Her priority was you, and it’s very likely that she saw this woman as someone that was threatening to destroy the life she had put all her effort into building. She responded in very human way. You specifically speak of compassion for this woman, yet you seem to have none for your mother.

Your mother wasn’t denying her anything she was entitled to. The only person doing that was your father, who was also denying your mother respect as his wife.

At any point he could have taken action to lessen the distress that was obviously being caused to your mother. He could have been honest with her from the beginning. He could have put boundaries in place regarding the phone calls. He could have retrieved this woman’s number and put actual effort into having a relationship with his child. He didn’t.

She didn’t just find out.

she picked up my dads phone 4 years later and tells this woman this.

also decades later she says she did the right thing.

OP posts:
InterIgnis · 29/04/2026 16:33

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:29

It was one of those top up credit phones

and even if he could of called that doesn’t change fact what my mother said to this woman

He could have called customer service and retrieved the number that way.

Your mother was lashing out in distress.

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:30

ClashCityRocker · 29/04/2026 16:28

So your father impregnated the lady in question before he and your mum were together, and then it came to light that he had another biological child around the time you were born?

I'm kind of surprised by some of the responses, if it wasn't an affair baby.

I can imagine it being an awful position for your mother to be in and she probably wasn't being rational about it but yeah she didn't act brilliantly there - if it all happened as you think.

Yes, I would very horrible and sorry for my mother. It is a horrible situation.

but what she said to that woman who never did anything to her feels very cruel and unnecessary

I get not being rational, but decades later she now keeps saying she doesn’t regret saying what she did. (Even though her and my dad broke up 2 years later anyway)

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 29/04/2026 16:30

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 15:48

MY FATHER DIDNT CHEAT ON MY MUM. HE MET MY MUM AFTER THIS WOMAN.

ALSO SHE DELETED HER PHONE NUMBER AND WHEN MY DAD TRIED TRAVELLING TO RUSSIA THE WOMAN NO LONGER LIVED THERE

How old is this alleged half brother of yours?

InterIgnis · 29/04/2026 16:30

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:17

every Human is entitled to basic humanity

telling a single mother “get lost he asked me to tell you he doesn’t want anything to do with your kid” is just disgusting.

also she wasn’t harassing my mom, she was calling my dads phone. And no, she wasn’t even told “no” once.

You’re expecting a lot from someone that has just had her world turned upside down by the actions of your father. She was almost undoubtedly in shock, and suddenly finding herself having to deal with a relationship and family that had been totally destabilized out of nowhere. Her priority was you, and it’s very likely that she saw this woman as someone that was threatening to destroy the life she had put all her effort into building. She responded in very human way. You specifically speak of compassion for this woman, yet you seem to have none for your mother.

Your mother wasn’t denying her anything she was entitled to. The only person doing that was your father, who was also denying your mother respect as his wife.

At any point he could have taken action to lessen the distress that was obviously being caused to your mother. He could have been honest with her from the beginning. He could have put boundaries in place regarding the phone calls. He could have retrieved this woman’s number and put actual effort into having a relationship with his child. He didn’t.

Tableforjoan · 29/04/2026 16:30

Again op you’ve never said anything in anger you’ve ever regretted?

Never lashed out verbally when you shouldn’t have.

But most people realise nobody is perfect.

She didn’t wish her harm she wished her to fuck off.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 29/04/2026 16:30

How did your mum know that she was 'a single mother'? The baby was a year old, she might well have been in another relationship and just wanted to speak to the father of her child whilst being extremely happy and fulfilled in her life.

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:29

MyMilchick · 29/04/2026 16:28

You totally skipped the part of that persons post where they point out that the number would not have been lost as it would have been on your fathers phone bills .........

It was one of those top up credit phones

and even if he could of called that doesn’t change fact what my mother said to this woman

OP posts:
ClashCityRocker · 29/04/2026 16:28

So your father impregnated the lady in question before he and your mum were together, and then it came to light that he had another biological child around the time you were born?

I'm kind of surprised by some of the responses, if it wasn't an affair baby.

I can imagine it being an awful position for your mother to be in and she probably wasn't being rational about it but yeah she didn't act brilliantly there - if it all happened as you think.

Tableforjoan · 29/04/2026 16:28

I’m sure she doesn’t need sympathy from someone so closed minded. 😅

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:28

Minnie798 · 29/04/2026 16:24

Her mother is still living the nightmare by the sounds of it. Her own daughter is placing blame ( wrongly ) on her for a man's complete incapability to handle his own shit.

Tell me this.

Picking up my fathers phone and telling a single mother on the phone “get lost he said he wants nothing to do with you”

is this ok?

OP posts:
MyMilchick · 29/04/2026 16:28

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:23

Where am I making excuses for him?

did you miss the part I said I haven’t spoken to him in decade.

im just disgusted my mother did what she did, I expected better from her

You totally skipped the part of that persons post where they point out that the number would not have been lost as it would have been on your fathers phone bills .........

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:27

BudgetBuster · 29/04/2026 16:22

You are choosing parts of the story to believe though

Again, none if it matters.

Your Dad fathered multiple children and has evidently failed multiple children. Your mothers only fault was choosing him as a partner, unfortunately.

Why you are so angry about your poor mother who had to live this nightmare is just beyond me.

you really believe telling a single mother “get lost he wants nothing to do with you” is ok?

my father being horrible makes it what she said to her?

she lost my sympathy when she said this

OP posts:
MNLurker1345 · 29/04/2026 16:26

Death by a thousand cuts!

BudgetBuster · 29/04/2026 16:25

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:23

Where am I making excuses for him?

did you miss the part I said I haven’t spoken to him in decade.

im just disgusted my mother did what she did, I expected better from her

Maybe stop having such ludicrous expectations then

Minnie798 · 29/04/2026 16:24

BudgetBuster · 29/04/2026 16:22

You are choosing parts of the story to believe though

Again, none if it matters.

Your Dad fathered multiple children and has evidently failed multiple children. Your mothers only fault was choosing him as a partner, unfortunately.

Why you are so angry about your poor mother who had to live this nightmare is just beyond me.

Her mother is still living the nightmare by the sounds of it. Her own daughter is placing blame ( wrongly ) on her for a man's complete incapability to handle his own shit.

Tableforjoan · 29/04/2026 16:24

You’re expecting better of your mother because she’s normally a lovely person. She had one mad rant and now she’s the devil.

But you’re expecting more of her than the child’s own parent.

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:23

SnappyQuoter · 29/04/2026 16:15

The phone number would have been on your phone bills. So it wasn’t gone. Your dad could have called her. Stop making excuses for him.

Where am I making excuses for him?

did you miss the part I said I haven’t spoken to him in decade.

im just disgusted my mother did what she did, I expected better from her

OP posts:
BudgetBuster · 29/04/2026 16:22

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:19

My mother literally said this.

I asked her if she tried at least setting boundaries first. Asking dad to tell her less calls. She said no, she just one day picked up my dads phone and told her this

Edited

You are choosing parts of the story to believe though

Again, none if it matters.

Your Dad fathered multiple children and has evidently failed multiple children. Your mothers only fault was choosing him as a partner, unfortunately.

Why you are so angry about your poor mother who had to live this nightmare is just beyond me.

Tableforjoan · 29/04/2026 16:22

Also rather odd that this random women would accept just being told once by a women who she allegedly knew nothing off to disappear and then she just did.

You’ve never made a mistake op? Never told someone to just fuck off and leave you alone in anger?

One sentence from your mother shouldn’t of been able to kill the relationship

MyMilchick · 29/04/2026 16:21

SnappyQuoter · 29/04/2026 16:15

The phone number would have been on your phone bills. So it wasn’t gone. Your dad could have called her. Stop making excuses for him.

exactly this.................

JugglingMyNuts · 29/04/2026 16:20

You want people to agree your mum is unforgivable. Unfortunately that isn’t going your way.

Let’s say people agree (which most don’t) what does that give you? What do you want from this?

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:19

BudgetBuster · 29/04/2026 16:18

She wasn't even told no once

It's handy that you can personally recall all the facts so well

My mother literally said this.

I asked her if she tried at least setting boundaries first. Asking dad to tell her less calls. She said no, she just one day picked up my dads phone and told her this

OP posts:
MNLurker1345 · 29/04/2026 16:19

OP, listen to PPs. Your DM has done nothing wrong and you are an enabler for your DFs past behaviour.

I bet you wish you hadn’t posted. Ask for your thread to be removed.