This is off isn't it?

Well, not an unreasonable expectation considering the loan and subsequent statement they wanted to thank you. Very cheeky of them.

who invited you, the wife or the husband?

My theory is that the wife wanted to take you out and the husband didn't and said they couldn't afford it, which they maybe couldn't, if they just set up a new home.

He didn't want to go back on wife's invite but thought he could save a few bob by getting you to buy the drinks. He was probably hoping you'd offer. When we took PILs out for dinner recently as a thank you, they insisted on getting the drinks.

When you didn't, he suggested it. He may well feel crappy about it.

Presumably they are close, valued friends for you to have lent them all that money in the first place, so I'd just let it go

We had a similar situation; my husband did quite a lot of work (he’s a tradesman) for some ‘friends’ of ours and said he didn’t want to take any money for it so the agreement was that they’d take us out for dinner instead as a thank you. When the bill came the agreement was strangely forgotten about and the other couple paid for themselves, leaving us to pay our half. Safe to say we haven’t been out with them since and there will be no more work freebies!!

Yes, I think you are. Does them having money mean the OPs should be made an absolute arse of by cheeky bastards they already went above and beyond to help?

Being well off doesn’t mean you should accept being taken advantage of 🤷🏻‍♀️

Awful, never heard of such odd behaviour. I think they are mad.

Ive read OPs posts and cant see its been mentioned - was this asked BEFORE ordering or after?

If before then its kind of on you that the drinks bill went as high as it did

I went to one wedding like this and wish I hadn't bothered. Made so much effort to get there and gave a generous gift. Then to be charged for drinks at the bar was urrgh. Not even a big drinker.

What your friends did was odd. Depends on how badly you want to know why. You could always ask the wife? Regardless at the moment, there's a shift in the relationship. You may or may not be able to look past it.

They should absolutely have paid the whole bill. Without you they wouldn’t have the house and you didn’t charge them interest. They’re cheeky fuckers!

I would raise an eyebrow but wouldn’t make a Mumsnet post - maybe that makes me the weird one but if the money could disappear from my account without me even noticing, I wouldn’t be rethinking 20 years of friendship over it!

I'd say the poster who accused the OP of being "grabby" is wondering the same.

Being fortunate doesn't mean you have to be happy with people treating you shabbily. You yourself are probably more fortunate than a lot of people in the world. But I bet that doesn't stop you being annoyed if someone is rude to you or doesn't pay their fair share or takes you for granted.

Absolutely, and we'd have done the same if the situation was reversed.

You don't invite someone out for dinner and expect them to pay, under any circumstances.

Am I the only one wondering why you give a shit about 35% of a restaurant bill when you have substantially north of 100k spare to loan out??

I would get a grip with how fortunate you are 😳

The thing is I don't think its intentionally cheeky because they didn't need to invite them out at all. I think it's more that on the night it just got turned into more of a regular meal out rather than a full treat somehow. Possibly partly due to inebriation?

But they did pay for more than half.

This. My god.

Yes. Cheeky.

They weren’t short of cash, they had a cash flow timing issue that was presumably resolved by the time they went for dinner.

You did them a massive favour. They were being miserly by passing you the drinks tab.

It would give me the ick for our future friendship for sure!

The worst part is that down the line they will remember is as 'they took you out' and forget the part where you paid for the drinks. Really sad to see people with money behave like this. Maybe that's how they get rich in the first place!

Sorry tagged the wrong quote, should’ve been @TutTutTutSigh

AKA as decent friends and people!

Yeah, it’s really cheeky.

She shouldn’t have said they want to take you out for food. She should’ve just asked if you all wanted to go out for a meal, then there would be no expectation that they would pay.

Definitely cheeky

Terrible form. We rented a house out to a couple of friends who were in between house purchases. Not only did they leave the house better than they found it (loved interior design and spent their own money doing so) but took us out for a meal after they moved out and paid in full. These were paying tenants who owed us nothing.

Yes I think if you take someone out for dinner you pay the whole bill. However if they are good friends I wouldn’t get too upset about it. They paid the larger part of the bill and they have paid you back within the time expected. I would assume they wanted to say thank you and enjoy your company but perhaps they are still short of money and it was the best they could do at the moment without skimping on the wine!