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AIBU?

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Original poster

This is off isn't it?

354 replies

coulditbeme2323 · 29/04/2026 15:29

Husband and I loaned another couple a significant amount of money as if we didn't their dream home would have fallen through. All properly drawn up, and to be fair was for a short period of time as in just under 3 months.

All paid back two weeks ago as agreed (no interest by the way as it might matter) and friend text saying we want to take you our to dinner to say thanks.

Didn't expect or want that, but lovely gesture.

Went to a very nice place Saturday and other husband said to my husband I'll get the food and you get the wine/drinks. Now to put into context the wine/drinks were about 35% of the bill so other couple paid 65%.

Now it's not the money, and it was a lovely evening, and I would never mention to my friend, but is that a bit cheeky?

OP posts:
WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 29/04/2026 16:06

Spottyvases · 29/04/2026 15:46

Hehe. Well you all sound very rich and focussed on Money.

Never mix business and friendship.

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You say ‘rich’ like it’s an insult?

nixon1976 · 29/04/2026 16:06

They ordered champagne???

Flowerlovinglady · 29/04/2026 16:06

Yes it is cheeky - they didn't take you out for dinner really if they expected you to pay for any part of it. Some people just don't know how to or are too tight to offer a generous thank you. You are now free to adjust your involvement with them or overlook it, depending on how the rest of the friendship stacks up.

Aprilmaymum · 29/04/2026 16:05

Your friends are being unreasonable how they can invite you out to say thanks and then except you to pick up the drinks tab is not fair. I have a couple of friends who we paid a meal for when we were out and they said they would pick up the next meal out. Following week we went out and they went to bar and ordered their food and drinks and not a word to us . It left a sour taste of I am honest. Not a lot of money but you feel a bit wronged.

nixon1976 · 29/04/2026 16:04

Darragon · 29/04/2026 15:33

What??? They paid you back and paid for food. You sound grabby.

How on any planet does OP sound grabby? They did their friends an enormous favour. Dinner out would be the very least I would offer if I was the friend.

You are not wrong, OP

Roads · 29/04/2026 16:04

I'm really struggling to believe this is the first time they have ever done something like this and that it's out of character. I suspect if you think back there will have been many occasions where they have treated you like this.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/04/2026 16:03

He was ordering champagne???? And then he asked you to pay for drinks?

At a meal they’d offered to “take you out for” to say thank you for a huge favour? That’s absolutely scandalous!

Original poster
coulditbeme2323 · 29/04/2026 16:02

DontReplyAll · 29/04/2026 16:01

Ah, that’s even more confusing then.

I’d be assuming that finances are still not in a good place. Maybe invite them for dinner at your next time, save their blushes.

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Their finances are in an excellent place, and I do mean excellent!

OP posts:
Witchonenowbob · 29/04/2026 16:02

coulditbeme2323 · 29/04/2026 16:00

I mean we had a decent drink - but it was her husband ordering the champagne etc!

But as you say they paid back, all is good, no harm done.

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Of course it bloody was! Typical grabby people!!

DontReplyAll · 29/04/2026 16:01

coulditbeme2323 · 29/04/2026 15:58

No, I would say we normally take it in turns to pay.

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Ah, that’s even more confusing then.

I’d be assuming that finances are still not in a good place. Maybe invite them for dinner at your next time, save their blushes.

Gingercar · 29/04/2026 16:01

user1497787065 · 29/04/2026 15:42

I suppose it really depends on whether it is 10k or 100k.

What? Someone who lends you £10k doesn’t deserve as much of a thank you?!

I think it was pretty poor of them. If they were struggling financially they could have picked a cheaper restaurant or cooked at home instead of making themselves look mean or rude!

Id have liked to reply “I thought this night out was a thank you treat, not BYOB!?” or something, but probably wouldn’t have!

MyMilchick · 29/04/2026 16:01

user1497787065 · 29/04/2026 15:42

I suppose it really depends on whether it is 10k or 100k.

It really doesn't. They would have lost the house had OP not bailed them out. They then asked them out to dinner to say thank you which would imply they planned to pay the entire bill, not just part of it.

Witchonenowbob · 29/04/2026 16:01

Darragon · 29/04/2026 15:33

What??? They paid you back and paid for food. You sound grabby.

What??? They charged no interest and they offered to take them out to dinner! Are you grabby?

Threesloths · 29/04/2026 16:01

TheAutumnCrow · 29/04/2026 15:38

You're not wrong at all.

You saved their bacon with the huge loan.

You saved them a substantial amount of interest.

They bought you a bit of grub - but on the very late and imposed condition that you paid for them to have free drinks.

So they got paid 'interest' but you didn't. They are massive cheeky fuckers.

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Aren’t they just.

Beyondjourneysend · 29/04/2026 16:00

My guess is miscommunication between friend wife and husband - she invited you as thank you. And he thought you were just out for a nice meal together. He thought he was being generous in paying for most but not undermining your husband whom he thought was offering to pay by coming to bar with him.

But I always assume everyone has the best intentions. It makes my life more pleasant.

Is wife good enough friend you can ask her does she know your DH paid for drinks?

Original poster
coulditbeme2323 · 29/04/2026 16:00

Happyjoe · 29/04/2026 15:58

Maybe you drink too much and they didn't want to pay all of that?! Grins.

Nah, it's fine. Bit strange as not what you'd expect but you guys still had a nice night together? Tbh, I kinda expect this thread to say they never paid back, but they did and on time, pretty good.

I mean we had a decent drink - but it was her husband ordering the champagne etc!

But as you say they paid back, all is good, no harm done.

OP posts:
Roads · 29/04/2026 16:00

Happyjoe · 29/04/2026 15:58

Maybe you drink too much and they didn't want to pay all of that?! Grins.

Nah, it's fine. Bit strange as not what you'd expect but you guys still had a nice night together? Tbh, I kinda expect this thread to say they never paid back, but they did and on time, pretty good.

Drinks too expensive? They just lent them over 100k without expectation of interest upon repayment. There's no drinks that are too expensive to result in such poor behaviour.

I'm genuinely amazed anyone is trying to justify it.

Fernhurst · 29/04/2026 16:00

coulditbeme2323 · 29/04/2026 15:34

I can see how it sounds that way, and as I said we didn't expect a thankyou.

But it was a significant amount of money we loaned them, but more importantly when somebody says "they want to take you out for dinner to say thank you" I would take that as 100% of the bill.

But happy to be told I am wrong.

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No you're not wrong. You did them a huge favour. They should have paid for all of it as it was their offer to say thank you

Happyjoe · 29/04/2026 15:58

Maybe you drink too much and they didn't want to pay all of that?! Grins.

Nah, it's fine. Bit strange as not what you'd expect but you guys still had a nice night together? Tbh, I kinda expect this thread to say they never paid back, but they did and on time, pretty good.

busyd4y · 29/04/2026 15:58

Darragon · 29/04/2026 15:33

What??? They paid you back and paid for food. You sound grabby.

You think it's grabby to accept a meal from someone you've made an interest free life saving loan to?

Are you generally a doormat?

Original poster
coulditbeme2323 · 29/04/2026 15:58

DontReplyAll · 29/04/2026 15:57

I assume you usually split the bill? Could it just have been habit on his part?

(though personally I’d find it really had to forget that friends funded my house purchase!)

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No, I would say we normally take it in turns to pay.

OP posts:
Paganpentacle · 29/04/2026 15:58

Eastie77Returns · 29/04/2026 15:31

I’m confused. Cheeky that they paid 65% of the bill? Were you expecting them to pick up the entire bill?

I mean... that was the offer? To say thanks for lending them money (interest free) ?

So yeah... I'd expect them to pay in full TBH.

Weeelokthen · 29/04/2026 15:57

Darragon · 29/04/2026 15:33

What??? They paid you back and paid for food. You sound grabby.

😂

DontReplyAll · 29/04/2026 15:57

coulditbeme2323 · 29/04/2026 15:48

No they are great, generous, and it was out of character.

It's not a massive issue at all, just interested to hear what other think.

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I assume you usually split the bill? Could it just have been habit on his part?

(though personally I’d find it really had to forget that friends funded my house purchase!)

Itsanewlife · 29/04/2026 15:56

Even at a conservative estimate you lost 1000s of pounds of interest on your loan, and they make you pay for wine? Really graceless!