AIBU noisy children

We're a doomed. 😕

Indeed. The last time we travelled from London to Brighton (we usually drive but decided on the train as a “treat”) we were unfortunate enough to be in the same carriage as a Hen party of women who had clearly been drinking (I love a drink btw) long before they got on the train. Everyone was looking on in horror and embarrassment as they wove their way up and down the carriage screaming and shouting and recounting very private stories about their sex lives. One then threw up all over the floor and down herself. This was the bride-to-be and this was at about 11am. No one told them to pipe down.

It does make you wonder. We’re all paying the price for all this gentle/permissive parenting malarkey where children are not told “no”

We’re all paying the price for this gentle/permissive parenting malarkey where children are not told “no”.

The issue is that you can’t expect children to behave differently when the teenagers and adults around them are noisy, rude and disrespectful. It isn’t the children who make all of the noise on the trains I travel on - its teens, young people watching tiktoks, drunk men on the way to sporting events and hen parties who’ve already warmed up before getting on the mid afternoon train and are even worse on the return. All ‘good natured’ but we used to have guards who would corral these groups into one carriage and manage down the behaviour. Guards are only interested in issuing ticket fines for travelling on the wrong route and people don’t care that their group is disruptive.

And don’t get me started on the early morning commuters with their conference calls, business meetings and snotty re manspreading or the women applying full make up, and the full macDonalds meals…

Sigh. I am getting old. But noise excluding earbuds do help.

We and they were taught how to behave. That all seems so sadly outdated nowadays.

YABU to expect different behaviour from them just because they’re in first class (kids have equal entitlement to be there if parents have paid for it) but definitely NBU to expect him to wear headphones regardless of where they are sitting. I would have asked immediately when the iPad without headphones went on, completely unacceptable.

Kids are different and some find it easier to keep still and quiet than others. Mine are restless kids and so was I. I don’t think we should be judgy that a 5 year old needs some sort of entertainment for something long and dull like a train journey.

But there are plenty of options for the twitchy type of kid that don’t disturb others - books, colouring, chatting. Or headphones if need be. And if these options aren’t suitable (like in a wedding ceremony) then the answer is you don’t take the child.

Sadly this is where I am at nowadays. People really don’t seem to understand that they should watch their devices using earbuds and lower their voices when taking calls. Seen many a fight almost break out over this lately.

DH and I, and both our children (18 and 21) have given up expecting polite consideration and have all bought noise excluding headphones and earbuds. We take our seats, plug-in and ignore everyone now. No point trying to fight it as no one really cares anymore.

Same here

Absolutely. I asked someone if they’d had a nice time at a recent wedding. They said they had but that it was difficult to keep the 5 year-old “entertained” during the service. wtf? My kids would’ve known to sit quietly as would my sister and me as children.

In public, no headphones=no tablet/phone. Quite simple etiquette really.
We are dragging up a generation of entitled kids and it's drving me crazy 😤

Be brave and ask if they have headphones for the tablet.

I really really REALLY hate this increasingly common behaviour of playing phones and tablets out loud and expecting everyone else to either put up with it or have to wear headphones themselves to block it out. Headphones should be mandatory if you want to listen to something IMO (I’ve seen signs recently on the Tube to this effect and hope it catches on).

However, I think this applies equally in regular carriages as in first.

Perhaps they’ve paid for first class because they want a bit more space as well.

First class =/= quiet

I seem to remember that when booking train tickets you can request the quiet carriage but you can't request not to sit on the quiet carriage. It's not always obvious that it's the quiet carriage.

I’d expect people with kids to assume if you’ve paid for a first class ticket then you want something a bit more comfortable without unnecessary noise.

I would tell my kid to be quiet in any class carriage. It’s so rude to disturb others. Normal chat fine, singing loudly no.

I don’t get the incessant need for children to be constantly entertained in public spaces such as transport, restaurants etc. I took my children out and about before tablets etc were a thing. We sat and talked to them and they were taught to sit and behave. I’m not saying they were angels and never tested boundaries but they knew there were consequences if they misbehaved.