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Original poster

Is this a strange/offencive gift?

140 replies

moanycoo · 29/04/2026 12:55

I have a client couple whom ive got to know over a few years. I see them weekly at home.
I got to know and love their Dcat. All our chats were about her, always made a big fuss each week. Cat died, quite young suddenly a couple of months ago. The couple just got engaged.
Here's the question... I am a very amateur artist. I joined a club and have painted the cat. Now it looks quite good, i'm really chuffed. Its not an uncanny resemblance but you can tell its her. Could I cause offence by framing it and gifting it to them as part of their engagement gift? Thoughtful or weird??

OP posts:
ThatDreamyDuck · 02/05/2026 21:21

Follow your heart and instinct. If it comes from the heart and they don't like it, thats ok. Up to them

LemonPenguin · 02/05/2026 21:07

I would have been really touched by this after my dog died OP, I think it’s a lovely idea

albhub · 02/05/2026 21:06

It depends whether it actually looks like the cat or not!
If it only vaguely looks like the cat I wouldn't give it to them at all and if it is a good resemblance I'd give it to them but not as an engagement present because that is a bit weird.

Someone made me a poster of a photo of me and my DCat after he died. He died young too. It was a lovely thought but the whole thing was so painful and I haven't been able to hang it up anywhere even though it's a really nice photo.
They might not want or be able to hang up your painting of their cat for that reason.

NannaKaren · 02/05/2026 21:05

How thoughtful- gift it to them 🥰

WeAreNotOk · 02/05/2026 20:59

Give them the picture now and I'm sure they'll love it, but defo not as an engagement gift. Engagements are a celebration, it would not be appropriate to gift a picture of their dead cat at this time.

Itislate · 02/05/2026 20:51

Original art is a lovely gift.

SingedSoul · 02/05/2026 20:43

What job do you do? I can't understand why all that you and your clients talked about was their cat. It must have been pretty spectacular.

Mitzuko · 02/05/2026 20:36

Not offensive, but not suitable for an engagement

Linnende · 02/05/2026 20:35

I personally would be over the moon with such a lovely gesture. I am unsure why so many people disagree. You sound like such a lovely, kind and thoughtful person. The world could do with a few more people like you. Just give them your beautiful gift🥰xx

godmum56 · 02/05/2026 20:27

fluffiphlox · 29/04/2026 17:29

Most amateur art isn’t quite as good as the perpetrator thinks it is.

perpetrator..... hahahahahaha

Zov · 02/05/2026 20:19

Sounds a nice thought@moanycoo and I wouldn't be offended... but it seems an odd gift for an engagement gift.... If you do it, then please don't put a note in saying 'this is for your DCAT.' 😬

I'm just messin' 😊 but why do people put D before cat on here, and dog etc???

.

Weirdgoldfish · 02/05/2026 20:12

Charlenedickens · 02/05/2026 20:05

It’s not a competition. Your comment is distasteful. All you had to say is yes. And if you had you’d know how traumatic it is.

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I did say 'yes'. I find your comment distasteful.

Charlenedickens · 02/05/2026 20:05

Weirdgoldfish · 02/05/2026 20:01

Yes. I've also lost pets in old age which for me was more heartbreaking.

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It’s not a competition. Your comment is distasteful. All you had to say is yes. And if you had you’d know how traumatic it is.

HideousKinky · 02/05/2026 20:03

My DD's mother-in-law who is quite an accomplished artist painted a picture of my cat and gave it to me as a gift.

It was very kind of her and I really appreciate the thoughtfulness - BUT - it's not my cat. The fur is beautifully done but the face is not remotely like my cat's face. It is a very nice painting of a cat, just not my cat.

So I am left with the problem others have mentioned where I feel obliged to make sure it is on show when she visits but otherwise do not really want to display it

Weirdgoldfish · 02/05/2026 20:01

Charlenedickens · 02/05/2026 19:47

Have you ever lost a pet young and suddenly?

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Yes. I've also lost pets in old age which for me was more heartbreaking.

FateAmenableToChange · 02/05/2026 19:55

Its a lovely gift but not associated with their engagement. Just give it to them, and dont bother with an engagement gift.

Charlenedickens · 02/05/2026 19:47

Weirdgoldfish · 02/05/2026 19:43

As a dog lover I'd love such a gift. I know they are a young couple but I don't see how they could find it offensive. They don't have to have it on show in their living room even, they could put it somewhere private. Go for it!

Have you ever lost a pet young and suddenly?

Charlenedickens · 02/05/2026 19:46

My dog died suddenly young op. Some friends gave me photos they had, I hated it, it upset me so so much, it took me a long time to look at photos of him without being upset. Losing a pet can be brutal, I’d really tread carefully here. I think putting in a card or sending the picture is really tactless. Reminding them of their loss. Wait for a good amount of time, then offer it.

Zanatdy · 02/05/2026 19:45

Personally i’d be delighted to receive such a thoughtful gift

Weirdgoldfish · 02/05/2026 19:43

As a dog lover I'd love such a gift. I know they are a young couple but I don't see how they could find it offensive. They don't have to have it on show in their living room even, they could put it somewhere private. Go for it!

Isittimeformynapyet · 02/05/2026 19:37

I'm surprised that only @Poulaphooka has asked the question "are engagement presents even a thing?"

Are they?? I'm in my late 50s and have never heard of it beyond, perhaps, immediate family 🤔

DeeKitch · 02/05/2026 19:30

This is adorable 🥰

Imisscoffee2021 · 02/05/2026 19:10

It's not an appropriate engagement gift. Those gifts are positive and looking to the future sort of gifts, if indeed ppl need engagement gifts at all, I'm not so sure. Maybe a great bottle of whisky or champagne to toast future wedding etc but no, not a painting if their cat.

It's a lovely gift to just give in friendship however anytime.

OneRubyViper · 02/05/2026 19:03

Maybe just try asking them if they would appreciate a picture of the cat or not

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 02/05/2026 18:55

Personally I would love it BUT me and my husband are fucking weird. If someone gave me this I would try and acquire them as a friend.