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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel night out because I don’t like one of the women coming?

134 replies

rollingback · 29/04/2026 12:37

I don’t get out much so probably why I’m overthinking!

Going out in a group of five of us. One of the five is dour, miserable and sarcastic. I don’t like her and I think the feeling is reciprocated.

On the other hand I do like the others and it would be nice to go out. Part of me thinks it’s silly to go if I’m not going to enjoy it much but another part thinks I shouldn’t let one rude person dictate my social life.

OP posts:
W0tnow · 29/04/2026 12:44

I know someone exactly like this and face this dilemma from time to time.

5 or more of you? I’d go.
4? Maybe not. Depends on who the others were.
3 definitely not.

Sashya · 29/04/2026 12:43

OP - this is completely silly. You are a group of 5 - you don't need to spend the night talking to the one person you don't like. There are 3 other friends there.
Plus - the group dynamics are different from one-on-one.

Don't use this as an excuse to be stuck in your shell. Go out!!!

Original poster
rollingback · 29/04/2026 12:43

I can’t really ignore her as we talk as a group when we go out (I’ve probably explained that badly but I mean I don’t talk to Jenny while Susan talks to Rachel, we’re all talking as a group.)

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · 29/04/2026 12:43

I’d go I think. Does she direct her sternness at you or is she just a bad vibe sitting in the corner?

LuckyNumberFive · 29/04/2026 12:42

I think if you're in a group and start declining the events where she's present that eventually you'll just stop getting invited and the group will drift.

I'd suck it up and just be civil but no friendly.

AbbieDabbieDoo · 29/04/2026 12:42

I had a similar situation recently, but there was absolutely no way I was going to miss a rare night out! I gave chatgpt a bit of info on the problematic attendee and the kind of comments she makes and it gave me a brilliant list of comebacks to have up my sleeve!

minipie · 29/04/2026 12:41

Well it depends on whether you think you’d still enjoy the evening or whether her being there would ruin it for you. In your shoes I’d go, try to avoid being sat next to her and focus on chatting to the others (without being rude).

WallaceinAnderland · 29/04/2026 12:40

I can't see any reason not to go from what you've posted

MissMoneyFairy · 29/04/2026 12:39

Can you just pass pleasantries and ignore her the rest of the evening, it's only a few hours