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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it would be almost impossible to work FT as a single mum?

106 replies

singlemamaofone · 28/04/2026 12:17

As title. I’m a single mum to a toddler. My child lives with me 100% of the time, we currently live with my parents. I have a great support network but I am ‘solo’ in the sense that all the parenting defaults to me, if she is unwell or needs time off, I’ll be the only one who can do it. I really love my job. I’ve done 3 days since going back to work but would love to maybe do 4 in the ideal situation, but can’t help but think that will just be harder to cover, school holidays/absence from childcare wise, and then I’d have to pay for more childcare as the funded hours wouldn’t be worth it. I’m not a high earner by any means but earn just too much for any support with it. If I dropped my hours further, I’d get support, but that defeats the point as I wouldn’t need it. Also trying to think long term for my career and pension and the future I will hopefully one day build for us.

How do other single parents do it? Is it going to be much easier to just continue to do 3 in this situation?

OP posts:
Lifestooshort71 · 28/04/2026 12:28

My daughter was in a similar situation but lived with 6-month old in own house. I had GC one day a week but, because I still worked, couldn't do more at the time. GC went to a nursery from 6m (when she had to go to work) for the rest of the days and, when The Knob left to live with his OW, she extended nursery hrs to give her time to travel and work full time and still do drop offs. If GC was ill, they still went to nursery (upset tum, she took parental/annual leave). When GC started at school, the routine was similar as she found someone to do drop offs etc. Holidays? Well, we sort of fudged it, she booked leave, the nursery had them 3 days a week and I still did one. We were extremely lucky that there were no emergencies and that her job gave her slight flexibility (no wfh though). GC now 18 and we managed 😊. Would one/both parents commit to something on a regular basis? Could you afford full-time nursery or a childminder as an extra? A lot of it is to do with finding the right person. Not much advice, I'm sorry, but I do sympathise 💐

MidnightPatrol · 28/04/2026 12:28

Breakfast club and after school club - ours are technically available from 7.30am - 630pm.

singlemamaofone · 28/04/2026 12:28

aquitodavia · 28/04/2026 12:26

Can you work from home at all or have some flexible working? That helps a lot. As does proximity to nursery/school as a PP said.

Only a little. Two days out of three I have to be out the house, sometimes far away as I travel about with my current role. I could be as near as 20 mins from home or as far as an hour. I can’t afford to really live any nearer to work even if I up my hours

OP posts:
aquitodavia · 28/04/2026 12:26

Can you work from home at all or have some flexible working? That helps a lot. As does proximity to nursery/school as a PP said.

SunCreamQueenie · 28/04/2026 12:23

Nursery, Breakfast & after school clubs. I couldn't have afforded my mortgage (had to buy DS dad out) if I'd only worked three days. Not easy, but doable and worth it.

Fluffordirt · 28/04/2026 12:23

Breakfast club and afterschool club when they reach school age, a nursery with good hours beforehand. You do need to make sure you work near where you live though. A big commute makes childcare tricky.