To think it would be almost impossible to work FT as a single mum?

@Clogblog I earn well, I’m not a single mum & my dc are older primary now. But I know the landscape is very different now.

The low earners I know (under 50k) have help in the form of benefits for housing (if renting) & childcare.

Its a bit different now,,,

12 years ago.

How much do you earn though?

Even if it's min wage, it's still a lot more than £25 a day

I don't understand how people afford not to work TBH! I guess it's universal credit top ups

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn but when was this? As I said my school charges £25 a day for wraparound card.

At my DDs school it was £35 per week for before and after school clubs. Compared to the £940 a month I had to pay for FT nursery it felt cheap! I had to switch my mortgage to interest only for 4 years to afford to pay for nursery fees. It was one big massive juggle. Of both money and time. But I was determined not to lose our home. The primary school years were really tough. Long commute. Always tired! But we made it through. It is possible.

Look at childminders rather than nursery. I had a brilliant one and they tend to be a bit more flexible around illness etc (when mine had a sniffle etc childminder was fine, my friend using nursery had issues).

School age use wraparound care and holiday clubs.

Nonsense. A child's needs can be met with a parent or parents who work full time. You may think it's "unfair" for a child to be in full-time childcare, but that doesn't make it true. IMO there's nothing remotely unfair about it.

In some cases though (not necessarily OP) part time help from family/friends may be possible where full time isn't. Less time to cover = better chance of getting cover.

What? Of course it's possible. How could a single mother support herself and her child/ren without a full time job? I'm not a single mother but those I know all work full time. They have good professional careers and manage fine as far as I can see, though they aren't earning huge amounts.

YANBU!

Childminder? Work PT? Grandparents?

There’s other options that nursery.

I’m a single parent and always worked PT when dd was younger, tax credits and child benefit helped keep my head above water.

Its not impossible though, most of my single parent friends work FT.

Yep! And I was left with a £1100 a month mortgage with £700 pcm for childcare! All my friends in P/T jobs got HB and benefits but I would have lost my house. Not a competition but bloody hell it was hard!

I’ve worked full time ever since going back from maternity leave, just needed to financially really. To start with I claimed help towards my rent and childcare (although this was about 10 years ago so appreciate a lot has changed since then!)

since I’ve just worked my absolute ass off for promotions etc and just bought my first home on my own, my DD is now 14. Never had any help with things like when daughter was sick, no help from her dad during school holidays and so on I’ve done 99% of it by myself with the odd day here and there from my mum but I could count those on one hand. I relied on nursery when she was young, then after school and breakfast club until secondary. I live near her school and near my work which helps hugely as I don’t need to factor in a long commute and since lockdown I’ve worked from home (permanently for a time of about 6 months) and then 2 days a week over the last few years. It’s been bloody hard at times juggling it all myself with a full time job but I’ve managed to build up a decent pension pot and be able to save to buy a home (taken many years and a few promotions to do it though!)

I think you do need to strike the right balance though and work out what is realistically practical given your individual set of circumstances and also look at what you might be prepared to sacrifice to meet your own goals/things you want for your family in the future.

edited to add I also used a childminder around school pick ups/half terms/summer holidays etc for a time when needed.

The thing I don't understand about the people saying there are no holiday clubs around them etc is - if the OP lives in an area like that, how is she going to manage 3 days a week either? It's not like part time completely removes this issue.

So many people who have done it/are doing it.

i haven’t managed it. Two children. One with sen that rules out almost all holiday clubs etc. Also can’t manage after school care/clubs - especially when younger. In order to manage with the demands of the school week, they needed to go home straight after school and rest/decompress.

No other family support at all. None. The only childcare was paid for. We had an amazing babysitter who was also a qualified nanny and she was the only person who could take over and I knew everything would run smoothly. But so expensive.

Not all children CAN do 8-6 in childcare. It depends on the setting of course. But we also have extremely long holidays and most camps are 9-3 or mornings only. Also the good ones (where I knew both children would be safe and actually happy to go!) were SO expensive.

The op mentions being up to an hour away and people seemed to scoff at that.

When school calls to say your child has fallen in the playground/has a temperature/is upset and IT’S ONLY YOU, it is a big deal being an hour away. It really is.

Well it’s the reality of life for most people now as few of us can afford to have a stay at home parent so your imagination is a bit limited.

Even 25 years ago when I had my first baby all my NCT group were back at work by 6 months. Things are actually better now- a lot of mums take a year of ML if they can afford it and most employers realise they have to accommodate parents in the workforce whereas back in the day part-time working was quite a rare option in most office jobs above admin assistant level.

There really is no choice

we need to work to pay the bills and I wouldn’t say it feel unnatural

dd knows I have to work and hope /think she appreciates what I do for us

Yes I can’t imagine how you work and care for a child. It feels unnatural for me to put mine in nursery. Goodness knows what I’ll do

This is how I did it too. 👍

Initially, I used childminders but I found it expensive and also it was a PITA having to get two DC out to the childminders before work and then race back to pick them up and all of that. Once my youngest was coming up for 3, I moved both my DC into one room and had an au pair for about 8 years (obviously different au pairs). It was much more affordable and also meant that the DC could be at home after nursery / school etc. The au pair covered approx 30 hours of childcare a week for free accommodation and pocket money. I provided meals with us too. Most of them were great and we are still in touch 15+ years later. I did have one howler who had to go after a month and one where it felt like a long year, but all in all, it was a great way to do it. I don't know if it is still possible post-Brexit, but it is worth exploring.

Op didn’t say she didn’t get any help - she mentions the funded hours.

How did you drop kids off, travel three hours, do four hours of work and drive back again?

Also are you sure about not getting any childcare help at all? even tax free childcare?