Hi all, so my DH well I guess ex-DH and I have been married for 3 years, together for 6 years. We are mid 30s, we have one son who is 2 years old.
Last week he told me he has been having an affair for the best part of the last year. Obviously I’m beyond devastated, but what’s hurt more than anything is the way I really just had no idea. I could never have guessed it.
For context he works in an industry where after work drinks or even lunch time drinks are fairly standard practice. When we had DS we agreed Thursday nights he would go for after work drinks, what he did at lunch time was his business and there would probably be one other night in the month he’d go out, straight from work.
One of his best friends is a woman about 3 years younger. They met through his old flat mates, have known each other about a decade. She was at our wedding, she has met our son and was at his first birthday party. She works in a different industry from DH but their offices are in the same area. I knew he sometimes met her for a drink at lunch time or for drinks after work. I had no reason not to trust her, she’d been nothing but nice to me, is engaged or at least she was to my knowledge. She is one of his many female friends.
Last week DH told me he needed to talk to me, he confessed he’s been sleeping with her for almost a year, sometimes Thursdays after work, sometimes on Mondays or Fridays when he would tell me he was going to work in the office so I didn’t need to worry about keeping DS quiet but would actually work from her flat.
I felt totally blindsided, I drank wine with her not 2 months ago as I stopped to have a drink at the pub DHs friends and colleagues go to before DH and I went out on a date!
At the weekend I asked him to leave and I’ve now found out from his mother he is not staying with her at all but is staying at this woman’s flat!
AIBU to feel so bloody stupid for not noticing this? I can’t believe he either lied to me so well I had truly no idea or I was so bloody naive as to not notice!