Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I tell DH what to get me for my birthday?

108 replies

ToddlerMumma · 27/04/2026 20:34

I have a big birthday coming up. I’ve organised party, family get together, all logistics blah blah
DH has asked me (less than a week to go) what I want. I’ve said I want a surprise. What I REALLY want is a thoughtful, considered present. He’s asked me to pick and order what I want and he’ll wrap it. I’ve refused and said I want a thoughtful present. My friend says I’m being unreasonable and I should give him a list of options. I just don’t want to add my own birthday present to my huge list of life admin. Am I being unfair?

OP posts:
Original poster
ToddlerMumma · 27/04/2026 20:44

Duckswaddle · 27/04/2026 20:42

You’re setting him up to fail here. Just tell him what you want. Give him a list of ideas. Don’t be a knob.

Ouch!

OP posts:
Original poster
ToddlerMumma · 27/04/2026 20:43

AzureLurker · 27/04/2026 20:36

I understand but if you don't give ideas you will not get what you consider a thoughtful gift! Speaking from experience.

I hear you. But I do 100% thinking/planning for the family. I really don’t want to think about this one. I’ve told him what to get me from the kids. I just want a bit more thought behind his present

OP posts:
Peacho · 27/04/2026 20:43

Maybe just ask him to get you something from your favourite shop?

Duckswaddle · 27/04/2026 20:42

You’re setting him up to fail here. Just tell him what you want. Give him a list of ideas. Don’t be a knob.

Rubbleonthedouble2 · 27/04/2026 20:42

Yanbu, I only tell my partner what I want for a gift if there's something particular I want - e.g. a specific bag in a particular colour. The rest of the time he's perfectly capable to use his brain to come up with gift ideas based on what he knows I like and don't already have.

You have done EVERYTHING for your birthday, he's a spare fucking wheel. What is the point of him?!

Original poster
ToddlerMumma · 27/04/2026 20:41

HaveCreditWillShop · 27/04/2026 20:40

Are you 12?! I always tell my husband what I want, with links if needed! If not I will get a load of absolute crap like pretty notebooks, make up bags and boxes of chocolate.

Ouch!

OP posts:
HaveCreditWillShop · 27/04/2026 20:40

Are you 12?! I always tell my husband what I want, with links if needed! If not I will get a load of absolute crap like pretty notebooks, make up bags and boxes of chocolate.

AzureLurker · 27/04/2026 20:36

I understand but if you don't give ideas you will not get what you consider a thoughtful gift! Speaking from experience.

Swipe left for the next trending thread