To think money is best kept private outside family?

No I really wouldn’t get curious because I couldn’t be bothered to spend that time and effort gossiping about something which won’t be resolved.

I wish we would do this.

I will tell anyone who asks how much I earn and how much I have in savings. I wouldn’t share unprompted.

How would you know how much someone paid for a holiday? How would anyone know what you paid for your villa, hotels, flights, restaurants. Just recently booked a group tour to Asia - the difference in price was anywhere between £2 - £15k per person and after that you could upgrade your flight. I just couldn't price someone's holiday -not that I'd want to - who cares. My brothers have personal number plates, so people can't figure out how old (and therefore the cost) their cars are - who could be arsed?

It was just so weird. No one else concealed their age.
If you had a friend who simply would not divulge their age and would skirt any question that would possibly lead someone to knowing it, wouldn't you get kind of curious? It was just so unusual that it drew attention.

I think that says more about the group you mix with that they were so fixated on someone's age. I can't decide whether it's funny or tragic.

It's so easy to know how much someone paid for a house or a car. Holidays too. Keeping money secret is for people who earn so much that it would be boasting to talk about it.

In Norway all tax returns are published, helps reduce inequality. A major factor in women still being underpaid is secrecy about rates of pay. Ignorance about incomes leads to poor career and financial planning generally.

It's a bit of a weird thing to be bothered about discussing with family or friends but when people are really private about it, it can lead to people wondering and unwanted attention.
It's a bit like when I was a kid, my friend's mum wouldn't disclose her age to anyone. She wasn't old just very private. Looking back, she was probably only 35 when we were 8! You wouldn't believe the amount of discussions I've witnessed involving speculation about it. Her kids didn't/ don't know, my parents wondered, neighbours etc. She would even say things like she remembered my parents from college but refused to declare which year she was in. To this day, there is talk and speculation!
The lesson I learned is that you draw more attention to yourself when you keep shtum!

It's so easy to know how much someone paid for a house or a car. Holidays too. Keeping money secret is for people who earn so much that it would be boasting to talk about it.

It's a bit of a weird thing to be bothered about discussing with family or friends but when people are really private about it, it can lead to people wondering and unwanted attention.
It's a bit like when I was a kid, my friend's mum wouldn't disclose her age to anyone. She wasn't old just very private. Looking back, she was probably only 35 when we were 8! You wouldn't believe the amount of discussions I've witnessed involving speculation about it. Her kids didn't/ don't know, my parents wondered, neighbours etc. She would even say things like she remembered my parents from college but refused to declare which year she was in. To this day, there is talk and speculation!
The lesson I learned is that you draw more attention to yourself when you keep shtum!

It's so easy to know how much someone paid for a house or a car. Holidays too. Keeping money secret is for people who earn so much that it would be boasting to talk about it.

But that isn’t the same as discussing salaries with family and friends

And keeping money secret is for anyone values privacy

It's so easy to know how much someone paid for a house or a car. Holidays too. Keeping money secret is for people who earn so much that it would be boasting to talk about it.

Is this you and your kids meeting to discuss their finances every week? Does it include your parents too?
My initial reaction is to wonder why this weekly discussion is needed - why your adult married dcs don't have the confidence to run their own affairs. Do you not trust them to run their own affairs?

Well they must be, as they join us whenever they want too. We don’t just discuss money we discuss everything. If someone has a large purchases to make we will discuss where might be the best place to get that from, how much your looking to have to pay, can it be got cheaper else where. I don’t see what the problem with that is.

I agree, I’d be really pissed off if my husband told his parents and siblings what I earn and what I spend. It’s not his information to tell.

Oh god that sounds bloody awful. I rather not have all my purchases discussed in a family setting - my siblings are a very overbearing lot - discussing anything with them would leave me utterly exhausted and rip the fun right out of any purchase. I guess it depends on your family - but my first though would be a very firm no!

Indeed. I am just annoyed that sil has been given money yet has made no effort to sort out her finances. Bil was given money to help when his kids were small...he and his wife both worked, so I've got no issue with him being sided

We didn't have kids, failed IVF....no offer to finance treatment though.... again not bitter, we decided to stop ourselves and cash wasn't behind it

And this is why money shouldn’t be discussed - people get resentful that one sibling gets more than another, you only have to see threads on here where sons and their wives are upset that a parent isn’t giving them money.

My only comment here is that I was always told to look poor and spend rich. That is no one should know what you have, wether you're on the bones of your arse or a multi millionaire, but by the best you can afford.

When we got married we were financially fucked, the subsided part of the mortgage was 8% then a month later my dad died, mum had died when I was 17 and we had 2 houses to pay for. My wife's parents never asked how we were doing.

2 years ago I retired from full time work because I'm riddled with arthritis at the age of 55. Mil has never once asked how we manage

Sil has had her mortgage paid off, been given a new car (wife and her brother were compensated 2k for that by pil). She hasn't had a proper job since the age of 40 in 1996. Her husband was a drunken bum who despite being warned repeatedly for over 10 years never gave up the booze which killed him.

Would I say anything if I had things over. No I've got too much pride. We've made money. Enough to insulate ourselves and live a good life....sil is still buggered financially

I think talking about money is a very important skill to cultivate. It is a tricky topic because people attach different values and meanings to the same words. It’s so important to understand another person’s financial landscape before you get married. I’d hazard a guess that financial incompatibility is probably one of the biggest predictors of relationships breakdown. And a marriage breakdown is one of the most expensive mistakes you can make.

That's not the same as listing off earnings and assets, and I agree that sort of information is better off kept private, or need to know.

Well they must be, as they join us whenever they want too. We don’t just discuss money we discuss everything. If someone has a large purchases to make we will discuss where might be the best place to get that from, how much your looking to have to pay, can it be got cheaper else where. I don’t see what the problem with that is.