Kids can struggle to see us as actual human beings, instead of “just mum”. It’s not a failure of love.
Sometimes, when we put someone else’s needs before our own, we also sideline those we love, because mentally they are in the “us” category, He shouldn’t treat you badly. But he might have been seeing you as part of his camp, iyswim. It may not be what’s happening here, but I’m just sharing because sometimes the reasoning is a bit more convoluted.
Dp/dh prioritise the craziest woman in their life. In my case it’s mil. I just cannot match her energy (nor would I want to) and the cost for not placating her is high. So when dh is put on the spot, his instinct swings that way. Given a chance to think first, he puts family first, even if he knows she’ll kick off, but that took time and awareness on his part.
But otoh let’s not rush to blame the gf. She didn’t actually do anything that we can verify. Maybe she wasn’t ready to meet you, but if she had known, would have moved to a different room. He didn’t actually give her that option. I’d be absolutely mortified in her shoes, and if she has problems with anxiety she might not have the capacity to reach out to you.
It’s a very upsetting thing op, and I can really sympathise with the hurt. But try and find the softer interpretation so you can move through this.
I’m going to add that you might be over stepping a bit by cleaning for him, particularly unasked. Especially if he’s living with someone. It’s something to be mindful of. There’s a point where you have to become more of a guest, than a parent in your dc’s house - switch to admiring instead of advising, and only help when asked.