Update on previous post from yesterday

So so happy to read this. Wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy, keep talking to your midwife and take it easy on yourself.

I really recommend hypnobirthing, not least because it can help you to relax and be in the moment. Same for pregnancy yoga, it’s good to have some time for just you to connect with baby.

Very pleased to hear that. 💕💕💕

Delighted to read this.👏

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better @TicklishLeader Xx

@TicklishLeader I have been thinking of you since yesterday and I’m really glad to hear that you’ve gone to your parents for some support, and spoken to your midwife plus are having time off work to focus purely on you before making any decisions.
As I mentioned yesterday I suffer with anxiety at the best of times, which was so extreme during pregnancy I could barely function, but counselling really did help me through it.
Whatever decision you ultimately make, take care of yourself and I wish you all the best 💐

Well done OP! Keep on taking care of yourself.

Awww, so glad you are feeling better, OP!

Don't let the bastards get you down, as they say!

It wasn't bizarre, it was par for the course. There are some fucked-up puppies on here who do everything they can to tear others down.

Im pleased.. im a “step mother” to two adult children who were a similar age to yours. They hated me. But after 10 years I’m now a step grandmother and it’s really not like it was. I think what helped was I acknowledged their pain - they were hurting and traumatized by their parents splitting up. And I was in the way of their reconciliation (which wasn’t happening because we met years after they split). I think your husband is going to have to say to them I understand your anger towards me but that you are not to blame. And to say this baby will be another child he loves equally and you both want them to be siblings and protectors of this child.. it’s not a competition for love. But they will naturally be jealous that this baby gets to live with both parents even if subconsciously… your husband needs to acknowledge this heir pain and work with them. They aren’t adults. Perhaps your husband needs some therapy or support to do this but he will be scared of mentioning anything for fear of losing them. But it’s precisely what is needed. An emotional talk without blaming them for the pain they feel.

I’m glad you’re feeling better.. ❤️

Motherhood has is challenges, but if it's something you've wanted, it's not something to give up because some teenagers are stroppy. My children bring such a joy to my life, and when I hold their little hands in mine, all is right with the world just for that moment. You'll be a great mum.

Good OP, pleased you are feeling better. Hopefully things are back on with your husband too. We all get overwhelmed at times. You sound like someone with a big heart and a lot of love to give. I think you will make an excellent parent

Well you can't have read much of that thread. So many posters were pearl clutching, telling OP she shouldn't have got pregnant and be having a baby the same year that her husband's older children have exams. That she was selfish for asking her husband not to tell his children yet because she couldn't deal with any negativity right now. That by doing that there was no going back - the older DC would never forgive her or their father and they wouldn't blame them - rant rant! It was honestly bizarre.

@TicklishLeader please speak to your midwife or GP for mental health support and don’t make big decisions at the minute.

don’t let posters from your other thread affect you. You were so excited for the baby and the fact that you are worrying so much shows what a good mum you are.

the step children will come around and be adults living their own lives soon.

enjoy your much wanted baby 💐

@TicklishLeader how are you feeling this afternoon? 💐❤

Have you managed to speak to your midwife or any friends/family today?

I didn’t read your thread so these thoughts may be useless to you.

They will be gone in 3 years if they go to uni, can you focus on your child for the next 3 years and just let your DH parent them? That’s all providing he refuses to let them be rude to you obviously and is a general good sort.

Can he step up and take them out the house more, can you go out more?

if you love him and do think of him as generally a good dad then it’s possible you may see a future together ?

I didn't get a chance to comment on your last thread and didn't see any of the nastier comments, although I can well imagine what they were like. But it seemed to me that you were so happy to be pregnant, and I don't think you should rush into a decision I have a feeling you might regret.

I think OP you need to slow down and breathe . You are going through something very overwhelming and triggering. No decisions you make at this moment or feeling will be rational and clear headed . By all means stay where you feel safe but your running miles ahead of yourself x

Teenagers can be awful. They are like bigger, more articulate toddlers. But I think my response would be so what? You are married and you are having a baby and they will eventually come to an accommodation with that. You sound like you are struggling so reach out for some support IRL. I hope that you feel better soon. Feeling overwhelmed is awful.

You want to get rid of you wanted and fought for, pregnancy, at an age when you might not get another chance at motherhood, and ditch your marriage, because some anonymous mumsnetters are a bit sniffy about blended families?

Honestly, please step away from the internet, talk to your midwife and work out a plan with the man you love.

I felt quite sad when I read your post yesterday, OP, mostly because it seems your husband has been incredibly unsupportive and weak. His inaction has left you feeling bad about yourself, when you did nothing wrong.

But I was most saddened by the typical MN ‘all stepmothers are evil bitches’ pile on. That’s bad enough at the best of times, but with someone so clearly in need of support, I found it quite shameful.

I’m sending you a big hug all the way across the net. Let your parents take good care of you while you come to terms with recent events. You need to keep up your physical health to help with your emotional wellbeing. Sending you my very best wishes for a happy, peaceful future, whatever you decide. X

I agree with this.
I am committed to pro choice, but think very carefully about this.
Well done on going to your parents.
I think this stress has taken so much out of you.

What issues down the line do you forsee for your child?

Families come in all shapes and sizes, I know many a huge family who spend no time together and many a tiny one of three who are a happy troupe. Friends are like family too, and it's easy to spiral if you begin mapping your childs whole future based solely on the here and now - trust me I've been there. Still there trying to decide on a big move and which option will make a w hr old happier when thehre 18 etc, it's just crippling in the present and makes me catastrophise.

Some families are friends then there's fall outs later, the family situation you're in when you give birth isn't necessarily the one you'll have as the child grows. You also kept lots of wonderful women and their babies when you join classes and clubs etc, and I honestly can say the women I've met are people I see more and lean on more than my family, and my son has a troupe of happy little pals to play with. Those people become family.

Saying this, your husband needs to take your mental health through all thos incredibly seriously considering you're thinking of terminating a much wanted baby, and possibly closing the door on being a mother forever. He needs to have a Frank and hail Mary conversation with his children.

You may acting in haste. Sure they may not be happy when you tell them, but they'll come around. Don't throw everything away from comments by strangers on the net, unless you want too.