DC invited away by friends family

I've taken DS's friends away a few times . We pay for accommodation, meals in and travel by car. I ask the family to pay for all other costs: meals out and entertainment.

Gosh, that sounds really odd and graceless to me! We took DC's friend away, parents insisted on paying for the travel, but we paid for accommodation, all food and activities. We also refused the child's offers to buy us a meal while we were out (it was cute, he kept offering!). The parents came to collect the child (their child had only joined us for only five days of the our longer holiday), took us out for a meal, and again when we got back. We thought that was perfectly judged, and gracious all around. And, we'd happily take their child with us again, and vice versa.

I'd ask what the financial arrangements are when the offer was made. I personally think that if you invite a dc you're offering to pay, but I think different people might see it differently and if want to be clear of the costs before I agreed.

I'd send dc with spending money and I would give a thank you gift (if I wasn't paying for the holiday).

If I invited DD's friend on holiday, I wouod expect to be paying most of their cost. I would expect their parents to send them with spending money, maybe cover extras, such as theme park/zoo tickets and food. But I would definitely expect to pay for flights and accomodation for the other child.

Pay for flights/ferry/train tickets, and accommodation, if it will cost them extra to have your child there (if it is per head for instance), give your child spending money, and take the family out for a nice meal when they get back.

Pay for flights and give lots of spending money. Send a gift on return as thanks?

Ask them?

Agree with others who think your ideas are OTT. Your question though makes it sound like you have invited a DC’s friend and the parents haven’t offered a similar amount. If this is the case, I would say it’s on you at the start to set out expectations- caravan holiday in the UK, I wouldn’t expect anything apart from some spending money. Holiday abroad- possibly agree that the other family pay for flights. Dependent on both families financial situation and the relationship between them.

No I think if a child is invited, the family is offering to pay for the child. Otherwise it would be very poor etiquette of the family going to away to assume that we as the child’s parents can afford/want to pay for our child to go. I’d also assume that they are taking my child as entertainment for their child, rather than out of the goodness of their hearts.

Way OTT. Presumably they've offered because their child will have a better time. You offer, you pay IMO. Guest child needs spending money but no more than they would spend themselves if with their parents - ice-cream and souvenirs etc.

I think it depends on the relationship and where they are going, and if you have discussed it with the family first. My teen dc was Invited on holiday with the cost over £1k. Not discussed with me first, which led to me being the bad person when I said no.

When we've taken DD's friends away we've not expected their parents to pay anything if it's uk car travel and stuff catering cottage or caravan sort of thing. When we've taken them to Europe the other family has paid for the flight. We're a family of 3 and essentially, I wouldn't expect our holiday to be cheaper because we're taking a friend (which it would be if we asked the parents for a contribution to the apartment or car rental). I'm happy with it being a bit more expensive.

If I was sending DD with another family I'd probably just ask the cost and take it from there.

Phone or meet up with the parents, thank them for the offer it’s very kind etc, but you need to think about it and with summer being so expensive if you can afford it and ask if they have an idea of costs. Take notes tell them you’ll get back to them the next day and let them know if it’s possible.

You'd offer to pay for the holiday and give your kid enough cash to buy them all dinner?

Yeah that's OTT.

I'd offer to pay his share of the holiday and give him plenty of spending money.

How old is he?

I'd be embarrassed if a kid got a wad of cash out and tried to pay for dinner.

Personally I would not expect to pay for accommodation or travel (assuming it’s by car). But I might expect to pay for activities like zoo or swimming, and I would give plenty of spending money.

I’d do as you have said

Oh and I wouldn’t give money for your child to pay for a meal, it makes it awkward for the child. Give or send some money to the parents for a meal out if you want to do that.

i wouldn’t send a gift after. I’d ask how much I owe them, give my child spending money and say thanks after.