Partner spending weekend fitting ex wifes bathroom

My daughter, in social housing, had her bathroom and kitchen stripped back to the brickwork (I saw it) and a new kitchen and bathroom was finished in five working days, I call shenanigans.

If he had spent most weekends there for the past 4 months, you would seriously be happy?!

I really don’t see the problem. He started it before you met him I also met the mother of my husbands daughter after they had split up years ago. Amicably. She and I get on really well and she will always be part of our lives as she is the mother of his daughter. Makes life easy for everyone. Ofcourse it can be a different story on other situations but I commend him trying to help them out.

It takes 5 days to fit a bathroom…

Why would you want to be with such an immature controlling hypocrite?

Ahh that's shit my housing association owns a hefty chunk of the estate they had rolling teams replacing the kitchens in all their houses on the estate they do upgrades in batches its cheaper for them apparently

My dad still regularly does stuff for my mum despite being divorced for almost 20 years now. She’s the mother of his children, they were together for 40 years, she’s not just his ex wife. I know that’s probably not a popular take, but if you have kids with someone, unless there’s DV issues you really should strive to get along with them and work as a team. Even if your kids are adults it’s still nice to have parents who get on and can help one another out as needed.

My step mum isn’t bothered and her and my mum actually get on pretty well (they’re actually eerily similar). When you have kids with someone you’re probably going to be in one another’s lives till you die. You’re gonna be at the same family events, weddings, baby showers, whatever else. It’s optimal to get on with your co-parent if at all possible. I am very lucky that my parents can get on well after divorce and still help one another out, and I think it should be the goal in most cases.

My bathroom (which is tiny) took 7 working days to complete.....and 5 men were working on it. So that's the equivalent of 35, working days for 1 man. This guy has been working, alone, on this bathroom for what...16 to 20 days, if Bank Holidays are included? And we don't know how big the bathroom is, but I suspect it'll be bigger than mine. So he's got a few weekends to go yet! Oh, and my bathroom was done by professionals, this guy is probably a DIYer, so that adds time too.

I'd hate to be your mind....

Why is it taking him four months to do a bathroom? Nope. Not adding up.

I wouldn't be putting up with that nonsense!!!

He’s just not that into you and he’ll probably end up back with his ex. TBH.

So it’s also his daughter‘s bathroom he’s fixing, isn’t it?

He has also said that it isnt acceptable for my ex husband to help me and my young son at home or spend time together eg watching my sons sports together.

rules for thee but not for me… I wouldn’t find that acceptable. Sounds as if he has double standards. And you sound unhappy.

Are you sure that relationship is right for you?

Your not unreasonable to feel uncomfortable at all. It's a natural human emotion.

I don't know your partner at all but it shows a good man who can be amicable with his ex partner and prioritise his daughter too.

This can be a good sign of how he will behave with you if things came to an end and demonstrates he's a good man in my opinion.

The way a man treats and speaks about his ex partners and mother speaks volumes and can be a glimpse of how he will treat you when your backs turned.

Bloody hell.
Is this thread still going?
Has he gone back to smooth the grouting?

Do you see him much during the week? This sounds like you are being played to be honest. Does he have social media? Is there a way for you to verify they are definitely divorced / not together, or is it just his word? Have you met his family, or have mutual friends?

I agree with what others have said, he should have stopped once it got serious with you. His daughter is nearly 30 so no, I wouldn't accept that as the reason because it's not the daughter's house so why would she care or need the bathroom doing.

You added on more relevant information later, about his double standard as your ex cannot help you, so I think you know the answer. I'd bail just on that double standard alone. No respect for women if that's the view he takes. Can't cope with men who hold stereotypes like that myself.

I would be more concerned abiut him telling you how to have a relationship with your ex as it sounds like he is quite controlling and jealous.

So you see him on Saturdays.

For 4 months.
Adding those days up its only 3 ish weeks you have dated him.
Why doesn't his ex wife hire a contractor?

He sounds like a drag. I'd move on.

Good god! are you lasses still talking about this!? It's fake news, draw back. Everything's good. It's a bot.

My response was before (or before I’d seen) the new message from the op. I stand by the fitting the bathroom is a nice thing. And I stand by the this isn’t the right relationship for you; even, or especially, in the light of the ‘update’.

Get a grip. 4 months. His daughter lives there. Id say its a green flag but your response is a red flag

Really? The double standards points to him being a nice guy?

I bet you anything he’s sleeping with her. He should be paying you attention eg dates and you should be shagging like rabbits at this stage. Not be sloppy seconds.

He’d rather spend time with her and the bathroom is his excuse to do that

Have you thought of offering to go and lend ahand? If there's nothing going on over there, why not? Him objecting to you seeing your ex and kids is totally out of order. He is doing two major things that you don't like after just 4 months..... Just saying !