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Original poster

Would you be bothered if your partner called you his ‘lady friend’?

59 replies

thinkprint · 26/04/2026 19:02

My partner said to his brother (who I’ve never met) that he’s busy today because his ‘lady friend’ was over. Would this bother you?

OP posts:
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CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 30/06/2026 22:20

Backawayfromthesausage · 26/04/2026 20:34

eh? I’m assuming the op is in the uk where this is a term which means a committed relationship, it does not denote age,

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It absolutely does.

MN is always differentiating in terms of child versus adult when it comes to relationships.

Do you really think you're a girl when you're in your 30s?? Sure, when it's an all-women get together then it's a girls' night out but really, do you want to be called a girlfriend in your 50s?

Woman-friend just sounds crass.
FWB is a bit too brutal.

Don't know why anyone gets offended by lady-friend or do people not like being called a lady anymore? Sounds classier to me than girlfriend.

Redflagsabounded · 30/06/2026 22:17

I wouldn't be offended but I'd be worried he's actually a 90 year old wearing a bloody good disguise.

Just tell him you don't like it.

HaveYouFedTheFish · 30/06/2026 22:16

People use "partner" very lightly now (a colleague referred to meeting her 15 year old DD's "new partner" the other day - 15 year olds don't have new partners, unless they're into ballroom dancing or other partnered sports I guess, but that wasn't the context!

Lady friend does sound like an octogenarian though - was it tongue in cheek? Or is he a bit socially awkward?

B1anche · 30/06/2026 22:15

I would think it was hilarious if my partner referred to me as his ladyfriend because it sounds so old-fashioned. Does he also say "sheaths" and "making love"?

I certainly wouldn't be offended.

Weirdconditionaltense · 30/06/2026 22:09

Batshitdoesntfallfarfromthetree · 30/06/2026 21:18

why not call her by her name 'oh Gloria's coming over' or whatever. The brother clearly doesn't even know her name

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I don't like it very much myself as I say, but I think it's used when a man is implying that they have a relationship and yet he doesn't think "girlfriend" is appropriate. If I were dating again, I know I am far too old to be called anyone's girlfriend but I might find it kind of cute that someone is saying he feels he's in a relationship with me - if that were the case.

LiveLuvLaugh · 30/06/2026 21:29

MargotLovesTom · 26/04/2026 19:20

It just sounds like cheesy banter between brothers. Along the lines of 'gentleman caller'. Wouldn't bother me.

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This

Batshitdoesntfallfarfromthetree · 30/06/2026 21:18

Weirdconditionaltense · 26/04/2026 20:48

I'd find it a bit twee but it's really just a nicer way of saying my girlfriend..I don't think you should take it badly

why not call her by her name 'oh Gloria's coming over' or whatever. The brother clearly doesn't even know her name

Batshitdoesntfallfarfromthetree · 30/06/2026 21:16

Sounds like you're a back pocket girlfriend to be honest. How long have you been together? Have you had 'the talk' yet? Are you definitely sure he sees you as his partner too?

Minasama · 30/06/2026 21:12

Why does this bother you? Girlfriend is difficult if you’re mature, partner is a weird one - sounds quite committed but not committed enough to get married. It’s hard to find a word!!

thedevilinablackdress · 27/04/2026 08:05

HelenaWilson · 26/04/2026 20:31

He clearly didn’t want to call you his girlfriend so I’d question how he sees you.

Perhaps he doesn't see her as a girl?

Yes, maybe using the word girl in relation to the person he's having sex with (I assume) gives him the ick.

pizzaHeart · 26/04/2026 21:56

Backawayfromthesausage · 26/04/2026 20:29

He clearly didn’t want to call you his girlfriend so I’d question how he sees you. You think it’d becoming more serious. It doesn’t appear he does. He didn’t even use your name.

I think the same ^.
of course it could be banter but I wouldn’t want to be the object of the banter. There was a perfectly suitable word : Girlfriend or he could use your name.

CurdinHenry · 26/04/2026 21:43

thinkprint · 26/04/2026 20:10

I must say, I don’t agree with this at all. Many people move into together very quickly, whilst others live apart for years. I don’t think relationships exist in such narrow definitions.

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Partners have something tying them together beyond enjoying a Toby carvery together is my point

sayitisntsoo · 26/04/2026 20:57

I'd find it funny.

Backawayfromthesausage · 26/04/2026 20:50

thinkprint · 26/04/2026 20:45

I think that this is reading far too much into it.

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Really? Why wouldn’t he use your name, and most people, men or women, use girlfriend or partner, lady friend is very distant, why didn’t he just say sues here,if the brother knows who you are.

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 26/04/2026 20:49

thinkprint · 26/04/2026 19:15

No, his brother knows who I am. I wasn’t bothered, but I told a friend that he’d used such an old fashioned term and she said she’d be insulted.

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It was a tongue-in-cheek comment then.

Weirdconditionaltense · 26/04/2026 20:48

I'd find it a bit twee but it's really just a nicer way of saying my girlfriend..I don't think you should take it badly

Original poster
thinkprint · 26/04/2026 20:45

Backawayfromthesausage · 26/04/2026 20:29

He clearly didn’t want to call you his girlfriend so I’d question how he sees you. You think it’d becoming more serious. It doesn’t appear he does. He didn’t even use your name.

I think that this is reading far too much into it.

OP posts:
Backawayfromthesausage · 26/04/2026 20:34

HelenaWilson · 26/04/2026 20:31

He clearly didn’t want to call you his girlfriend so I’d question how he sees you.

Perhaps he doesn't see her as a girl?

eh? I’m assuming the op is in the uk where this is a term which means a committed relationship, it does not denote age,

HelenaWilson · 26/04/2026 20:31

He clearly didn’t want to call you his girlfriend so I’d question how he sees you.

Perhaps he doesn't see her as a girl?

Backawayfromthesausage · 26/04/2026 20:29

He clearly didn’t want to call you his girlfriend so I’d question how he sees you. You think it’d becoming more serious. It doesn’t appear he does. He didn’t even use your name.

missmollygreen · 26/04/2026 20:26

MyBraveFace · 26/04/2026 19:06

I would assume a casual or platonic relationship from that description.

Or a jokey comment between brothers...

ItsJustMeMyself · 26/04/2026 20:10

I hate the term "partner" with a passion. We don't own a law firm together, mm'kay.

No, I wouldn't be offended. I wouldn't have even thought to be offended.

Original poster
thinkprint · 26/04/2026 20:10

CurdinHenry · 26/04/2026 19:52

A partner is someone you have legal and practical intersection with (live together usually). A girlfriend is goes out for dinner a couple of times a week, has sex, is standing plus one for parties and events.

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I must say, I don’t agree with this at all. Many people move into together very quickly, whilst others live apart for years. I don’t think relationships exist in such narrow definitions.

OP posts:
Original poster
thinkprint · 26/04/2026 20:08

InterestedDad37 · 26/04/2026 19:49

Almost without exception, men who use that expression are, in my experience, absolute to$$ers and usually complete gammons (age is irrelevant here) 😀

Can confirm he is neither.

OP posts:
Oreoqueen87 · 26/04/2026 20:03

It wouldn’t offend me but would somewhat give me the ick. It does give off old person vibes, with a side order of nudge nudge wink wink.

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