AIBU to feel awkward about only my husband being invited to the wedding?

I do think this is weird. DH and I have worked in the same teams at work before and have always both been invited to things like this, often with an invitation each I guess so if it's clear to other colleagues there are no plus ones for work friends. We have both also been invited without the other to weddings of friends etc that are our own and the other either doesn't know it doesn't know very well again I think that's fine. I think what's odd about this is that you individually work with and socialise with the bride and are not invited but your husband is

It's weird she only invited him and it's even weirder he's considering going!

I'm shocked that he's actually going and that you think it's fair enough that he does.

I’m surprised she hasn’t contacted you with an apology and an explanation. Very bad manners.

Your husband is a real dick for going to this. Jane is whatever - just some rude woman you work for. But your husband is allowing her to disrespect you and going along with it.

Your DH needs to decline and if asked, can say that he's not comfortable attending without you given that you all work on the same small team and she's snubbed you. This woman is extraordinarily rude in this circumstance, but your DH is now also being extraordinarily rude if he goes without you and condones her poor behaviour here.

As others have said, there are times when it is reasonable to ask one half of a couple, but this isn't one of them. Hella weird and I'd be seriously peed off if my husband said he was going under these circumstances. What's he thinking???

How similar was it though? Was it genuinely like the OP where you and your husband work in the same team AND socialise together with the bride to be but only one of you was invited? Or is it more like one of you was invited by a colleague but not the other as you don’t work and socialise together?

OP I don’t blame you for being upset and even confused. It feels very, very much like a deliberate snub to you - and potentially trying to divide a wedge between you and your husband. She doesn’t sound like a particularly pleasant person. At least she has shown you who she is now.

These rude people continue to be rude because of people like your husband going along with it. They then think their behaviour is ok. I would be fuming at him for supporting this blatant rude snub of his wife. “People pleasers” can just be as bad as the arseholes of the world because they encourage them to go on and piss more people off by not having a backbone

She’s taking the piss ,you all work together you all socialise together.But only your husband gets an invite.He should decline and fuck going out on nights out with her.

Surely the op won’t be going in future? ‘I don’t think im coming out, I’ll leave this one to people who want to spend time together.’ I might do something else.’

I do think it's weird that your husband hasn't even noticed how rude this is. Of course it's fine for him to have "his friends" who are not your friends, but that is not the case here. She's effectively saying that, when you go out together, you are the spare wheel. Surely it's going to make it more awkward to make any plans to socialise outside work in the future?

in this scenario the op is coming out too because she’s his wife. Which is exactly the point, and she should have an invite to the wedding too because she’s his wife.

That's pretty ridiculous - surely you would not be a plus one but someone in the same position as your husband, i.e. a work colleague she socialises with outside work? And it's odd to claim there are no plus ones when she's inviting boss's wife.

😂😂😂
DH, to make you aware when we both go out socialising with Jane I'm happy to be the spare wheel. I'm just her work friend but you are obviously her true friend. I may even leave early in the future so you can both catch-up properly. 😂

It's not 'his friends' wedding. Until the invites went out it was their friend. The invite being just for him is Jane saying he's my friend and you're not. Now this can be shrugged off we are not in the playground anymore but it's naturally going to make OP feel awkward or left out or slightly rejected. My dh would be upset on my behalf and would never go and tbh moving forward would be highly unlikely to stay friends with her.

So it didn't even occur to your DH that this was weird and rude and to turn down the invite?

Does he have form for not considering you in his decisions OP?

The Jane issue going forward is one thing, the husband issue is another. And a big one at that.

I’m not sure why your DH is getting stuck here, if he wants to go to his friends wedding then he should do.

It’s not weird that you’ve not been invited, as no one else on the team has.

But it is weird/rude that she’s not acknowledged it you or DH to say they need to keep numbers down etc.

I don’t think it’s anything personal to you.
She sees DH as more of a friend friend and you as more of a work friend.
When you socialise, she likely sees it as her socialising with DH but you coming too.
I would try not to overthink it.

She is very ill-mannered and your dh is a dick. No way on earth my dh would want to attend under these circs. I would tell him plainly my view on this just to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he still attended, not sure what I would do tbh but he would be reduced in my estimation.

Who can guess next thread from OP?

Im going with “seen inappropriate messages between H and his colleague, Jane”

that’s so rude OP! Jane sounds horrible but I’d also be really disappointed in your husband.

He should have your back and declined the invite. If it was me I’d be really hurt by his actions more than hers.

Your husband chatting to her about her wedding?

Well that makes me wonder just how close they are.

He's chosen to go. I'd be annoyed with him as much as not being invited..

Weddings are not normally the place to invite the man only to. Not when you all socialise.

To add to this, how many posts do we see on here of couples tying themselves in knots about their wedding invites and plus 1s as it seriously is such a worry about offending people - to me the reason for inviting your DH and not you is to send a clear message ~ which is so incredibly rude, and hurtful your DH is choosing not to see it.

It's her wedding, she can do what she likes. Very similar thing happened to me recently, and didn't give it a second thought.

Yes strange and rude.

I would find it hard to continue socialising with her.