AIBU to feel awkward about only my husband being invited to the wedding?

This! 😁

OP, if other guests (whether or not they know both of you or just your H) ask him why you aren't there, how does he feel about answering that question?

Something very similar happened to my DH a few years ago. It wasn't a wedding, it was a dinner dance - so very much a social occasion. His employer was having a table at the event, but saw it as a way of entertaining clients - and for some bizarre reason invited employees only, not their spouses or partners.

DH refused to go. He said to his employer, "If I go alone, lots of people will ask me why Parrot isn't with me. I'm not prepared to lie, and if I tell them the truth - that she wasn't invited - that will reflect very badly on the company."

Suffice it to say that the company never tried that ruse again.

Weird and rude that she hasn’t invited you. I would be really fed up about husband deciding to attend.

I think saying OP has been shunned is a bit OTT.

DH is the only one who was invited.
It’s different if she invited the entire team but not OP.

Yeah this 💯% there’s definitely something going on between husband and the bride-to-be. There’s no way a bloke who works in a professional environment can be so dense about how his wife might feel about him going. He obviously doesn’t care about his wife at this point.

Has she actually told the husband not to go? The bloke should’ve been able to work that out for himself, but there’s not much point OP sitting around getting more and more annoyed.Hope she puts her foot down on this one.

It often seems that "people pleasers" care very, very little about pleasing the people closest to them. My mother is the same. Sweet as pie to everyone else. Hard to get her to consider our viewpoint ever.

That was definitely a rude assumption of the friend to make

It's definitely very odd & even stranger your husband is going & doesn't find that odd

.

This 💯

Sums it up for me. Weird and rude. Of both of them for different reasons! There’s no way my DH would go, he’d find it rude too. I doubt I’d speak to her again much after this. Not sure I’d speak to him much either, lol, if he actually goes.

@Thewitchofwestminster are you still going to socialise with her? I don't think I could as it's obvious she isn't keen on you.

So rude.

I would only invite one spouse if I was on a budget and did not know the spouse. Inviting all plus ones basically doubles the invite list and if my finances / the venue did not permit that I would have no issue just inviting the person I knew.

I don’t think it’s weird to not have automatic plus ones for weddings. I had not realise that was a thing until I read MN threads on it.

DOH!

I reread it and saw you go out and socialise together. In that case yes, it’s odd.

This is all very odd but while I'd have no issue no getting an invite to the wedding. I'd have a major issue that my husband didn't see the issue and was still going to go. It's extremely disloyal of him and frankly if my husband accepted this invite and saw no problem wed have a big issue. Fortunately I don't have the issue as my husband would be horrified as this prospect and would have questioned jane and told her immediately he wouldn't be attending. We'd also be pulling back on the friendship as well, as its clear she prefers your husband and isn't overly keen on you.

Jane is extremely rude but you've a husband issue here as well

Love to screen shot this thread and send it to her!

Even more reason for husband not to attend! I don’t know anyone who would be happy with their husband attending in these circumstances.

Yes, because he is not backing up his wife who has been shunned.

Even if you didn’t work with Jane too, she still should have invited both of you. Rude not to.

If you both didn't work together with Jane, I wouldn't find it odd that only one of a married couple were invited. I have been invited to weddings of co-workers but not my husband as he doesn't know them (only evening tbf) but seeing that you both work together, it's really very odd. If I were your husband I wouldn't go

Your husband should decline the invitation, as it doesn't seem right that he goes on his own if you both work there

However, you could have a nice quiet time doing what you want to do while your DH attends.

I think that is entirely missing the point.

I'm sure OP can enjoy quiet time on her own without her husband being invited to a mutual colleague's wedding. Nothing in her post suggests she can't.

The point is, a mutual colleague they both get on with has invited only OP's husband to her wedding. That is unreasonable.

weddings are boring anyway...enjoy some me time, a relaxing bath, slushy movie and pop open some prosecco to toast the happy couple...enjoy

Reiterating what’s already been said, but yes it’s weird and no your husband shouldn’t be going! If you didn’t work there and had never met her then fair enough, but that’s not the situation. She’s deliberately chosen to exclude you and it’s incredibly rude! I’d be more than miffed if my husband accepted an invite in these circumstances, I’d be furious. And as for Jane, I’d maintain a professional relationship but nothing more. What a horrid person she is.

Agree with this!
Lived this. Wants to look like a wonderful superstar to others who he hardly knows but to us doesn't care. It is really depressing.
Ick is the right phrase too. I mean how sad to have to live your life caring about people who have no real impact on your life while the people close to you get nothing. Just look at him as a sad individual now.

This is incredibly rude and what’s worse is that your husband has accepted? I would be way more concerned by the fact he doesn’t ‘have your back’ in the situation. It’s completely okay to say to your partner I feel slighted by this woman, your commitment is to me not them, don’t go to the wedding. Don’t allow any nonsense about not being able to back out now- a wedding party can always find a replacement guest.

There’s so many ‘pick me girls’ who pretend like they’re so cool letting their partners do whatever they want but it’s just a mask for low self-esteem. A genuinely confident person does not feel the slightest shame in reminding their partner you’re both a team who back each other up and expect to be backed up in return.

I would never be comfortable hanging out with someone who hates my partner to the degree they would exclude them. Most real friends would include the partner for their friend’s benefit anyway- especially when you all work together.

I hate to say this, but it seems like she likes your husband more than friends and your husband likes her more than friends, because otherwise it makes no sense why she would invite him and not you and he would go on to meekly accept this.

The resentment is just going to grow about this, you may as well put a stop to it now. And I’d ask what on earth possessed him to say yes and not to stick up for you?