AIBU to feel awkward about only my husband being invited to the wedding?

If she couldn’t afford the whole team she not invited workmates at all or just boss and wife.

I think your husband is weird for not getting how strange this is. For you not to be invited puts you in the category of the other two workers who you have said that Jane doesn’t like.
the fact he’s not budging after his mother has agreed it’s weird is also strange. Surely he’d have a rethink at this point.

'Husband just said he has been invited and thinks it will be a nice day and he wants to support his friend on her big day so he wants to go. He did not think it was weird at all until he was chatting to his Mum and mentioned it and she thinks it is rude. In fact he was rather put out that we both thought it was weird'

Sorry your DH is being thoughtless, does he not care how you feel? Weird.

Fine to invite one half of a couple if you’re doing that with all couples where you know one party far better than the other, and they’ll know other guests. So, a hobby group or workplace.

But that’s not the case here at all. It is completely different. And quite pointed, given the boss’s OH is going.

That is very odd. If I were DH I wouldn’t go

I think it's perfectly fine to invite one half of a couple to a wedding, if you only know one of them or are much closer to them. It sounds strange in your situation, unless there is a drip feed that the groom is your DH's cousin or the bride was his mixed doubles badminton partner long before you all worked together. If you're both equally close to the bride why is he going?

You BOTH socialise with Jane outside of work?

Jane IBU for only inviting your DH, but your DH IB massively U for attending.

Yanbu. That is awful. Your DH should give it a miss tbh, say he's got something else on.

But OP and her DH are both workplace colleagues of the bride and both of them socialise with her outside work so the comparison with your husband not being invited to your work colleagues' wedding isn't comparable.

And socialise together!

Does the boss's wife work there too? Is she close to the bride-to-be?

If you didn't work for the same company or on the same team as your DH and Jane, you would be unreasonable to expect an invitation. However, you work on the same small team and you and your DH socialise equally with Jane outside work so you are definitely not being unreasonable to feel slighted and left out. Jane has very bad manners and your DH is being very disloyal to accept the invitation and go without you.

It's really odd that your DH has decided to attend, to be honest. Why would he do that? Far easier, surely, to say 'Thanks very much Jane but I'm afraid Witch and I already have plans that day'

I can't think of a single reason for him to go alone. He should have politely declined. If you all work together she's rude and odd to invite only him, and he's rude and odd to decide to go. It's clearly going to make work difficult afterwards - far easier for him to be busy and neither of you attend.

Likewise
But these all work together

I have been too many weddings without DH. They have all been work colleagues of mine. He wouldn't know anyone and it would have been awkward. He was more than happy not to be invited!

@Thewitchofwestminster

Blimey, so many questions. Is there any reason you can think of why only he has been invited? Have they worked extensively on a project together or has he helped her in some tangible way and this is a kind of "reward". Otherwise it's gob smackingly rude and weird. I would be extremely unhappy about my DH attending if none of the above applies (or even if it did to be honest). What's your DH saying about it?

I think it is rude and strange she has only invited your husband.

Personally I would have been unhappy if my husband said he was going under those circumstances but I know younger people do things differently nowadays. What happened to a married couple being a team and supporting each other? My husband would never have gone without me under those circumstances because he'd know I was hurt and it's horrible and weird (almost spiteful) if you both know her equally well?

No, it's weird. You always invite spouses, and nowadays that would include long-term partners. Most people offer a plus-one anyway, so even boy/girl friends that don't live together often get invited.
Exceptions might be during a pandemic, or if you were an ex/had been problematic. Yes, she can do what she wants, including asking everyone to take a ten week holiday in Australia, wearing bikinis made from real diamonds, but it is weird, and if I were your husband I would definitely decline.

It’s odd that the two people she socialises with, and one is not invited, rude I think! Why doesn’t OP make the cut, but her DH does?

Both weird and rude in equal measure.
I’d expect my husband to put me first and decline the invite.

Very odd choice then!!

I agree that it’s strange that the boss and his wife are invited (does the boss’ wife worth there too?) yet your husband has been invited as a lone person when you socialise with them and work with them.
if it’s a numbers thing they would be better if not inviting your DH.
what does DH think about it? Does he feel it weird you’re not invited?

It is if you are close to the couple. When it comes to work colleagues it is usually fine to invite without partners on the assumption you invite plenty of them so they have a group of people they know and can chat to. Inviting only 1 or 2 without partners is strange.

What etiquette. You have to always invite the wife or your whole team. Everyone you socialise with. Who made up this rule?

I think just inviting a workmate when you don’t their spouse is fine but not when they are in the same place. What explanation have they given?