AIBU to feel awkward about only my husband being invited to the wedding?

She’s a rude bitch and I’m gobsmacked your DH is going !
I wouldn’t try to change his mind.
I wouldn’t discuss it at all but it would change my opinion of him.
I’d honestly think that ‘ people pleasing ‘ was more important to him than having my back .

Sorry, I'm pretty much of the opinion that you do things with your husband together and separately. I would happily go to a wedding alone and my husband would too - BUT - this is really odd. She does know you and I think it really rude and definitely wouldn't socialise again with her. The one I would be really miffed with though would be my husband for even entertaining the idea. Wrong, very wrong.

Jane hasn’t just made it abundantly clear that she doesn’t want you at her wedding she has made it obvious to everyone else at work she doesn’t by only inviting your H! It will be noticed and spoke about by the other two members of your work team! It’s a deliberate divide and conquer tactic that shows Jane is toxic and not afraid of making the atmosphere at work awkward or uncomfortable for other members of the team let alone a married couple who she works and socialises with.
Your H doesn’t have your back at work or outside of it and got annoyed when his mum pointed out that you should have been invited as you both work with her. You don’t invite one without the other and it’s not simply an oversight on Jane’s part as she invited the boss’s partner to her wedding even though she doesn’t know her! Even the boss and partner will find it odd you’ve been excluded @Thewitchofwestminster and if I were the boss I’d be worried one of you isn’t t a great fit for such a small team at work.

"He is a people pleaser"

Well he isn't a wife pleaser. My dh wouldn't go, as it is a slight to me.
She is very rude.

Or has one of Jane's mates got a thing for the DH? Or is it even worse that that?

Im just hoping that Jane is just socially inept or just plain rude rather than calculating.

That’s really weird. Im not surprised you feel awkward. That is awkward. My DH wouldn’t go in those circumstances

Hope we get an update on this!

Oh please say you have spoken to your husband since your original post @Thewitchofwestminsterand he isn’t going.
It’s just weird and wrong.

she’s not your friend, and your not so darling h is not very loyal.

That’s so true. I work with some married couples and it would be incredibly weird if only one of them went to a mutual colleague’s wedding - well unless there was some sort of childcare issues involved, which doesn’t seem to be the case.

The poor OP is being humiliated on different levels. She’s been excluded as a colleague she’s been excluded as a friend and she’s been excluded as a plus one. She’s being humiliated by her husband attending under the circumstances, and then will be further humiliated by the fact her office would know she’d how badly she’d been humiliated.

And her husband doesn’t see this? He is either sleeping with/hopes to be sleeping with Jane, or a complete deadweight.

Jane is unbelievably rude and your husband should not go.

This is brilliant!

Because it was a social event for everyone who worked in that particular industry, and most of the other people did have had their partners with them. Also, we knew a lot of the people who would be going, so they would immediately wonder why DH was there without me.

Are the other guests likely to ask your H why you aren’t there? If so, what will he say?

Social etiquette is obviously not Jane's strong point. Your husband's loyalty is to you. He should not be going. They're both dicks in this situation.

The only way imo that this could be acceptable is if a group of work colleagues had been invited all without their spouses and partners. Otherwise that's too weird and I'd have the hump of all humps!

It’s very weird and rude from Jane not to invite you and from your DH to accept the invite . He should think really hard about the situation and reconsider going.

His stance about support is ridiculous tbh. What kind of support Jane might need from him at her wedding?

Eh? It was a work related event and no other employee had their spouse there, so why would anyone ask your husband where his wife was?

Imagine back to work on Monday after that in a small team. Toxic and so utterly weird!!

Absolutely, some men are really thick about stuff like this, it needs spelling out. If Jane was a man inviting the wife and not him… how would that shoe fit on the other foot?

I’m just amazed. You’re both friends outside work with her and she’s effectively snubbed you. Totally in the wrong and your husband should have politely declined. She’s getting married and hitting on him. How odd of her!

But she is the only one of the work colleagues that also socialises with the bride that hasn't been invited, so I think it's fairly reasonable to say she has been shunned.

Jane is incredibly rude and stupid. I would make sure DH understands it's rude and inappropriate behaviour.

Obviously DH can go to the wedding if he must but he needs to understand that Jane has been very rude to his wife.

I would not socialize with Jane outside work anymore going forward and make sure DH understands why and fully supports this decision. Not gaslights you into thinking you're oversensitive or some bullishit like that.

I would expect a husband to refuse on the grounds of a prior commitment (i.e. to his wife and her plans). He still can refuse having 'remembered' a longstanding prior commitment.

Jane is odd though for only inviting OP's DH. I agree she can invite whomever she choose because it's her wedding. It would be better if she didn't invite DH at all if she's going to be petty and not invite OP even though her and OP are friends. There's something off about this and I think OP is justified to feel miffed about it.

Especially as OP's DH is going to the wedding.

How to dismiss someone's feelings.

I'm sure OP know what weddings are and also, how to entertain herself.

It doesn't negate the Jane's rudeness or how OP feels about it.