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AIBU?

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AIBU to think correcting a slightly unusual name pronunciation is unnecessary?

138 replies

Slownie · 26/04/2026 14:35

Hi all,
So my niece has a parent who isn’t from the uk, she has a name that’s very common in the uk but pronounced slightly different. Think Isabella but pronounced “ee-sa-bell-ah instead of iz-ah-bell-uh or Eva said eh-va not ee-va.

My sister insists on correcting the pronunciation every single time, even if the person mis-pronouncing is most irrelevant and my niece also has started doing this (and also insisting on the longest version of her name)

AIBU thinking that if you are born and raised in the uk you should expect the name to be pronounced the way it normally is, in the uk and not correct everyone, every time?

OP posts:
intrepidpanda · 26/04/2026 15:53

What do you mean the longs version of her name? Her name is her name.
If she is Isabella she is Isabella not izzy. Izzy is not her name.
Pronunciation is very much part of your name too

Ineffable23 · 26/04/2026 15:48

Loulou4022 · 26/04/2026 14:43

So if your name was Louisa and people called you Louise would you correct them? Of course you would and of course you sister can and should correct peoples pronunciation of her daughter name. However she does need to accept that when meeting new people they will probably pronounce it wrong

Edited

I mean unless I am going to deal with them regularly, or it matters, honestly I don't. I get called the equivalent of that on a faaaaiirrlly regular basis and just don't care that much. I correct them if I am going to come across them regularly and I think they'll be embarrassed at a later date, or if I need them to write my name on a form or something.

Ultraalox · 26/04/2026 15:46

User7435977 · 26/04/2026 15:39

I don’t think I’ve ever read a more unreasonable post.

Nah I just read one about how bad sourdough is, that was worse.

purpleme12 · 26/04/2026 15:44

You're wrong

Purpletable · 26/04/2026 15:43

MummyWillow1 · 26/04/2026 15:34

How can you be certain you will never meet them again? It doesn’t take much to use your ears and get it right.

Checking into a hotel for example, I wouldn’t correct the person at the desk if he/she pronounced my name differently. Or if a shop assistant in my local city did. Mostly they’re reading my name from a list of guests or orders, so their ears/listening skills aren’t relevant.

I do actually have a name that can be pronounced a few different ways, and this is what I choose to do. I don’t think it’s necessary to insist on a certain pronunciation in the sort of situations I mentioned. I can guess at the likelihood of meeting someone again, and if I get that wrong, well, it’s okay to make the correction at a later stage 😁

Hardgarden · 26/04/2026 15:43

User7435977 · 26/04/2026 15:39

I don’t think I’ve ever read a more unreasonable post.

New to mumsnet?

outerspacepotato · 26/04/2026 15:43

Pronounce it how the person wants their name pronounced.

Pronouncing it "your" way instead of theirs is rude and an asshole move.

User7435977 · 26/04/2026 15:39

I don’t think I’ve ever read a more unreasonable post.

MummyWillow1 · 26/04/2026 15:38

PeatandDieselfan · 26/04/2026 14:56

I dunno, I'm on the fence here. I basically accidentally changed my name (it's still spelled the same, but pronounced differently) when I moved to a different country, purely because I couldn't be bothered correcting people all the time, and it was easier just to go with the pronunciation people in this country are familiar with. It's always a surprise when my friends here meet my friends and family from the UK. But its my name, and I'm an adult. Probably I would feel differently if it was one of my children's names (all carefully chosen to work in both places!)

That is your choice. If you hadn’t chosen that then the people in the other country would have learnt eventually, probably after the first time you told them!

MummyWillow1 · 26/04/2026 15:34

Purpletable · 26/04/2026 15:17

Not certain which way to vote as I think it’s fine to correct people you’ll have any sort of a relationship with, but I think it’s a bit pointless (and even slightly aggressive) if the person who’s making the mistake is someone you’re only interacting with very briefly and will never meet again.

How can you be certain you will never meet them again? It doesn’t take much to use your ears and get it right.

Ultraalox · 26/04/2026 15:34

She should only need to correct anyone one time. After that they should know how to say it? And of course she needs to make sure it’s pronounced properly.

MummyWillow1 · 26/04/2026 15:32

araiwa · 26/04/2026 14:41

Utter horseshit

How will people know if they aren't told?

This. It gets old really fast if you are the person doing the correcting but just because it is written down a certain way doesn’t mean that is the noise their name makes. A name is a series of sounds attributed to a person. Say the correct sound. Anything else isn’t their name regardless of how it is written down.

Purpletable · 26/04/2026 15:17

Not certain which way to vote as I think it’s fine to correct people you’ll have any sort of a relationship with, but I think it’s a bit pointless (and even slightly aggressive) if the person who’s making the mistake is someone you’re only interacting with very briefly and will never meet again.

OwlBeThere · 26/04/2026 15:17

I think you should pronounce a persons name as they say it. My only caveat to that is if it contains sounds that aren’t in their native tongue and they are doing their best but failing. The Welsh ‘Ll’ for instance, or the click tones in Xhosa.

imaravenGRONKGRONK · 26/04/2026 15:14

I have a Welsh name and it’s consistently mispronounced everywhere outside Wales. I’ve had to make my peace with it because I’d go mad otherwise. I think a bit of grace on both sides wouldn’t go amiss - try to pronounce her name as she wants it pronounced, definitely (and deliberately not doing so is a dick move of the highest order), but equally, if there’s an English ‘version’ of that name, they need to be prepared for most people to assume that it’ll be pronounced the English way.

I alway wonder how people with names like Alexander and Frances deal with this. Is it very annoying to have people from the other end of the country use the wrong a sound?

Shayisgreat · 26/04/2026 15:10

Oh ffs, of course she is right to correct how people pronounce the name if they say it incorrectly.

I have an Irish name. Some people mispronounce it because they don't recognise it/have heard it said a different way. Should I just accept any version of my name without correcting people because it's a different language? No! Should I have anglified my name so that people in the UK can sound it out phonetically? Fuck no! Do you change your name when you travel so that the locals can say it easier? Doubt it.

On the other hand, should you tolerate mild differences based in accent? Absolutely! But that doesn't seem to be what you're suggesting the issue is. Just pronounce her name the way she and her family say it.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 26/04/2026 15:01

I think people should call people by their names, not they way THEY think it should be said.

I also note that you say the child is insisting on the long version of her name. That's fine, if she prefers her full name to a shortened version, why shouldn't she use that? My daughter accepts being called a shortened version because we have shortened it pretty much since birth, but she likes the full name and introduces herself as it when she's asked her name.

It's her name, she's allowed to want to be called it.

Crushed23 · 26/04/2026 15:00

I have the opposite problem. Some people pronounce my name in a slightly more exotic way and I have no idea why (think E-le-na instead of Eleanor). I’m English, though living in the States, and have olive skin and dark eyes, so it could be that. I don’t bother correcting them.

PeatandDieselfan · 26/04/2026 15:00

@Femalemachinest ha ha we have the same name! Maybe it's a Laura (Lora/Lau - Ra) thing to not give a toss...

Femalemachinest · 26/04/2026 14:56

Im laura. I worked with a lot of Europeans who pronounced my name their way. Tbh it didnt bother me, although there was other people who corrected people who didnt pronounce it our way. I also had one Bulgarian lady constantly spelling my name Lora because of our way.

I guess if it bothers someone its only them that can correct it. If it doesnt then crack on.

PeatandDieselfan · 26/04/2026 14:56

I dunno, I'm on the fence here. I basically accidentally changed my name (it's still spelled the same, but pronounced differently) when I moved to a different country, purely because I couldn't be bothered correcting people all the time, and it was easier just to go with the pronunciation people in this country are familiar with. It's always a surprise when my friends here meet my friends and family from the UK. But its my name, and I'm an adult. Probably I would feel differently if it was one of my children's names (all carefully chosen to work in both places!)

TerracottaBowl · 26/04/2026 14:51

But her name isn’t Izzabella, it’s Ees-a-Bella, or whatever. What you are saying is a different collection of sounds, and not her name.

ArtAngel · 26/04/2026 14:51

It's really not OK to shorten someone's name without indication that its OK. If a child and the parent tell you the name is Benjamin that's the name you use - not Ben.

LifeIsAMeatball · 26/04/2026 14:49

It’s a nod to her heritage and important.

SoScarletItWas · 26/04/2026 14:45

Hardgarden · 26/04/2026 14:42

And probably repeatedly pronounces it incorrectly just to piss off her sister

The BRITISH way.

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