why is it hard to like other people’s boy children

You really need to move on from blaming women for how boys/men turn out.

Society has a huge problem with men - good men need to stop standing to the side on this and parent their children (boys and girls) better. And call out bad behaviour when they see it.

A large proportion of women hate women? You haven't exonerated yourself from that group with your own comments blaming mothers for male behaviour.

The strongest vibes on this thread are on a par with men who reply to videos online about women talking about the pattern of experiences with men with some deflection bullshit.

You are all the problem my friends. When we talk about changing things in society, you are the ones obstructing it with the absolute wilful pretence that we don't have a problem with how boys are raised and socialised.

You sound absolutely awful with your silly bigoted opinions, i imagine you strive for the usual instagram style girl mom aesthetics with your daughters -yawn, and i bet they are little angels who treat all their friends with kindness 🙄
I have sons and a daughter so feel qualified in my experience of being a mother to both sex's unlike yourself.
My boys and their many friends were as little boys and now men, nice,decent bright and chatty - many other positives .
All the negatives you speak about can be attached to girls too you know.
Speaking of which my much adored -equally to her brothers -daughter has many of the positive attributes needed to be socially acceptable and successful in life similar to her brothers .
They were all pretty easy to raise but if i had to think hard about it i would say my boys were probably easier.
Threads like yours are really beginning to rile me and as to your comment asking' if there is any way we can tackle this in society ? ' well just go and piss right off with your patronising fake concern.

No, it means that particular experience is the exception, and my daughter's is more of a rule. And you know it. You all know it.

I’ve, well we because DH helped too, raised two boys to adulthood. They’re nothing like the man you’ve described nor were they like the boys you described. Our sons are polite, respectful, helpful, kind, loving and considerate people. I don’t buy into all this boys will be boys bullshit, they’re just kids and were treated that way, but at the same time they were individuals so some needs are different.

DS2 is now a parent, to a 2yo boy. He’s totally equal when it comes to chores, cooking and parenting. In fact, if you asked DDIL she’d probably say he does more, but he works out of the home for more hours so that can’t be true.

DS1 cooks and cleans. He would never up and leave the table, leaving DDIL to clean up, but then DH doesn’t do that either. It doesn’t matter whose house he’s at, he pitches in.

Children are products of their own environment. They can’t be what they can’t see. If you don’t guide and teach them then they don’t know how to become decent human beings, regardless of their sex.

I'm so glad you missed the point about the bigger picture, always makes it worthwhile reading a reply.

Let me guess OP - you also believe trans women are women, right?

As a girl mum many of the boys my dds have been friends with / gone out with have been lovely. Dd2 is now at a boys school for 6th form. The vast majority of the lads are decent.

However there is a small vile group of boys that play a particular sport 🙄 who are sponsored to do so so are lauded and are routinely horrific to the girls. Despite most of the girls and many of the nice boys giving statements about this they are not being expelled as was initially planned as their parents went mad.

The staff are frustrated about it too. That’s the issue in my mind. There are a minority who are not parenting their sons properly and this is the outcome - it’s horrible and dangerous. However annoying women and girls are and Not denying many are - they do not end up as damaging as this.

0/10

Try harder

Replying anyway despite the lack of effort made in goading.

I meet lovely children of either sex and annoying children of both sex as well.

Interesting - DH often less worried with both our girls and boy than I was.

In our case it was often our girls who pushed boundaries and what they could do more than DS who often need a push and encouragement - but that was due to personality.

I rememeber my IL freaking out when our teens were using kettles - as they seem to see them as more incapable and younger than they were. They dangerously relaxed when parents but DH was cooking unsupervised before he was a teen.

As GC though I think not seeing them every day and being much older they didn't keep up with their ablities and what their ages meant. Though my own parents never let us touch kettle till we were past 18 - so no hot drinks till we left home basically.

Very sexist and stereotypical OP! It’s down to the individual child and parenting they have received, not their sex. Very sad to see this generalisation.

You complain about people “hitting back with gross stereotypes about women” but don’t seem to be able to see that you did the exact same thing to boys.

I will say, that having worked in primary schools, by far the most unpleasant behaviour from children came from the girls in my classes. That doesn’t mean that all girls could be horrible and boys lovely. It is down to the individual.

If you are expecting boys to not be as nice, then you will look for examples to support this and overlook other evidence.

I find my two boys (9 and 12) perfectly easy to get on with and I don’t recognise any of the behaviour mentioned in your OP. Also their male friends are lovely and polite, in fact I always feel it’s the girls who are silently judging me and make me uncomfortable. It’s whatever you’re used to I suppose.

edited for typos made whilst eating biscuits

I have three boys. None of them behave as OP describes, however, I do see some of her point. I think expectations of my kids to help at gatherings is low because they are boys. I always remind them to ask the host at least once what they can do to help and, at the very least, help clear the table when the meal is done because generally older relatives will not involve them. The rest of the behaviour you describe is not boy specific, it’s just poor parenting. Perhaps these boys’ parents are influenced by their sex, but that’s not the boys’ fault.

Never found this.

I think your issue may be with particular kids and how they are being parented or even paricular extended events where you see them.

I've found some diffcult boys and girls often due to upbringing - parents with no control and lots of excuses - and even them many of the are fine with me as I'm clear and firm and it's often not a big telling off needed but more subtle behavior. Some aren't though especially if the parents are type not to let others have boundaries and think world should fit round their child and some kids just have personalities that are more difficult or don't mesh well with some others.

Halfmunch
Some of the comments about women and girls are really quite appalling and do not correlate at all with stating I have met boys who are lazy and entitled. It seems it’s ok to hit back with gross stereotypes about women and girls in a bid to try to prove me wrong that men aren’t a danger to women as statistical aggressors, and to point out that male entitlement needs to be addressed in childhood to protect women.
It is true that there is a large portion of women who hate women, and these women are raising boys. This thread very much shows this

But op while I don’t agree with the girl comments you asked about your case: a 12 year old boy and 9 year old boys- Why are you bringing up the sort of posts about a kid? Why can’t you bond with those three children? Surely when they act out you correct them then chat/ play as you would with girls? I think that is the issue, that some women see men as another planet away. Just look at that thread at the moment where op says her and her friends are all very responsible, delightful people and men are all so hard to be around. There’s awful men and women, boys and girls!!

Personally, I find boys much more pleasant to be around at softplays etc, they always engage politely with my child and include them more naturally. A 4 yo girl a few days ago called us "losers" and was so full on i was glad when she left. Another girl on a separate occasion was manhandling my child and bending their arms, trying to pick them up and boss them around (obviously i was there and intervened) and another girl at play group pushed my child over onto the floor because they walked over near her mum... I've also found older boys lovely, ie going for a walk a few evenings ago and my child took an interest in the much older (mid teens) ball and they were letting my child play, encouraging them to kick the ball etc. But I dont tar all girls with the same brush, i think its parenting thats largely in the issue, that's the difference.

My child is a boy, hes only 1.5yo but he tidies up his own toys (obviously I help open the box etc), he "helps" to cook/bake as much as I can safely allow, he puts our clothes in the washing machine, takes them out, puts them in the dryer, starts the dryer (again, with guidance), he has his own toy kitchen, toy sweeping brushes (though he mostly plays with mine!), toy teapot, toy sink where he washes (fake) pots, when I'm cleaning he has his own cloth and he copies me, etc etc. Its all about how we parent. He isnt going to be a lazy, entitled male, we need to do more as parents to show that males and females do it all.

I cant relate to your post at all OP.

This is a big problem on here and I’m not going to say otherwise.

In an attempt to defend boys, some think it is necessary to make generalised and unpleasant (not to mention largely untrue) comments about girls.

Because we grew up with our sons, we got to know why they were as they were, and also had the lovely moments where you had down to earth, lovely chats, where they told you how much they appreciated you, where you laughed til you couldn’t breathe. I don’t think any families should ever ever blend with boys or girls unless the new dp is ready to jump in head first and properly get to know the dc

ps board games, poker and watching YouTube or playing football with them help!!!

You need to make the effort, I have two sons polar opposites of each other both great kids and now adults. Their friends were also great kids and I still see some.
I work with 16+ tthe lads are great, very funny and have problems, insecurities and dreams same as the girls. It's finding common ground and building on that. They are very loyal in my experience, sometimes behind the girls in maturity but not often met any child that I didn't like, like once or twice in my life and I have lived a very child focused life.

Some of us have 1 child, can hardly afford aiplane flight tickets to see extended family, leave alone when sit down for some food or barbecue abroad we are there to gaze at boys and dissect them playing football. Really?