Hi all
I have 3 younger sisters and I am the eldest. All the sisters are 28, 22 and 19. The 28 year old sister and I are already engaged and my wedding is in July.
I called my mum to plan a walk with our dogs, and she had told me she had some news. Apparently, my youngest sister, who is 19 is engaged. My mum didn't seem overjoyed, but she said they're adults, he is a nice guy and she cant really stop them, but has told them it will need to be a really long engagement.
I am also not exactly overjoyed myself.
My sister had left school after her A Levels and it took almost a year for her to find a job. She does have one now, which is a part time, minimum wage job. Her now fiance, doesnt work at all (he does do odd handyman jobs for his dad etc). He is 2 years older at 21.
They got engaged on their first holiday away together but before that, have never spent more than one night together. They are also not in a financial position to rent or buy a house etc.
I too got engaged at 19 for my first marriage, and married at 21 and obviously this ended quite badly. Once we were married, I seen a completely different side to him, and at a young age, was exposed to DV regularly and had little prior experience or knowledge of relationships to navigate it. Now, I am tied to him forever, because we had a child.
I had said to my mum that I think she is far too young and needs to grow up a LOT before getting married. For context, she still has all her meals cooked at home, cant do her own washing, has morning wake up calls by my mum so she actually gets up or manage her own finances (always owes people money etc) and has lived a relatively sheltered upbringing by my mum. My mum agrees with all of this.
I know that my sister is an adult, and its her choice. I have been out to get them a card and engagement gift as I would for anybody else and called her to say congratulations.
However, AIBU for feeling different behind the scenes? I just don't want the same mistakes that I did, to happen again, and I do fear for how immature and vulnerable that she appears to me.