AIBU to challenge my partner's Sunday football commitment and family time?

Another way to view it is "why do so many mums not set aside some time for their own interests/ hobbies/ sports?"

I took up C25k as a way to get fit around the needs of a BF baby and got quite into running, and by the time he was 18m, I fell in love with half-marathons. I was an early riser anyway so could get runs of up to 2 hours in fairly early on a Sunday morning.

The big issue is commitment and intrusion into family time, but the time slot for this isn't too bad and allows for a decent chunk of family outing time earlier in the day. If it was around lunchtime cleaving the day in two, that would be an issue.

Sometimes men's/ dads hobbies posts are about them being a selfish, avoident idiot. Sometimes they're not that unreasonable and are more about the woman/ mum not prioritising a proportionate chunk of time for herself.

In the end my running mutated into family time via junior parkrun and I've now got teenagers who love running for themselves so my "me time" turned out to have a long term family benefit.

That time is usually prep for the week ahead anyway. You've got all of Saturday and 2/3 of Sunday, sounds pretty healthy to me.

My partner used to play semi-professional football on Saturdays, he would leave at 12 and get home at 7 for a 3pm kick off. It nearly broke us up
tbh, he didn’t understand why I resented being the default childcare every Saturday for 8 months of the year. I do get where you’re coming from but I think I would have preferred a Sunday late afternoon but that may be because our Sunday afternoons are usually spent at home getting ready for the week.

I understand why you would feel like this. It is frustrating having a day taken up knowing you need to be back at a certain time. Like you were often do family days at the weekend.
As others say, can you make sure Saturday is the protected day for doing any day trips?

It’d be worth saying that ‘all bets are off’ if/when one or both DC do activities at weekends - likely once your eldest is 11+

You say you wfh full time in the week: who does the weekday parenting and any drop offs / pick ups, meals etc? If you do much more than DH this affects my view about his hobby time at weekends.

YABU for ‘sacred family time’ and wanting that all weekend, every weekend. Days out could be done on Saturdays and you could take equivalent time out at another time on Sundays.

It sounds nothing like that, it just sounds like she doesn’t want her Sundays dictated to for the next few years.

Saturday can be the "family day", you can take some time out for yourself on Sunday morning. You sound a bit controlling tbh. It's fine to want an equal amount of child free time, but it sounds more like this is you wanting to have control of the whole weekend.

Honestly I can't see why 4pm on a Sunday really sucks? You can go out at say 10am and be back for 3pm, it's much better than a hobby in the morning or early afternoon. Just make sure you also get some hobby time for yourself OP.

I think it's okay for both partners to have some time for themselves, and as far as weekends go I think Sunday afternoon is the best time because you're had family time and the children can just relax at home at that point. Does your partner have any other hobbies? Your children are at the easiest ages, where they aren't preschoolers that need constant supervision but also not young teens that need taking all over the place for their own sport/social commitments so I'd think a few hours of parenting on your own on Sunday afternoon would be very manageable. Do you have time for a hobby yourself?

Is this a same sex relationship? You’re doing the “my partner/they/themself” thing which for some reason lesbian women often do on MN.

I wouldn’t tolerate a partner suddenly telling me it was “non-negotiable” to spend every Sunday afternoon at a new hobby without a reasonable discussion. Especially not if he (or she in your case?) is going with a colleague.

I think both of you should get the opportunity to do things independently, without the kids, but until the kids are older no-one gets to “unilaterally” decide that they’re doing something at a specific time - of course there needs to be a discussion about it.

The main issue is him not discussing it with you beforehand. He's entitled to do it but so are you. Sunday mornings are yours from now on. You can do anything you want so don't be made to feel guilty

I agree with this. Make Saturday family day. It’s totally acceptable for him to have 3 hours on a Sunday afternoon. Presumably it’s not all year round anyways

Just change your days out together to Saturdays x

Funny how many men take up hobbies with young kids at home

It’s not exactly ruining the weekend. 4pm on a Sunday, the weekend is pretty much over by then. Why don’t you have some time to yourself at some point?

DH goes to the football every weekend but I get that time back in other ways. I don’t think it’s fair to ask him to stop his hobby unfortunately. Just make sure you’re also getting 3 hours to do whatever you want.

Wouldn't bother me at all. What is the issue with looking after the kids between 3 and 6?

You get sunday morning 3 hours (he can cook lunch too) he gets afternoon.

This would not have bothered me at all
Just make sure you get 3 hours to yourself too

A sporting hobby that carries on into adult and parenting years is more than the average hobby or commitment. As such, it's something I'd not stand in the way of.

Tell him it's fine, that you are going to have 9-12 every Sunday morning so you have equal down time. Then make sure you use it- out of the house, so you don't get roped into parenting. You could do gym, swim and sauna, breakfast with a friend.....

I’ve said YABU. he’s allowed a hobby and something that gets him out of the house and exercising is great.