To be furious with DH for this?

Don’t know, I haven’t verified the facts myself. A legal loophole I expect…. 🤷‍♀️ There are plenty of them!

Feel free to check…. You can let us know…

Legal or not, given what I’ve read, I’d be stopping him coming back in the home one way or another.

I’d be gathering evidence and building a case against him, just in case. And if this is what the OP does to keep the kids and herself safe, so be it.

Same thing happened to me with my second, he came home the following afternoon as my family and I were packing our things to leave

Is it true though? How is it legally different from changing the locks? You’re preventing him access to his property either way.

Good to know! 😉

@Coffeecherrymama

This has got to be the worst thing I have read for a while, I’m so sorry OP!

You must be exhausted!

Congrats on new baby. This is not how you should be spending your time right now.

Please do not allow him back home.

Get advice. Get help. And get rid!

Please, also rest when you can, and when you are able, we’d all love an update to know you’re ok? We’re all behind you!

(And MiL can go do one too!)

Do you own or rent?

Find his passport and hide it or rip it just enjoy giving him a headache- sorry you are in this situation and I hope you get some support from family and friends

From a legal point of view, how does this differ from barring him access by changing the locks?

My ex did a very similar thing, going out "to wet the baby's head" until all hours, coming back at 5am drunk. Then it continued most months after that for a good while. Although the drinking and boyish nights out stopped, his behaviour and selfish ways didn't. Long story. 16 years later I divorced him and I'm so much happier and free. I'm not controlled anymore and don't have to put up with behaviour like this. More so, neither do my DCs.
Think of your babies and get out now.
Stay strong x

The OP has already mentioned she works full time, and is more than likely getting a UC top-up and child benefit. We don't know how much they earn, either. They were also on maternity leave. They might have savings, money from parents etc...

From a civil law side, no. But if you know that he cant afford to take you to court to gain access, then you will probably be ok. And you are assuming that he is clever enough to know this, which he clearly isnt.

However, what you can do is ADD locks, bolts etc and that is perfectly fine and legal. Also, if you have a door that he doesnt have a key to then you can leave your key turned in the main door lock, and then use the other door.

If you both own the home, then no, legally you cannot change the locks. Please do not do this. If you are both renting, with both names on the tenancy, you'd have to arrange for his name to be taken off before you'd be able to change the locks. You cannot just lock someone out of someone's legally owned/tenanted home.

Exactly.
And his family should be supporting that approach, not making pathetic excuses.

I'd be interested to know how he has been able to afford the ticket to Ibiza, and who hes going with.
This sounds like a very difficult and disappointing situation for OP. I hope it doesnt turn out to be the case that this is not the first time he's behaved so badly.

I'm sorry I've just read your updates, that horrendous of him what a horrible little man. He's taking advantage of you massively, as hard as it is get rid - itl be hard at first but easier on your own as you won't have to deal with his behaviour

If he is joint owner of the house no you can’t. Some domestic abuse charities might be able to advise what you can do. It is cathartic to talk about doing things like locking him out of the house and cutting up his clothes but in reality this can all backfire on you. Unfortunately being a good for nothing twat is not a criminal offence but damaging or destroying someone’s property or locking them out of their own home is. If only we got to make the laws …

@Coffeecherrymama if H has been out of work for 16 months and continually moaning about doing everything at home while you’re at work, why did you both think having a second child would improve the situation?

The first night home?! That's inexcusable! He should be looking after the baby/the older one whilst you rest, and most importantly caring for you!

You can get a chain on the door on the inside, and leave it chained.

I was thinking, how did he afford the Ibiza ticket?

Only if he has the money to take her to civil court, which he doesnt. She is fine about changing the locks.

Stop telling OP to do something that could land her in trouble. If they both own the house, she'd be making a serious mistake by changing the locks.

Where does he get all his money if he is out of work?

Good for you OP. Every bit of information you give about this man he falls even lower in my estimation, and it was extremely low to start with. He’s out on the piss when you’ve just had a baby, brings in no money, moans about helping about the house - what is even the point of him.

Change the locks and pack up his stuff. Can your sister or Dad come and stay with you?

his mummy can have him back.