To be furious with DH for this?

Sounds to me as if he wants out, I would let him go he sounds horrible and useless and his parents are scum. He doesnt have a job so who is paying for his holiday? Just get rid of the trash.

You’ll cope better than you think as you won’t have a husband you can’t rely on. He’s lied to you as said he knew nothing about the tickets to Ibiza and then told
his parents you were letting him go. You can’t trust him (nor his parents). Surround yourself and rely on people you can trust, like your sister. What’s her advice?

I agree with this, op is maybe forgetting that the main cause of her problems is this man and not her children.
However he will want you to feel as if you can't cope without him that's why he's doing this OP- he wants to get more leverage so that he can dominate and control you for his own benefit.

Agree.
Filming him in a disgusting is a great idea and proof.
As is disposing of his phone permanently.
Huge inconvenience to him.
He won't remember.

So he denied that he’s going to Ibiza? Well the first thing I’d have said to that is “ok well I’ve cancelled the flights anyway” then watch his reaction

Women that I have met tend to do well on their own with children, they are not having to worry about what the arsehole is doing. You have made these children I suspect without any help from him. You have probably put up with bad behaviour before but brushed it off. He has probably been abusive for a while. Reach out to women’s aid, they can direct you to help, support groups, support with benefits. This isn’t just him being a prat this is him knowingly planning to abandon his newly delivered partner this is abusive. don’t be surprised if more stuff comes out now you made a decision to divorce.

Who is he taking to Ibiza with him? I presume he’s paid for the tickets, so is he paying for this other person too? I’d find it odd if he was paying for a mate to go with him.

If his parents believe him and justify his actions they’re scumbags too. I’d have nothing to do with them either as sounds like they enable his behaviour. So sorry you’re going through this post partum, definitely speak with the midwife as I expect you’re having regular visits ?

So he’s gone from denying he is going to Ibiza, to saying you agreed he could go, within a couple of days?

Unbelievable that he should behave like this even if he did somehow think you’d agreed to either the first night drinking or trip away! He’s a selfish idiot not a mature caring man, and certainly not a husband or father.
it will be tough going to start with but it sounds like you have a great sister beside you - I think you will have a better life without him.

@Coffeecherrymama

(read your latest updates)

Wow!

So he’s doubling down…. He really has shown you who he is.

I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this right now.

I know you’re worried about coping without him. Honestly, I think you will find a way. It’ll be really hard, it’ll take time to find your rhythm and to problem solve the different layers, but future you won’t regret it. What would the alternative look like now in all honesty anyway?

You deserve better! And better might just be him not adding to your stresses.

You will manage on your own OP. He’s a dreadful liar and blaming you. I’d not forgive that.

And you won’t have to spend any time cleaning up his vomit

Even the fact now that he’s lying to his parents and blaming you for him being such a prick he doesn’t deserve you I promise you will be 100% better of without him he needs to grow up who books Ibiza knowing his wife literally just gave birthed selfish and self centred and you don’t deserve that at all neither do your babies sending you support

Sounds like you're doing pretty well without him anyhow.

Who is the other ticket for??

I think he sounds awful but you don’t have to decide anything this second. Just tread water for a day or two and concentrate on your recovery and getting some rest if you can. Let your hormones settle down and then have a think about the long term future and what it could look like IF you did decide to divorce.

How helpful is he really?

And now he has revealed himself to be even more unreliable (staying out all night and coming home wrecked), AND a total liar.

Plus he's about to swan off to Ibiza and leave you on your own with your new baby and your daughter!

Definitely get your ducks in a row while he's gone OP.

💐

Of course you will cope, you've done it since Saturday

You will cope.

He's a dick. He's said that you agreed he could go to Ibiza but what kind of bloke would ask that a few days after their wife had a baby. And left her alone the WHOLE of the first night getting up to fuck knows what. And tattle it all to mummykins to justify his lying behaviour

He's not even remorseful because he's been a twat and acting defensive. If you let him back this will become a pattern.

It will be easier to cope with 2 babies than 3.

honestly, you will find your rhythm. It will be hard but worth it.

It will be easier without him than with him! You have spent the last few days cleaning up the mess he has made. You don’t need that.

Cannot imagine how your emotions are right now OP. It’s a huge deal realise you husband is such an arse and you need to divorce but to be doing that on the post partum hormone rollercoaster must be intense. Look after yourself.

It is far easier to be on your own and have no expectations of another person, rather than to be with someone and for them to let you down.
I’m sorry you are going through this. Your H is acting like a selfish teenager.

I promise you, you will cope.

14 years ago at 22, I threw my daughters dad out. I was petrified and skint. He had absolutely bled me dry, emotionally and financially. Now years later those first few years of just my daughter & I are my most favourite years, yes it was hard but I was so so happy. 14 years later I’m doing well at work, had a few promotions and just bought my first house on my own. 22 year old me whose car was being used by her useless partner leaving her to get two busses and walk miles in all weathers just drop her daughter at childcare and go to work, with holes in her shoes and getting to work with soaking wet feet would be bloody proud of where we are now. So again, I promise you, you absolutely can do it!

At least you’ll only have two young ones to look after rather than an additional man-baby.