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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be furious with DH for this?

888 replies

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:05

First night home since giving birth and DH has gone out with his mates drinking and still isn’t home and he isn’t answering any calls or messages. He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left and said he would be back before 10pm but he’s still not home! I’m so angry that he has just left me here with our newborn when he knows I’m struggling but his mum says I’m overreacting and that he’s “entitled to a night out”! I feel like I could just cry to be honest! AIBU?

OP posts:
fashionqueen0123 · 25/04/2026 23:13

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 25/04/2026 23:12

Locking him out seems counterproductive - he has a legal right to be there and if he comes home to find he can’t get in, surely he will just go and stay with a mate and you will be even more stressed.

Hopefully his mates will be long gone and it will be a right pain to go to their houses

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 25/04/2026 23:12

Locking him out seems counterproductive - he has a legal right to be there and if he comes home to find he can’t get in, surely he will just go and stay with a mate and you will be even more stressed.

Namechangerage · 25/04/2026 23:12

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:53

But I don’t really want him around the baby drunk

Can you put the chain on??

fashionqueen0123 · 25/04/2026 23:12

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:53

But I don’t really want him around the baby drunk

Put your key in the lock.
If you have a chain put that on.

Original poster
Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 23:12

He’s still not home and he’s still not answering his calls or messages

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 25/04/2026 23:10

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:15

Because I called her assuming she would be appalled at his behaviour and get him to come back home

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Kindly, it’s nothing to do with her though - were you hoping she would bollock him and order him home?

Strangecat · 25/04/2026 23:10

Unacceptable behaviour! He should be prioritising you and your newborn baby. Try and relax and focus on your baby rather than him. As others suggested, put the keys in the door and go to sleep. congratulations by the way!

Meteorite87 · 25/04/2026 23:09

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:09

Our second child x

His mum is saying he’s “entitled” to a night out and “entitled to celebrate the baby” but I’m absolutely furious

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When do you get an extended time away from home to celebrate your newborn?

Of course his mother would take his side. It's appalling that you are just out of hospital and your DH can't stick around to support you.

canklesmctacotits · 25/04/2026 23:08

Send him to his mum’s when he gets home. And he can stay there until you unlock the doors. Can someone come to give you a hand?

MineThineYom · 25/04/2026 23:05

I had one like this, he rotted away and died in his early 60s. The children were relieved, as was I.
I hope this man comes good OP, but dont let him drag you all down, get out if you need to.
Let his mummy put up with him.

MissyB1 · 25/04/2026 23:04

OP leave your key in the locked door, he won’t be able to unlock it then. Leave a note on the door telling him he’s staying at his mums until you decide whether you want him back again.

Mermaidsaremiracles · 25/04/2026 23:03

I'd be absolutely fucking livid if my DH did this. YANBU. Lock the door and leave the key in. Wetting the baby's head is one thing, but fucking off out the actual day your wife comes home with your newborn, and leaving you without a word or responding to messages is totally and utterly unacceptable.

nocoolnamesleft · 25/04/2026 23:01

Well, he's a selfish fuck, isn't he.

Aiming4Optimistic · 25/04/2026 23:01

This is unforgivable. It would be a divorce level event if my husband did this. What he's saying to you here is that you aren't his priority and that you cannot rely on him to care for you in times of need. He's a man child whose priority is his mates. His mum is shocking as well - she won't advocate for you so don't involve her again.
If this was my h he'd be permanently at his mums from now on.

99bottlesofkombucha · 25/04/2026 22:59

Teacupover5 · 25/04/2026 22:29

Chill out -I was glad my DH was out and I got my lovely baby to myself

This is so unacceptable, I’m raging for the op that women come on here and be absolute assholes to a woman who’s literally just had a baby, has a younger child, and her dh has fucked off. Good for you that you were happy BUT THE OP OBVIOUSLY ISN’T. Thats the whole point of the post. I couldn’t sit up without throwing up from a spinal headache that I needed to be readmitted for at this stage with my second- would you have told me that despite being completely unable to care for either a baby or a toddler I should just enjoy solo parenting them if dh had fucked off to get pissed?? For gods sake can we just let women who gave birth 24 hours ago need help without telling them they’re pathetic???

WallyHilloughby · 25/04/2026 22:59

Well you can see why he’s the way he is having been enabled all his life . She thinks he’s ‘entitled’
says it all!

Coconutter24 · 25/04/2026 22:58

Teacupover5 · 25/04/2026 22:29

Chill out -I was glad my DH was out and I got my lovely baby to myself

But OP isn’t glad she’s home alone.

AnotherName2025 · 25/04/2026 22:58

Send him a message. 'Go to your mothers, or anywhere else. Do not come here or I will call the police' & if he does, then do it, tell them he's drunk & it's your first night home with a newborn & you're scared he'll hurt the baby.

Wonderlandpeony · 25/04/2026 22:57

Like mother like son I would say.

What an absolutely shitty thing to do, I would be so upset.

Tangelablue · 25/04/2026 22:57

I would be telling him not to come back and to stay at his mum's house if he's not interested in being a dad to your new born.

muggart · 25/04/2026 22:57

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:53

He’s still not home. I don’t really want him in the house drunk when he gets home but I have no choice because he has his own key so he will just let himself in.

do you have one of those locks where if you put your key in from the inside then it can’t be opened from the outside

LadyTable · 25/04/2026 22:57

GinaandGin · 25/04/2026 22:43

You were shit stirring
He should not be going out boozing in the first place
He should be at home celebrating the baby by spending time with baby and doing his duties as a father
And supporting his partner.
Attitudes like yours continue the bar being so low that it's in hell

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Oh have a night off ffs.

Attitudes like asking a simple question?? 🤦‍♀️

Of course he shouldn’t have gone out - do keep up.

ChaToilLeam · 25/04/2026 22:56

He is a selfish prick and his mother is a grade A twit and enabler.

I am sorry, OP. Stuff like this you can never forget.

Gymnopedie · 25/04/2026 22:55

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:53

He’s still not home. I don’t really want him in the house drunk when he gets home but I have no choice because he has his own key so he will just let himself in.

Leave the key in the lock your side. All doors.

Villanousvillans · 25/04/2026 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What are you on about? She’s just home with a new baby and he’s gone AWOL. Your post is disgraceful.