To be furious with DH for this?

I don’t think it’s illegal to put your key in the door and then be asleep when someone comes home so you don’t hear him knocking

you can always pass it off as an accident… baby brain plus exhaustion plus no help.. little mistakes are bound to happen!

Yes of course you can. If you think that is for the best and you know he has somewhere to go (mum's, friends, etc.). I would be tempted to leave a note telling him where to go though, as otherwise if he is drunk he may just stand outside your house shouting to be let in, which will stress you out more. A note on the door saying go to your mum's/brother's/friend's house may help.

Don't worry about the "legal" situation. He isn't going to sue you or call the police. This isn't the kind of thing to get divorced over, but teaching him a lesson to pay you and your baby some respect could avoid more problems later.

Whatever happens, tomorrow calmly tell him that he is allowed to see his friends but you need to know that he will put your kids first, and then let it go. He has made a mistake tonight, but people do that.

He’s entitled to enter the house though, even if he is a total cunt

It wasn't even that it used to be acceptable to leave a newly postpartum mother home alone with her newborn to go and wet the baby's head. When this was a common practice women also stayed in hospital with a new baby for a week or two. Older kids would be with a grandmother, so new fathers were at a loose end.

OP - leave your key in the back of the door. Text your DH and tell him to go and sleep at his Mum's house so that he doesn't come back and disturb you in the middle of the night. Consider making that a permanent arrangement tomorrow, and ask your Mum, sister, or a good friend to come and give you the support that your DH is clearly unable to provide.

Hell yes! He forfeited the right to sleep at home tonight when he prioritised getting drunk with his mates over settling his newborn child at home and supporting his wife.

He's a total arse.

He'll be no use tomorrow either because he'll be hungover.

I would settle yourself down with gorgeous new baby, in the spare room if you have one, and just stay out of his way.

You and your baby deserve better.

Did I mention he's an arse?

💐💐💐

(I'd also be tempted to ring his mum when he does eventually get home, if you're awake, just to let her know he finally turned up. But that's just me, and I have no fucks left to give).

the reason he acts like that is because of his mother, thinking he can do no wrong. and at 25 i am afraid he isn't mature and your going to be fighting a losing battle with his immaturity and his mother in his corner.

Put your key in the door and go to bed. He doesn't deserve to be let in. Selfish horrible man.

Desperate behaviour. You should be together with your newborn and DC. It really is unforgivable the first night you and baby are home.
Your DH probably won't be home tonight OP.

That’s horrible. It’s what men used to do back in the 1900s… wetting the baby’s head. It’s no longer acceptable to leave a woman, newly postpartum and in pain to go drink.

This wont improve. He's shown you who he is.

Wow.
What an awful, selfish thing to do.
I'm so sorry @Coffeecherrymama

My first night home my husband cared for the baby solo while I was passed out exhausted from what I'd just been through. At the very least he should be up in the morning without a hangover so he can take care of the older child while you sleep/take care of baby.
Your partner is selfish and uncaring.

OP I am so sorry you're experiencing this. How old is your other child?

What time did he go out?

I cannot actually believe someone would do this to their wife. You've just given birth and you're looking after two children on your own, on your first night home. While he goes out and gets pissed!!

My fiance is 27 now. When we had our first child (together), he was 23.

I was in hospital for 5 days (induction, very complicated, painful, stressful etc).

I barely slept the whole time.

The SECOND we got home he pretty much ordered me to bed and said he would look after baby so I could get much needed rest. I slept until the next day and he did everything.

It was his first child, first experience of all this, and he still knew what the right thing to do was.

I'm really sorry your DH still hasn't learned to do the right thing by the time second DC has come. He could at least be fucking present for God's sake

Wow the first night home with a newborn?? Spectacularly selfish. I would be beyond angry. What an appalling partner and father.

He’s entitled to enter his own home unfortunately

How old are you both?

What kind of a relationship is it that you have to ring his mum to get her to tell your husband to come back home? This isn't how mature adult relationships should be.

Of course he is entitled to celebrate but the decent thing would be to be around to give you to time to settle at home with the baby first. If he is out drinking all this time he'll be useless to you until he has sobered up.

Lock the doors and let him go back to his mum permanently.

Edit: I just read how old you are. I was expecting teen parents too.

He can go to his mums. He clearly has no interest in new baby.

Yes! Absolutely!!!!

Not legal, no

Apparently this is the legal position in the UK

• Safety Risk: If a drunk husband poses a threat to your safety or your children's safety, you should prioritize safety and consider obtaining a protective order.
• Property Rights: If you both own or rent the home, you cannot simply lock him out legally in most places, even if your name is the only one on the deed.

Can you put a deadbolt on the door or put your key in the inside lock so his doesn’t work?

He sounds way too immature to be a father. You have every right to feel angry and very let down. These early days are so very tough even with a supportive partner. I hope things improve OP but if not don't hesitate to reach out to your midwife, health visitor or Women's Aid for advice and support.