To be furious with DH for this?

i would have blocked him. Do you own or rent?

This has got to be some sort of joke?!?!!?

He’s gone to Ibiza when his baby is less than 2 weeks old?

How the fuck does he think there’s any coming back from this?

I’d block his number and change the locks on the house. If it’s in joint names you’ll probably have to let him back in but it will send him a message.

Is a judge going to be persuaded by a man who goes on a bender the night his wife and newborn baby comes back from the hospital then fucks off on a lads holiday to Ibiza. It doesn’t scream primary carer does it ?

Not to scare you but you need to track what he does / has done for the 3 yr old. If he can convince a judge that he is the stay at home parent and responsible for the 3yr old care/activities he could have more of a claim. That said if the 3 yr old is in nursery and you do it all as I suspect then he has a tough gig to prove.

Op, do you own your home and is there much equity in it?
How long have you been married?

Find a solicitor and put the wheels in motion for a divorce ASAP.

He’s very immature and not ready to be a partner and dad. Sadly I’d bail out from this. It’s prob dawning on him what a mess he’s made of things. But I don’t think you can trust him not to go awol again. His mum sounds awful but at the end of the day he’s a grown up. (Although not behaving like one)

Just block him for now. He’s not going to be calling you with any information about the kids when he is Ibiza, so he has no information that is relevant to you. If you have information about the kids that he needs to know you can still contact him or have someone contact him on your behalf.

you can unblock the number later, or use a different way of communicating when it comes to sorting things out with the kids.

if you have messages of you asking him to leave you alone and then he keeps messaging, screen shot them, save them somewhere he can’t get to them and make you tell your solicitor about them. They see shitty men like this all the time and can provide some qualified advice.

Because he doesn’t care. In reality, it’s probably been this way for a while, but it’s more obvious to OP because a) postpartum and b) he’s slowly but surely getting worse.

I can’t believe he still had the cheek to go

Yes you can - just do it! If he turns up on the doorstep and won’t leave call the police and tell them you are frightened of him and so are your children and tell them you’ve just given birth and separated from him and they will tell D hay it’s a civil matter but also escort him off the premises

He’s an absolute cunt!!!!!!

What the absolute hell is this situation? What an absolute bellend of a human being, I can’t even call him a man - I’m so sorry OP that you are married to this POS! Get out as soon as you can for the sake of you and the kids and don’t look back!

You deserve much better, get his stupid mother to come clean up the vomit.

She (your mil) must be a useless drunk herself to think this is ok. No wonder he's a jerk.

What an absolute peach. He’s got a newborn baby and a toddler at home and he’s off larging it up in Ibiza like a 16 year old that’s just finished his exams.

The best thing you can do right now is to block his number, and block him on any social media.

He really is an utter arsehole isn't he. I am so sorry you are in this position.

Wow, I'm lost for words. Please leave him. He can go live with his enabling mother. I don't think there's any coming back from this. A decent husband would be with you, supporting you. Not out partying like a single man. He doesn't seem to add positives to your life, just more drama which you don't need.

If he wanted to make amends he wouldn’t have gone.

It reminds me of my younger years when unbeknown to me, a BF at the time used to follow me home to ensure that’s where I went, then he would go out clubbing etc from there. His mother ended up telling me..

your (former) partner is no prize. Out of work for so long, spending savings on himself when there’s a new baby coming into the home. He is trying to cause you anguish by threatening you into thinking you are going to be homeless.

please make an appointment with legal aid or a solicitor pronto and when you hear from the moron again give him their contact details.

I still think you should have a chat to your local community police too. They will have good contacts who can help and support you. Hinting that you are going to be homeless when you are just home with a new Bub is threatening behaviour.

sending hugs. 🤗

Because he has (finally) realised that he has gone waaay too far and now almost certainly doesnt have a home to come back to.

He either has to live with his mother (which I suspect he would rather not do, I bet she is all over him with her smothering) or get a job and pay his way.

He crashed the gravy train and is now regretting it. I would send one message "I have asked you to not contact me and you are still doing that so let me be clear. I do not wish to have any contact with you whatsoever unless it is about the children, any other messages will be ignored and calls not answered. If it continues I will be logging them with the police as harassment".

Don’t respond to him.

I’d bet any money that he’s taking drugs and sleeping with random girls whilst he’s out there. I’m so sorry to say.

Speak to a solicitor ASAP Take a family member with you.

Do NOT contact his parents.

Are you gonna take him back? Honestly a new born baby and he's in Ibiza that is beyond low

“Cake and eat it” spring to mind…