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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be furious with DH for this?

888 replies

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:05

First night home since giving birth and DH has gone out with his mates drinking and still isn’t home and he isn’t answering any calls or messages. He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left and said he would be back before 10pm but he’s still not home! I’m so angry that he has just left me here with our newborn when he knows I’m struggling but his mum says I’m overreacting and that he’s “entitled to a night out”! I feel like I could just cry to be honest! AIBU?

OP posts:
ForeverTheOptomist · 26/04/2026 03:05

Passingthrough123 · 25/04/2026 22:55

Double lock the front door, switch your phone off and get some sleep. If he wants to be an utter prick on his newborn baby's first night at home, he can do it while sleeping off his hangover in the garden.

Then tomorrow you need a serious think about whether you want to stay married to such a selfish git.

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Sorry, but I have been reading through this thread feeling pretty heartbroken, but thankful that nobody has as yet raised the whole 'should you really be married to this person' crap. And here it is. Undermining someone who's just home with a brand new baby.

I really think that OP has more than enough to think about, and indeed worry about right now. Whilst I can see that this post is heartfelt, this sort of comment isn't really what she needs.

LBFseBrom · 26/04/2026 03:05

Who are these friends he is out with, do you know them?

WhatNextImScared · 26/04/2026 02:58

This reply has been deleted

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We’ve found the token MRA on the thread 🙄

ForeverTheOptomist · 26/04/2026 02:44

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:16

What the hell?? I don’t keep him caged up??

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@Skybluepinky You are shocking.

lovemyboyz247 · 26/04/2026 02:43

I hope you are ok OP. Congratulations on the birth of your new baby. I can imagine you are exhausted and have been left feeling disappointed with how your husband has behaved.

YANBU to be raging at this. Very selfish of him to leave you with the children to go drinking and then ignoring you when you were trying to contact him.

Do you have family who can give you a helping hand in the next few days? Not his mum, but other family? If so, then I would reach out to them as he won’t be any help to you if he’s hungover and you probably don’t want him helping if he is either.

I hope he explains himself and apologies to you for this pathetic behaviour. He has no idea why you were calling him. You could have been calling for an emergency and he just ignored you.

Zanatdy · 26/04/2026 02:40

Wow, that’s pretty shocking on your first night home. His mum is deranged, he deserves a night out?

Reallyneedsaholiday · 26/04/2026 02:35

Is he home yet?

SunnyRedSnail · 26/04/2026 02:09

How unbelievably selfish if him.

I would be furious. I would have lost all respect. I would be reconsidering thr relationship if my DH has done that despite being well aware I was struggling.

andthat · 26/04/2026 02:04

What a selfish bastard.

Is he usually this awful @Coffeecherrymama?

Sensiblesal · 26/04/2026 02:04

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 23:55

He’s still not home and he still isn’t answering any calls or messages. His WhatsApp says he was active 5 minutes ago but he hasn’t read any of my messages all evening.

Edited

did you spend the whole night messaging him & calling then got his mum too. Maybe this is why he hasn’t come home & has ignored you.

either way not reading your messages all night tells you he does not give a shit.

the poster that said they would just have a lovely evening with the baby. If you are fine in yourself & can take care of the children, do that, you don’t need a knobhead who wants to be out & not with you.

you need to try and get some rest, forget him for now but you do have to consider if this is a relationship you want to be in

ElenOfTheWays · 26/04/2026 02:01

I wouldn't be able to forgive this. It would be the end for me.
I doubt he's even thought about that possibility though.
If OP decides to split up, he'll be shocked and won't understand why.
Because he's a child.
Hopefully OP is in bed now and resting. I doubt her DH is coming home tonight.

ThisAutumnTown · 26/04/2026 01:30

He’s an absolute scumbag and his friends are just as bad for encouraging him when they know he has a newborn at home.
His bitch of a mother can piss of as well.

Honestly you deserve so much more than this. I reserve these for special cases but here we go - LTB.

ForCosyLion · 26/04/2026 01:25

IsThatAHedgehog · 26/04/2026 00:27

A toddler and a newborn. And he's been out for 8.5 hours getting pissed leaving you to do everything. And ignoring all your calls and messages.

I'm sorry but this is genuinely fucking despicable

It really is.

jellyfish798 · 26/04/2026 01:16

Unreal behaviour tbh OP. Hope he grows up a bit and apologises.
Hugs & hope you're ok xx

estrogone · 26/04/2026 01:15

Teacupover5 · 25/04/2026 22:29

Chill out -I was glad my DH was out and I got my lovely baby to myself

On your first night home? Bollocks!

GinaandGin · 26/04/2026 01:12

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 25/04/2026 23:22

He's a total arse.

He'll be no use tomorrow either because he'll be hungover.

I would settle yourself down with gorgeous new baby, in the spare room if you have one, and just stay out of his way.

You and your baby deserve better.

Did I mention he's an arse?

💐💐💐

(I'd also be tempted to ring his mum when he does eventually get home, if you're awake, just to let her know he finally turned up. But that's just me, and I have no fucks left to give).

Edited
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This approach is the best

OneNewLeader · 26/04/2026 01:10

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:15

Because I called her assuming she would be appalled at his behaviour and get him to come back home

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Was he the same with child #1?

Strangerthanfictions · 26/04/2026 01:09

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:09

Our second child x

His mum is saying he’s “entitled” to a night out and “entitled to celebrate the baby” but I’m absolutely furious

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Yeah he's been through a lot physically to bring that baby into the world I'm sure, it makes a huge amount of sense that your first night in your own home as a family of four is all about him having a great time. What an absolute arsehole

Wtafdidido · 26/04/2026 00:53

Put a note on the door telling him to spend the night at his mums. You have two babies and do t need a third adult baby

Gymnopedie · 26/04/2026 00:45

tachetastic · 26/04/2026 00:15

None of us have any idea what he is like but OP has said that he is not normally like this, and I choose to trust her judgement on her own husband. He has messed up and he needs to learn his lesson, but it doesn't need to be repeated. Don't make it into a bigger deal than it needs to be.

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When he left the house he was sober. Even if he's steaming drunk now. That was when his brain should have been screaming 'no', 'are you mad?' and 'get the fuck back in the house'. That it didn't is a very black mark. And however lovely he's been in the past, no truly lovely man does what he's done.

TheDaringFawn · 26/04/2026 00:41

Whathappened op

Mummyshark2019 · 26/04/2026 00:30

LTB. Selfish twat

Thebigarsedbitch · 26/04/2026 00:28

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A married man who has fathered two children has trapped himself. If he wanted to carry on with his single life he should have done something to prevent a pregnancy. He is a hateful selfish pig to abandon his newly post partum wife on her first night at home after the birth. I don't know about caging him - in OP's place I'd be seriously thinking about binning him!

IsThatAHedgehog · 26/04/2026 00:27

A toddler and a newborn. And he's been out for 8.5 hours getting pissed leaving you to do everything. And ignoring all your calls and messages.

I'm sorry but this is genuinely fucking despicable

ForCosyLion · 26/04/2026 00:26

I cannot imagine going out and leaving a spouse alone their first night home from hospital, for any procedure. But especially not after giving birth. What a rotten thing to do. Hugs, OP xxx

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